White House confirms all its press staff do coke
The White House has admitted today that all its press staff do coke.
The admission comes after the latest mouthpiece for President Trump, Mr Scaramucci,...
Trump Election Due To Cosmic Emissions Says Brian Cox
Professor Brian Cox has explained the recent election of Donald Trump by pointing to a rare stellar phenomenon. The Oldham-but-not-Rochdale born scientist explained:-
"On the 9th...
Putin starts worrying that he might be a dick
Russian President Vladimir Putin has reportedly started worrying that he might actually be a bit of a dick.
Sources close to Putin have revealed that...
Roy Moore ordered to pay if he wants another go after coming in a...
The Alabama Secretary of State has told Judge Roy Moore that he will have to finance any recount of the Senate seat vote.
John Merrill...
Steve Bannon Torn Over Best Way To F*ck The Disabled
Following reports that Donald Trump will no longer repeal an Executive Order protecting LGBT rights, White House insiders have revealed that his Chief Strategist,...
Mysterious fanged sea creature that washed up on Texas beach identified as Steve Bannon
The large fanged, faceless sea creature that washed up on a southeastern Texas beach following Hurricane Harvey has finally been identified.
The identity of the...
Playboy Bunnies surprised to find Hugh Hefner stiffer than usual
Notorious Bachelor and soft core pornographer Hugh Hefner was pronounced dead this morning at his home, the Playboy Mansion, Los Angeles.
Early reports indicate that...
Texas commemorates first mass shooting by giving students guns to take to school
To celebrate the 50th anniversary of the world's inaugural mass shooting event at the University of Austin in Texas law makers have passed a...
Bill Clinton Gives Trump His “Little Black Book”
Bill Clinton, who famously began his Presidency by drawing up a list of every woman in America between the ages of 18 and 35, has formally handed over his Little Black Book to President Trump.
British Tomahawks Launched As Part Of U.S. Strike Hit Aledo
It has been revealed that as part of Donald Trump's assault on Syria, two British missiles were launched. These missiles were said to be...
World shits itself after Putin spotted smiling
Political commentators in Moscow are all-a-chatter today over the unprecedented gossip that Vladimir Putin has been observed smirking slightly.
The current record was set in...
Trump appoints Rochdale Herald editor chief of intelligence
More details have been emerging of the structure of the Trump elected new administration which is taking shape.
Amid the circulating rumours of secret talks...
US Government admits covering up red alert over imminent asteroid impact
Scientists and Government sources have confirmed that the giant asteroid, 2016-FI is on course to strike the Northern Hemisphere after initial uncertainty about it's...
Leave campaigner forced to abandon argument after forgetting what Brexit means
Panic today as vocal anti-EU campaigner, Dennis Pigwater, forgot a crucial piece of his argument during an online debate.
Dennis, 58, from Rochdale, was engaged...
Potential asylum seekers now to be meme tested
Following public outcry, The Home Office have announced new measures to establish the age of refugees.
Many Brits are shocked that someone who has had...
Comedians Safe To Call Erdogan A Farthead
Comedians and satirists heaved a sigh of relief today as the prosecution of German comic Jan Böhmermann bubble Erdogan was dropped.
"Finally! Finally! Finally!" said...
