Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, Theresa May, has announced that she didn’t want to go to the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle anyway.

The announcement came after it was revealed that May, along with Presidents Trump and Obama will be noticeably missing from the list of invited guests at Windsor Castle next month.

“It has been decided that an official list of political leaders – both UK and International – is not required for Prince Harry and Ms Markle’s wedding” an official spokesman for the Prince revealed.

“And besides, they’re all c@nts.”

Downing Street has said that the Prime Minister has something very important to do that day anyway and will probably be washing her hair and stuff.

The US State Department has issued a statement saying that POTUS has a round of golf, a grand wizard and a rich widow to attend to in Florida on the 19th of May.

The only person that has apparently shown any regret at not being on the list is Mr Obama. A London spokesperson for the Obamas¬† told The Rochdale Herald “For real? I thought they was mates like and that Meghan is the shiznit.”

Whatever that means.

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Thomas Thomas is Sub-Editor for The Rochdale Herald. Thomas is proud to support such causes as "Cornwall for Jam First" and "Drop Scones Not Bombs". His personal motto is "Fuck it, why not?"