Putin to sing ‘This land is my land’ at Eurovision tonight
Russia today announced suprise plans to enter the Eurovision song contest tonight. The Russian entry is to be sung by Vladimir Putin and is entitled "This
land...
Comedians Safe To Call Erdogan A Farthead
Comedians and satirists heaved a sigh of relief today as the prosecution of German comic Jan Böhmermann bubble Erdogan was dropped.
"Finally! Finally! Finally!" said...
Syrians praying for UK dog owners tonight
People across Syria are united in prayer tonight as Britain is bombarded with heavy rounds of fireworks, the worst we've seen in weeks.
"It's horrendous"...
Putin joins America in suffering from Trumpgret
Relations between the US and the Russian Federation have deteriorated since Trump became president, says Vladimir Putin.
"Listen, sweetie dahling, I thought rigging the elections...
Home Office To Issue Migrants With Wearable Documentation
EU nationals currently living in the UK will require documents confirming their right to remain in the country post-Brexit, the Home Office has announced.
Speaking...
US announces National Police Shooting League
Excitement is mounting in the United States ahead of the launch of the National Police Shooting League.
20,000 law enforcement agencies will be competing for...
Harvey Weinstein apologises for James Corden jokes
Hollywood millionaire Harvey Weinstein has said he is "truly sorry" for cracking jokes about James Corden at a black tie charity dinner in Los...
You lot all look the same to me, Jeremy Hunt tells wife and Chinese...
The UK's new foreign secretary Jeremy Hunt admitted yesterday that he can't tell his wife apart from the Chinese Foreign Minister because they both...
God refuses to put out Notre Dame fire until he gets 100,000 likes =...
The 14th century cathedral has already lost one of its spires and a large section of roof in the blaze after a fire broke...
Adolf tops list of most popular baby names for boys in USA in 2017
For the first time in almost fifty years the name Adolf is topping the lists for most popular baby names in the United States...
President Trump ‘leaves toilet seat up’ claims explosive new book
Washington has been shocked by a controversial new book which claims that, on occasion, President Trump forgets to put the toilet seat down.
The...
We tried democracy and frankly it’s not for us, Spanish government tells voters
The Prime Minister of Spain has told voters that democracy isn't for them and it refuses to recognise the result of a referendum on...
German Police deploy hydration wagons to cool off crowd outside G20 summit
Police in Hamburg Germany have deployed Mobile Hydration Wagons in an effort to cool down overheated and thirsty crowds gathered out side the G20...
Spanish bullfighters win inaugural Animal Cruelty World Cup
Spain’s bullfighters have won the inaugural Animal Cruelty World Cup in Brazil, narrowly beating the foxhunters of England in the final.
The competition, in...
Sinn Fein election observer confirms Venezuelan blowjobs, cocaine and elections are best in world
"I've had my share of blowjobs," confirms Jarry Odoms, mouthpiece of Sinn Fein. "But nobody does erections, I mean elections, like the Venezuelans. Now...
Donald Trump arrives in Germany and says ‘Ich bin ein Binliner’ Berlin agrees
President Donald Trump landed in Germany Sunday morning to kick off the first leg of his 12-day trip to Europe.
Trump held a surprise press...
