Swiper named as Map Safety Ambassador by UN
The World Health Organization (WHO) has appointed Swiper, the thieving rodent, as a "map safety ambassador" to help tackle dangerous map use.
New WHO head...
Only two FBI directors until Christmas
Christmas is coming, the POTUS is getting fat. Please to put a penny in the old man's retirement fund.
Following the latest Trumptastrophy in Alabama,...
The Middle East starts packing as Blair hints at return to politics
The Oxford English definition of irony, former Middle East Peace Envoy, Tony Blair, suggested a political return may be on the cards in a...
Trump All Mexicans To Do Pinata National Service
US President Donald Trump has signed an Executive Order forcing all US Mexican citizens to be Piñata at white children's Birthday Parties.
The "Piñata National...
President Trump wins golf tournament with hole in one on final difficult windmill
Donald Trump has begun his seventeen day summer vacation on a high after winning an international competition at his private golf course in New...
Aussies can stay in Scotland
Gregg and Kathryn Brian and their son were given a last minute reprieve from being deported back to Australia from Scotland if Mrs Brian...
What could possibly go wrong, asks West
Western leaders have suggested that nothing could possibly go wrong by attacking Syria and this time will definitely be different to Iraq, Afghanistan and...
If it wasn’t for these pesky bone spurs I’d have stopped shooter myself, says...
Actual real-life President of the United States Donald Trump told a press conference earlier today that if it wasn't for the debilitating bone spurs...
Stop calling people cocks you dick, White House HR Department tells Anthony Scaramucci
The White House HR Department has asked their latest recruit Anthony Scaramucci, the new White House Communications Director, to please, please, please stop calling...
Boris meant Saudis are awesome says Defence Secretary Michael Fallon
Boris Johnson’s words on Saudi Arabia and other Middle East powers were misreported, according to a clearly desperate Defence Secretary Sir Mr Michael of Fallon.
Obama and Biden spend last afternoon playing ‘hide the turd’ at White House
Outgoing President and his VP Joe Biden have spent their last afternoon in office playing 'hide the turd' in The White House.
Biff Tannen secures Republican Party presidential nomination
The world was horrified but not terribly surprised to discover this morning that professional gambler and self-styled American oligarch Biff Tannen secured the US...
Lord Lucan, Pol Pot, Martin Borman ,Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi and Boko Haram emerge from...
An entire top shelf of global mass murderers have signalled they plan to emerge from hiding following the announcement by US president Donald trump...
Christmas moved to November 12th
Theresa May's government yesterday announced plans to move Christmas forward this year to November the 12th, just in case we don't all reach December.
The...
Trump Replaces White House With Blimp
President Donald Trump took to the skies over Washington today in a giant, orange blimp.
The President is believed to have made the decision...
Heroic arsonist awarded posthumous bravery medal for putting out fire
A heroic self-admitted arsonist in Northern Ireland has been awarded a posthumous medal for bravery after spending half a lifetime putting out suspicious looking...
