Britain To Close Controversial Island Refugee Centre
Britain's oldest island refugee centre, Australia, is to be closed following reports of inhumane conditions and bonkers management.
The centre, set up in 1770, has...
Beekeeper stung to death after Danish police force her to remove veil
Denmark was in shock today after a Danish beekeeper was stung to death in a tragic apiculture accident in Denmark.
The news comes just days...
Pope meets Bono to demand he removes U2’s albums from his iTunes account
Pope Francis is to have a private audience with Bono to demand to know how to delete U2's latest album from his iTunes library.
According...
Racism cured after white people put black face on their social media accounts
We are pleased to report that racial prejudice worldwide has been solved by white people blacking up their social media accounts. From your mum's...
Car bombs not as bad as nicking stationery insists Martin ‘I’m a politician’ McGuiness
Former number three in the Irish presidential election Seamus Martin Pointa McGuinness has resigned from his position as Deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland.
The...
Corbyn finally condemns Chavez ‘He didn’t shoot enough rich people, happy now?’
In a statement from the Department of People's Truth, Jeremy Corbyn "has not bowed to pressure of the Western lapdog media but instead led...
Statue Of Liberty To Be Deported
America's creepiest uncle, State Department Obergruppenführer Steve 'Steve-O' Bannon confirmed today that steps were being taken to deport 'dangerous subversive' the Statue of Liberty.
"Ms...
“We’re looking forward to getting out” say nuclear weapons.
Nuclear weapons all over the world are today looking forward to their upcoming launch as an opportunity to stretch their legs.
With launch codes about...
Trump claims their is good people on both sides of grammar nazi debate
President Trump has weighed into the grammer nazi debate by claiming their is good people on both sides.
Discussions and arguments about correct use of...
Trump disappointed Agrabah is nothing like it is in the movie
The POTUS sent a series of Tweets earlier about his visit to Saudi Arabia, after securing a $110 billion arms deal.
The leader of the notoriously...
ISIS Second In Command Killed Again
The Daily Express has reported for the eighth time this month the death of so called Islamic State's second in command.
"He was killed by...
North Korea fury after Trump sends dick pic following Kim Kardashian meeting
North Korean media has reacted angrily after Donald Trump allegedly sent Kim Jong Un a photo of his genitalia.
Spokesman for North Korea, Ban-Ki-Han-Ki said,...
North Korea won’t be happy until someone else tests a nuclear warhead on their...
North Korea state media shouted the revelation this morning that Kim Jong-un won’t be happy until someone else tests a nuclear warhead on North...
Hammond to Create National Hoard
In advance of Brexit negotiations Phillip Hammond is to bury all of the country's wealth in a hole in the ground.
The hole, believed to...
ISIS claim responsibility for Windows 10 update
ISIS have released a statement taking responsibility for the latest Windows 10 update.
The religious group released a statement today saying, "The recent major update of...
God outs Gay Gay-Hate preacher with biblical punitive flood
Pastor Tony Perkins, President of the Family Research Council and a particularly lamentable human being, has been hoist by his own petard and "outed"...
