Boris Johnson

Monster fatberg found in Boris Johnson’s head

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A monster fatberg the size of two double decker buses has been found inside the head of rotund foreign secretary Boris Johnson, Trev Panning,...
Theresa May

Theresa May breaks fingernail as her grip on power weakens

Government manicurists today rushed to Theresa May's aid following a nail injury, frantically claiming it was merely "chipped varnish". As finger after taloned finger...

Corbyn train lie proves case for nationalisation

After it was revealed today that Jeremy Corbyn lied about having to sit on the floor of a train he claimed was ram packed,...

Theresa May to Naked Mud Wrestle Nicola Sturgeon for the Right to Trigger Brexit

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British Prime Minister Theresa May is to mud wrestle naked with Scottish nationalist leader Nicola Sturgeon for the right to trigger article 50 to take the...

Russian government denies involvement in Aleksandr ‘the Meerkat’ Orlov poisoning

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The Russian government has denied any involvement in the poisoning of Aleksandr 'The Meerkat' Orlov, after the TV star was found unconscious outside his...

Arsehole doesn’t know he’s an arsehole

An absolute arsehole is blissfully unaware that everybody thinks he's an arsehole. Dave Bloke, 42 and a bit from Rochdale, somehow still thinks people like...

Daily Mail fury as NO MIGRANTS are going to be killed as a result...

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The Mail and the Express allege that the silence of the clangs is meant to be a mark of respect timed to coincide with the twentieth anniversary of Princess Diana's death.
Air Ambulance

Woman treated for shock after husband checks jumper washing label instructions

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Heather Todd from County Durham is reeling from shock after she discovered her husband Michael not only reading the washing instruction label on a...
Theresa May

Theresa May performs celebratory podium dance

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Theresa May has celebrated her victory in the Tory Party's got talent final by performing a podium dance in the front 10 Downing Street. A...

Husband Goes Shopping Buys Everything on List

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A woman from Cleckheaton told The Rochdale Herald today how her husband went shopping, with a list, and returned an hour and a half...
Houses of Parliament

SHOCK after politician caught watching NORMAL PORN featuring adults

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A former Scotland Yard detective has told the Rochdale herald he was "shocked" by the amount of legal pornography viewed on a computer seized...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson’s Hair and Trump’s Hair to have Puppies

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In a stunning announcement today it was revealed, that Boris Johnson's hair impregnated Donald Trump's hair a few months ago. Boris Johnson revealed this morning...
Couple with dog

Man thinks they’re getting dog instead of a baby

A poor deluded fool from Rochdale has convinced himself that he and his long term partner are getting a puppy instead of a baby. Steve...

Corbyn ‘sells out’ in Stoke

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Leader of the Labour Party, Jeremy Corbyn (27), has finally sold out in Stoke. “Every single copy of my Big Issues has gone…”, said Corbyn....

You ain’t no white van man bruv, delivery driver tells Finsbury attacker

The white van man community has been under a great deal of pressure to apologise for one of them deliberately running over members of...
The Queen

Queen announces Prince Harry will become King of the USA following wedding to Meghan...

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The Queen has announced that she exercise her right to crown Prince Harry and Meghan Markle King and Queen of the USA. During the announcement...

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