Trump supporter accidentally extinguishes trainers with own tears

"Wild" Bill Board, an American protesting at an advert for trainers was unable to get his shoes to burn today because the tears he was crying kept putting them out. Bill, a man who spends an...
Theresa May

May gives Nigerian Prince sort code, account number and PIN in trade negotiations

Theresa May has given her sort code, pin number and bank account number to a Nigerian Prince she's met whilst negotiating trade. The exchange came earlier today when May met Prince Muttasim Billah Gadaffi in...
Bono

Pope meets Bono to demand he removes U2’s albums from his iTunes account

Pope Francis is to have a private audience with Bono to demand to know how to delete U2's latest album from his iTunes library. According to a Vatican official, "The Holy Father was preparing the...

Head of worlds largest global paedophile network spotted in Dublin

The leader of a global paedophile network has arrived in Ireland as he begins touring the country today. Pope Francis flew into Dublin Airport and was met by supporters who had queued for several hours to...

Beekeeper stung to death after Danish police force her to remove veil

Denmark was in shock today after a Danish beekeeper was stung to death in a tragic apiculture accident in Denmark. The news comes just days after Marie Abeille was arrested by the Secret Police for...
Jeremy Hunt China

You lot all look the same to me, Jeremy Hunt tells wife and Chinese...

The UK's new foreign secretary Jeremy Hunt admitted yesterday that he can't tell his wife apart from the Chinese Foreign Minister because they both have those eyes that "look a bit funny." Mr Hunt made...
Trump Golf Twitter

FBI reveals to Trump evidence of a golf course at Chernobyl

The FBI have allegedly revealed the location of a secret golf course in Chernobyl to Donald Trump today. One FBI spokesman said, "POTATUS was on Twitter saying that the FBI were a bunch of syphilitic...

Trump abandons plans to build wall, resolves to plant Leylandii hedge on Mexican border

Donald Trump has announced that he's no longer going to demand money to build a wall at the border between the United States and Mexico. Instead, he intends to spend a couple of grand...
Trump

Trump says he misspoke when he said Stalin was an excellent strong leader

Donald Trump has said that he misspoke when he described Joseph Stalin as an excellent strong leader. Trump was replying to reporters who sought clarification after Russian sources said Trump had compared Putin favorably to...
AR-15

Americans forced to drink milkshakes through AR-15 assault rifles after plastic straw ban hits...

The unjust plastic straw ban threatens the American way of life, but citizens are finding an innovative way to beat the ban.   Consuming tens of thousands of calories a day is as American as a...

Donald Trump thrilled Belfast is throwing a parade for him

Donald Trump has taken time out of his busy schedule to tell reporters that he is thrilled that the people of Belfast have held a march in his honour today. Speaking to the press Trump...

German families to heat homes using hot air from Donald Trump

German families are to use the hot air that emanates from Donald Trump to heat their homes. The news was broken by the German Government this afternoon following a successful meeting where POTATUS offered to...

UKIP leader calls for Theresa May to resign

UKIP's leader, Vladimir Putin has called on Theresa May to call a General Election to ensure a Government is elected that will push Brexit through. The President of the United States took time out from...

For 50p a day you can sponsor an American Border Child

New Charity is hoping to help the children Donald Trump demanded to be locked up at the US border.  A new charity has been started to help the child hostages at the US border. The...
Cave Diver

Rescue divers call off search for viable Customs Union Plan

Rescue divers searching for a viable plan for a customs union palatable to lunatic backbench MPs have finally called off the search. Having plumbed the depths of some of the deepest caves in Europe and...
Putin Appraisal

President of The United States looking forward to meeting Donald Trump

Russian officials have confirmed that Vladimir Putin is looking forward to meeting Donald Trump in Helsinki next month. One told us, "The President is looking forward to the meeting next month." It's understood that President Putin intends...

Follow us

56,830FansLike
18,423FollowersFollow
23,122FollowersFollow

Popular Posts