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Home Office To Issue Migrants With Wearable Documentation

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EU nationals currently living in the UK will require documents confirming their right to remain in the country post-Brexit, the Home Office has announced. Speaking to the House of Commons, Amber Rudd explained that they...

Sex Workers to sue Daily Mail for comparing them to Melania Trump

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Millions of sex workers are suing right wing rag, The Daily Mail, after they referred to Melania Trump as a "former sex worker" in an article about her immigration status. "Listen, despite us providing an...

Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme dies aged 73

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Oscar winning director Jonathan Demme has died aged 73. Filmmaker Jonathan Demme, whose Oscar-winning thriller "The Silence of the Lambs" terrified audiences and introduced one of the most indelible villains in movie history, has...
Melania Trump

Melania did not have sex with horrible old men for money admits Daily Mail

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The Daily Mail have gone on the record today to say that Melania Trump did not and never has had sex with any horrible old men for money. "Melania has definitely never had sex with...

North Korea Central News Agency accuses The Sun of bias and propaganda

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The controversial state run media outlet of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea ran an article today insisting western media outlets, in particular, the Rupert Murdoch owned News Corp of 'blatant propaganda' The accusations came...

Barclays customer sent to Guantanamo after overdraft complaint

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A Rochdale man has been kidnapped by US intelligence services and sent to Guantanamo Bay after he complained to his local Barclays Bank about high overdraft charges. Quentin D. Fortesqueue, editor of The Rochdale Herald,...
Donald Trump

Germany to face sanctions for failing to help US during D-Day landings

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Donald Trump has today announced a huge package of far reaching sanctions against Germany after discovering that Germany failed to help the US during the D-Day landings. The sanctions will take effect on Monday and...
Amazon Delivery

China refuses to sign for North Korea’s Amazon deliveries as part of far reaching...

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In a move that is likely to further raise tensions on the Korean Peninsula, China has announced that it will no longer sign for North Korea's Amazon deliveries. The measure is one a range of UN sanctions brought in to punish...

Pakistani woman sentenced to death for insulting Harry Potter

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A woman in Pakistan has been sentenced to death for insulting the fictional character, Harry Potter. The woman's lawyer told us, "This woman deeply insulted Harry Potter whilst at a neighbours house. She said that Hufflepuff was...

Donald Trump believes Nazi flags are adverts for fidget spinners

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The President went on to suggest North Korea would be much safer if it followed the example of America and gave its citizens toys to play with and flags to wave like the patriots in Charlottesville yesterday.
Donald Trump

Half of Trump Supporters Gullible Obese Idiots and the other Half deplorable Racist A-holes...

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In the wake of the "scandal" surrounding Hillary Clinton's comments describing half of Trump supporters as a "basket of deplorables", The Rochdale Herald commissioned an exhaustive study which revealed some startling results about Trump...

Gun sales rise 300% ahead of Trump Inauguration

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American gun sales have enjoyed a steep rise in the days leading up to the President elect's inauguration. "It's almost 200% more than when Bush Jnr got elected" beamed Chuck Cartridge, head of the NRA. In...

President Trump’s half-brother assassinated in Kuala Lumpur

In a shocking announcement from Malayasia, official sources have revealed that President Donald Trump's half-brother has been assassinated at Kuala Lumpur Airport. According to local TV reports, Mr Trump's older brother, Fred, was killed at the airport by...

Canada and Mexico to build border walls if World Bank will fund a lid

The governments of Canada and Mexico reached an historic agreement today to build 50 foot tall walls along their borders with the US on the proviso that the World Bank lends them the money for a lid.

ISIS Second In Command Killed Again

The Daily Express has reported for the eighth time this month the death of so called Islamic State's second in command. "He was killed by drone" said the article. "Probably." The news comes after the leader...
Political Prisoners

North Korea accused of human rights abuses after forcing political prisoners to meet Donald...

There was widespread outrage across the international community this morning with Kim Jong Un facing fresh accusations of human rights abuses, torture and human rights abuses. The allegations follow reports that the North Korean regime...

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