Local News

Funeral services are enjoying an unprecedented rise in trade thanks to the reforms in disability benefits and the selling off of NHS services. Although ATOS, the company used to assess work capacity, has come under fire...

One of Rochdale's most iconic landmarks, the Welcome to Rochdale; Arsehole of Europe' signpost, has come under threat as Britain gears up for leaving the EU. Rochdale has held the official European 'Arsehole' title for...

A Rochdale man has been told to put a top on whilst he does the gardening as he's in no danger of ever being mistaken for Poldark. Eccentric loner, 38 year old Stan Still said,...

The editorial department at The Rochdale Herald was in uproar this afternoon after one of the biggest names in satirical local news blatantly ripped off their ripped off meme of Jeremy Corbyn on an...

Fans of Rochdale songstress Lisa Stansfield will be pleased to hear that her latest release, the eighth album from the evergreen pop sensation, is out on Monday on Polydor Records. 'Flogging A Dead Horse' is an affectionate...

It seems that our writers are on form today.  One of our articles has apparently upset a section of our readers more than usual, to the point that one "Expert", when challenged, felt capable...

It's embarrassing - said Councillor Dale Whiting. "It's supposed to be our tribute to the legendary Gracie Fields but it looks like Del Boy. We're a laughing stock yet again". Initially when the statue was...

Herald editor, Quentin D. Fortesqueue has been re-admitted to Rochdale General Hospital for surgery to remove his tongue from his cheek. The jaded and cynical hack-in-chief of Rochdale’s only quality satirical organ had very recently...

Dickheads armed with fireworks have been urged to “please not kill anyone” this bonfire night, as it emerged how pissing about with explosives after 10 cans of lager is dangerous. A statement released by Rochdale...

One person was mortified and several others were left badly discomforted today after routine niceties at a bus stop almost ended in a conversation. The incident, which took place at around 8.15 this morning, is believed...

In a determined effort, this time (yes, this time it's for real, not like the other times) Simon Lardon, single, of Sheffield, has given up beer and bacon and joined his local Sweatytynes to...

All at the Herald are devastated said Doris the tea lady.

The EU move to ban phosphates in donner kebabs has sent a shockwave through the British culinary world. Keith Braithwaite, local restaurateur and winner of Burnley's only certificate for food safety said "Let's face it,...

The new President's controversial Muslim ban has caused outrage across the globe and chaos in airports all across the US. Last night thousands of protesters gathered in central Manchester, joining many others in major cities...

The Department of Health have launched an inquiry into an outbreak of Hepatitis B at a Rochdale WI knitting needle swap scheme after untreated cases resulted in the death of sixteen members.  Problems seemed to...

Learner drivers in Rochdale have been getting to know the high octane thrill of queuing on the M62 for the first time today. The government has for the first time allowed learner drivers to...