Local News

Following the conviction of their leaders for advanced wankery, local Britain First members today received another body blow.  In line with a recent decision by Delta Airlines to disassociate itself with a toxic organisation...

Bearded men around the country joined together in a collective shudder yesterday as they were tagged in yet more increasingly irritating, abysmal and completely unfunny 'beard decoration' posts on social media. Most of the pictures...

Brian Bamford from Bamford got the shock news that "he hasn't turned out okay" after a neighbour called the police when she saw him chasing his screaming seven year old around his garden wielding...

Executives at Rotherham based media company Hot Pot Productions were left floundering today after yet another blow, the announcement that their flagship production, a reboot of the popular afternoon quiz show 'Going For Gold,'...

In an incredible turn of events a local Rochdale man found his keys in the first place he looked for them this afternoon. Steve Dickinson, 37 from Milnrow in Rochdale, hadn't even asked his wife...

A first time buyer has been explaining how stressful buying a house is to a man he met in a foodbank. Taylor Twyford-Twist was doing his weekly bit of virtue signalling, or charity work as...

Still recovering from the profound damage caused by that picture of Kim Kardashian's arse a while back, the Interweb was dealt yet another bitter blow last night; local internet subscribers were left floundering in...

Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday. DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to be paying full price for sofas and hearth rugs for...

Rochdale Council's Refuse Planner, Frederick West, made the announcement on the council's Facebook page last week. "Since the resounding success of our bi-weekly refuse collections we've decided to trial a new scheme in which we...

Rochdale's Spotland stadium is set to unveil a new corporate section "with a difference" above the Willbutts Lane stand, in honour of world famous local townsperson - Bill Oddie. "Bill has seemed a bit down...

A TK Maxx customer in Rochdale has described his purchase of a pair of jeans that look acceptable and fit perfectly as “nothing short of a miracle.” Brian Jones, 39, found the jeans whilst...

Food enthusiasts have demanded an enquiry after research showed that as many as 1 in 10 supermarket ready meals contain trace amounts of vegetables. A Burnley resident told us, "I was shocked when I opened...

Royal British Legion members from Little Mynd, near Rochdale, have been denied the chance to sing their favourite song during their annual attendance at church. The row erupted as the hymn Onward Christian Soldiers was...

The Rochdale Herald is sad to report that the first Burnley resident to complete the 40 minute mile has died aged 29. Bill Board completed the feat this morning after setting off from his house....

It has been confirmed by the company tasked with removing as many street trees from the streets of Sheffield as possible that bouncers have been hired to protect the tree fellers from the feral...