Consternation as Britain drops out of top 10 drinking nations
There was consternation last night when it was revealed that the United Kingdom has dropped to 12 in the global drinking league tables.
The country has...
OJ Simpson appointed White House press secretary
Tongues are wagging in Washington today over what seems too convenient for coincidence as OJ Simpson is rumoured about to be appointed as Sean...
Obama speech on Trump: untwist your knickers, it’ll be alright
Soon to be former-president, Barrack "Bazzer" Obama has said that nobody ever said that democracy was supposed to be easy and "it's harder than...
Donald Trump shits on White House floor after learning Obama uses toilets
News is emerging this morning that Donald Trump has started defecating on the floor like a dog after learning that Barack Obama uses toilets.
Several...
UK Customs replace “Nothing to declare” signs with “Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter...
Following the news that Boris Johnson has been elected Prime Minister UK Customs officials have decided to replace all the 'Nothing to Declare' signs...
Theresa May demands Trial by Combat to avoid EU trade negotiations
Theresa May has taken the unusual decision to demand a trial by combat rather than face the EU over the table at trade negotiations.
She...
Sweden attack was 100 times worse than The Bowling Green Massacre says Kellyanne Conway
More details are emerging of the savage attack somewhere in Sweden on Thursday, or perhaps Wednesday involving one or less unknown assailants.
In a shocking...
EU to force UK to use £ s d following Brexit…
Brussels has warned that Britain will no longer be allowed to use the decimal system following Brexit and will be forced to go back...
Bill Clinton Finally “Boss of Me” after Hillary Loss
Bill Clinton will finally get to be “the Boss of Me” after Hilary’s stunning loss in the US Presidential Election.
Donald Trump believes Nazi flags are adverts for fidget spinners
The President went on to suggest North Korea would be much safer if it followed the example of America and gave its citizens toys to play with and flags to wave like the patriots in Charlottesville yesterday.
Confederates, KKK and slave owners outraged by Appointment of Jeff Sessions to Attorney General
Confederates, slave owners and prominent members of the Ku Klux Klan have taken to Facebook to condemn Trump's nomination of Jeff Sessions to the office of Attorney General.
Trump condemns dead soldier for not standing during national anthem
President Donald Trump has rebuked allegations of inappropriate comments made by the grieving widow of a US soldier today by pointing out her husband...
Robert E Lee statue replaced by bronze of obese man on mobility scooter holding...
“How would you stage a cavalry charge with a bunch of trucks?” Prof A Lither of Charlottesville wanted to know. “You’d have whiny little left wing cuckold snowflake hippy vegetarians complaining about the damage to the grass before you so much as made it across the field and into the unarmed ranks of the alt-left fanatics.
Theresa May’s Rituals
"Theresa May is signalling distress." Dr. Maca Damia comments, viewing photos of the Prime Minister kneeling by the road just inside Wales.
"Do you see...
2017 set to be hottest year on record
Experts in worldwide trends are predicting that 2017 will reach terminal levels of warmth by mid-June.
Professor Thorfin Nerfstretcherrsson, Head of Rochdale Community University's department...
Theresa May summons devil to discuss Syria
The prime minister has summoned the devil to discuss the government's response to a suspected chemical weapons attack in Syria.
They are expected to discuss...
