Anyone actively calling for a war to be automatically drafted to the front line
Anybody saying there should be a war may be required to put their money where their mouth is in future.
In a new bid to...
Trump a performance artist, claims Attorney
As the case against Trump supporter and white nationalist butt-nugget Matthew Heimbach heats up, his lawyer has said that Trump may well be called...
Liam Fox Seeks Trade Deal With ISIS
International Trade Secretary Liam Fox will fly into Iraq later today in the hope of securing a trade deal with the so-called 'Islamic State'.
Fox...
Heroic arsonist awarded posthumous bravery medal for putting out fire
A heroic self-admitted arsonist in Northern Ireland has been awarded a posthumous medal for bravery after spending half a lifetime putting out suspicious looking...
Civilised countries don’t gas civilians, they shoot them with AR-15s bought over counter at...
The US has told a UN Security Council meeting that the recent chemical attack on Syria is completely unacceptable.
Responding to reports of an incident...
Fictional President held to higher standard than actual President
Fictional President of the United States Francis Underwood has been obliged to step down this week following allegations of historical sexual harassment.
Whilst his Presidency...
President Trump In Deep Water Over Puerto Rico
President Donald Trump has found himself in the middle of a storm of controversy recently following his comments about Puerto Rico.
At a press...
Trump Admits ‘I’d Actually Prefer Snowden To Farage’
President-elect Donald Trump revealed today that although he had expressed a preference for Nigel Farage as UK ambassador to the USA, this was a...
Politically correct Bible released for Holiday Festival season
The National Council for Promotion of Intersectionalism and Political Correctness, which is totally a thing, have announced the publication of their new PC Approved New Testament Bible.
Child struggling with his job watches a kid with a lawnmower
A child struggling to do his job took time out of his day to watch a kid push a lawn mower at the White House the other day.
Donald Trump’s staff installs 400 extra red buttons to “delay the inevitable”
The fate of the billions of people could lie in the hands and minds of these two, often unpredictable leaders, which is a concern for many.
NRA claims that fewer elephants would be shot by hunters if more of them...
The National Rifle Association has today put out a statement claiming that fewer African elephants would fall victim to big game hunters if they...
UN tells Goodwill Ambassador to fuck off
After a record low of zero days in the job, the new UN Ambassador, whose job it would've been to generally spread love and...
Twitter activists shocked that hashtags haven’t eliminated police violence
More than two years after the fatal shooting of teenager Michael Brown, which led to widespread protests against police brutality across the U.S., many...
Modern Day Presidential latest euphemism for complete and utter numpty, say linguists
As Humpty Dumpty said, "When I use a word, it means whatever I want it to mean." Clearly in a world of self-reductible horseshit,...
US WWII veterans arrested after Trump bans anti-fascists
In extraordinary scenes the US Secret Service have rounded up and imprisoned several second world war veterans after Donald Trump announced the banning of...
