Mount Rushmore

Trump vows to chisel four ‘losers’ off Mount Rushmore

3
President Trump has vowed to have the images of four of his predecessors chiselled off Mount Rushmore, describing them as ‘total losers’. In a...
Steve Bannon

Crazy bastard calls crazy bastard a crazy bastard

0
A crazy bastard who works in the White House has accused a former employee of being a crazy bastard. The crazy bastard apparently "disavowed' the...
Donald Trump DNA

US achieves 100% employment after Twitter forced to fact check Trump tweets

Donald Trump has achieved the biggest turnaround in US unemployment figures ever after Twitter was forced to recruit fact checkers to fact check his...

Man that spent last month saying all lives matter furious at 3 million Hong...

A Rochdale man that has just spent a month telling anyone within earshot or on the internet that all lives matter has said he's...

Campaign to move Calais Jungle migrant Camp to Southend dubbed inhumane

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Plans to move the makeshift refugee camp in Calais to Southend were quashed today after a cross party committee called the plans inhumane. Refugees from...
Ceuta

Ceuta is nothing like Gibraltar, King Felipe of Spain tells UK without hint of...

8
The Spanish King called for a deal on the status of Gibraltar yesterday. King Felipe VI clarified in no uncertain terms that: “The status of...

Dyson vacuum cleaners issue blanket denial of Trump wiretap allegations

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UK based vacuum cleaner and household electronics company Dyson has no involvement whatsoever in spying on US President Donald Trump, sources close to the...

North Korea Central News Agency accuses The Sun of bias and propaganda

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The controversial state run media outlet of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea ran an article today insisting western media outlets, in particular, the...

Donald Trump commemorative jigsaws to have missing pieces by design

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The White House has confirmed that the new range of Trump jigsaw puzzles, commemorating the President's achievements in office, are deliberately missing several pieces. The...
Bono

Pope meets Bono to demand he removes U2’s albums from his iTunes account

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Pope Francis is to have a private audience with Bono to demand to know how to delete U2's latest album from his iTunes library. According...

Director of CIA asks Jason Bourne to drop in on Trump for a ‘quiet...

11
The Director of The CIA, John O'Brennan, asked Jason Bourne to pop over to Trump Tower. Following allegations Donald Trump made about the US intelligence...

Trump’s presidency is ‘metaphorical, not literal’, says Spicer

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Following unsubstantiated wiretapping allegations, president Trump’s press secretary, Sean Spicer, has argued that Trump is the metaphorical president and leader of the free world,...

Scotch and Revolver sales jump 30,000% during Trump’s inaugural speech

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Scotch Whiskey and revolver salesman all over the world are in buoyant mood this afternoon after a huge windfall sales extravaganza during President Trump's inaugural address.

Racism cured after white people put black face on their social media accounts

We are pleased to report that racial prejudice worldwide has been solved by white people blacking up their social media accounts.  From your mum's...

Oh for F**k’s sake – say world leaders following Trump nomination

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Leaders around the world let out a simultaneous sigh of despair last night as the Republican Party confirmed Donald Trump's presidential nomination. In yet another...
Farage in Russian hat

Nigel farage to accept Russian Government lifetime achievement award in person

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Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) is alleged to be thrilled at being awarded the Russian Government's lifetime achievement award. Zoya Feedosev, Russian envoy to...

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