Turning Trump off and on again doesn’t seem to have done any good
The White House Head of IT has expressed his heightened concern that the Presidency could be heading for a critical outage.
Head of IT Maurice...
RH Exclusive: Excerpt from phone call between Turnbull and Trump
Here at the Rochdale Herald, we’ve managed to get a world exclusive. It’s the leaked transcript of the conversation between President Trump and Prime...
Only 350 High School Shootings left until Christmas
Children across the United States of America were very excited to learn this morning that it's now officially only 350 school shootings until Christmas.
With...
Meryl Streep to sing Golden Shower of Hits by The Circle Jerks at Trump...
Meryl Streep has offered an olive branch to US President-elect Donald Trump following their Twitter spat earlier this week.
Italians face criticism over construction.
The Italian government had come under severe criticism today for the standards of its building construction in the 1600's. This comes in the wake...
Leave campaigner forced to abandon argument after forgetting what Brexit means
Panic today as vocal anti-EU campaigner, Dennis Pigwater, forgot a crucial piece of his argument during an online debate.
Dennis, 58, from Rochdale, was engaged...
People no longer surprised when Trump acts like a dick again
The repeated outbursts of hatemongering, sabre-rattling or just plain stupidity, emanating from the lips, press statements or usually the tweets, of Donald Trump, have...
Britain plans Brexit trade deal ‘perverts for peace’
Following the embarrassment of the spectacular failure of a hideously expensive program to rehabilitate sex offenders, Ministry of Justice officials are arranging study visits...
Donald Trump is a twat, confirm G6 leaders
Leader's of the G6 have agreed on the text of a communique officially declaring that Donald Trump is a twat.
One spokesperson said, "It's been...
Americans relieved to learn shooter was atheist
Concerned Americans were today relieved to hear that the Texas shooting was carried out by a human rights supporting atheist.
Initially, US citizens were horrified...
The only chemicals you can kills kids with are high explosives and white phosphorus,...
Following the outcry over the alleged chemical weapons attacks in Syria, the Pentagon have confirmed that the only legal chemicals you can use to...
Lego let go of Trump
It has been revealed this week that toy manufacturing giants Lego will not produce a figure of president elect Donald Trump.
Many have regarded this...
“The Cheesemakers?”
Archaeologists near Jerusalem have discovered what is believed to be a missing page from the Old Testament.
If genuine it belongs at the beginning of...
Mexican earthquake disaster: whose faultline is it anyway?
At the Herald, we do not make fun of the suffering of innocent disaster victims, but we do point fingers. Less Mock the Weak,...
US police to swear allegiance directly to Trump and be called the Orange Shirts
In a bold new democracy-busting move, Emperor Trump has decreed the police will now swear an oath of allegiance directly to the person of...
Fat bottomed ape learns to mimic human sounds
Washington DC - A seventy year primitive primate that can mimic human words such as hello, bigly, braggadocios, and covfefe is thought to be...



















































