Sponsorship deal agreed for new Emirates Notre Dame Cathedral
Following the destruction of popular prayer centre Notre Dame Cathedral, the Pope and President Macron jointly announced today that the gothic edifice would be...
Trump to celebrate Father’s Day by bathing in the tears of abducted child immigrants
US President Donald Trump is to celebrate his second Father's Day in the White House by having a bath filled with the tears of...
Remain campaigners thwarted by import shortage of “I Told You So”s
Anti-Brexit campaigners are suffering from a shortage of "I Told You So"s, as "Project Fear" rapidly swings into "Operation I Told You So", as...
Screw Yemeni kids we make loads of money selling smart bombs to the Saudis...
It's absolutely fine that the UK supplies Saudi Arabia with the weapons that they are using to murder Yemeni children, Theresa May has told...
England ready for Adelaide Ashes Test
Ahead of the second Ashes Test which has just started in Adelaide, England captain Joe Root sought to defuse the simmering tension between the...
White House desperately concealing news of Twitter character increase from Trump
The twittersphere is in overdrive this morning with millions of users tweeting out their hope that the White House is able to conceal the...
Paul Nuttall admits to FBI he passed US nuclear secrets to Russia
Paul Nuttall has sensationally admitted to the FBI that he passed US military secrets to Russia.
In a statement to the FBI Mr Nuttall admitted delivering...
Racism cured after white people put black face on their social media accounts
We are pleased to report that racial prejudice worldwide has been solved by white people blacking up their social media accounts. From your mum's...
Thousands of Americans in hospital after attempting microwave selfies…
Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway’s assertion that microwaves can ‘turn into cameras’ has led to thousands of Americans winding up in hospital after putting their...
Outrage in Rochdale as taxi drivers no longer legally required to speak English
Rochdale residents will have to scrub up their language skills because as of Friday taxi drivers in the city are no longer legally required...
Theresa May admits using ‘BREXOMATHICS’ to calculate number of overstaying foreign students
"It's so simple, you take a real number and keep doubling it until everyone's eyes light up," explained May pointing out that it worked...
Germany to face sanctions for failing to help US during D-Day landings
Donald Trump has today announced a huge package of far reaching sanctions against Germany after discovering that Germany failed to help the US during...
Trump announces plan for sea wall to keep out foreign storms
Donald Trump has unveiled his latest scheme to “make America great again” - a huge wall along the entire coast to keep out hurricanes,...
US celebrates after number of days so far this year overtakes number of mass...
Americans across America are celebrating the fact that for the first time since the invention of calendars there have been more days in the...
Oh for F**k’s sake – say world leaders following Trump nomination
Leaders around the world let out a simultaneous sigh of despair last night as the Republican Party confirmed Donald Trump's presidential nomination.
In yet another...
Terrorists rejoice at lower energy bills as Jihadis unplug TVs
Terrorists worldwide are saving money on their energy bills as millions of Jihadis unplug their Samsung smart TVs from mains sockets.
The move comes after...
