God refuses to put out Notre Dame fire until he gets 100,000 likes =...

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The 14th century cathedral has already lost one of its spires and a large section of roof in the blaze after a fire broke out around 18:00 this evening. Hundreds of thousands of Catholics around...

Notre Dame Cathedral fire caused by unattended Chip pan in bell tower

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Parisian fire fighters are currently battling a roaring fire at the Notre Dame cathedral. The fire has caused one of the medieval spires and a large section of the gothic roof to collapse. Early reports suggest...
Trump Air Force one

Former military cadet fulfils lifelong ambition to visit Vietnam despite agonisingly debilitating bonespurs

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A former military cadet has finally fulfilled his dream to visit Vietnam despite suffering from debilitating bonespurs. The man, now in his seventies, is said to have been gutted...
Calendar

Latest theory on the structure of the Gregorian calendar revealed.

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Following alleged intense research on the part of our Ace reporter, The Rochdale Herald is able to reveal the latest acadamic theory surrounding the construction of Gregorian Calendar. Professor Archimest Binge, of the Rochdale University,...

Trump’s Wall to be Made Out of Thoughts and Prayers

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The latest twist in the ongoing farcical shitshow that is the US President's attempt to build an completely pointless wall simply because he said he would, in order to trick idiots into voting for...
White House Christmas

Children excited it’s only three US defence secretaries until Christmas

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Children all across America are giddy with excitement that it is now officially only three US defence secretaries until Christmas morning. The news comes after the last adult in the White House, General Jim Mattis,...

Trump credited with restoring American faith in Bush

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Donald Trump has been given credit for restoring America's faith in Bush. One Bush expert told us, "10 years ago American faith in Bush was at an all time low. It was a dramatic loss....

Trump tells California to use prostitute piss to put fires out

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POTATUS has offered to use Government money to harvest the piss of some Russian prostitutes to douse the fires in California. A spokesman said, "POTATUS decidedly that he needed to do something practical to alleviate...

Trump tells California, Cut down all the trees to prevent future forest fires

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POTATUS has announced that if all the trees in California were cut down then there would be no forest fires. POTATUS got the idea after discovering that there are no forest fires in Antartica. In...
Donald Trump

Trump attends Paris Armistice commemoration after hearing there is a golf course nearby

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POTATUS has attended an Armistice commemoration in Paris a day after demonstrating the sort of spirit that has earned him the nickname, Cadet Bone Spurs. POTATUS failed to attend a commemoration for US war dead...
Donald Trump

Trump tells CNN all future press conferences will be held in Saudi Embassy

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POTATUS has announced that he will begin to give CNN press conferences in Saudi Embassies from now on. The announcement comes as his administration complained that reporters ask too many hard questions and rarely ask...

Trump hails record amount of pussy to grab in the House of Representatives

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Donald Trump has spoken of how great it is that there's now so much pussy to grab when he next visits the House of Representatives. Tweeting, POTATUS said, "Is it any coincidence that under this...

Pakistani woman sentenced to death for insulting Harry Potter

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A woman in Pakistan has been sentenced to death for insulting the fictional character, Harry Potter. The woman's lawyer told us, "This woman deeply insulted Harry Potter whilst at a neighbours house. She said that Hufflepuff was...

If All the Jews had died in the Holocaust then Saturday’s massacre wouldn’t have...

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POTATUS, Donald Trump attended a memorial for the victims of the Tree of Life Synagogue shooting yesterday.   After publicly stating that people should come together to heal division POTATUS met survivors and victims of the dead...
Donald Trump

Worst thing to happen in America today was my hair got wet, Trump tells...

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The actual real life president of the United States of America told the Future Farmers of America Convention that the worst thing to happen in America yesterday was his hair got a bit wet. Dystopian...
Donald Trump Wig

Saudi Arabia’s handling of Khashoggi killing worst cover up ever, says completely bald man

A completely bald man who is convinced everybody thinks he has a full head of hair has criticised Saudi Arabia's handling of the killing of journalist Jamal Khashoggi, saying authorities undertook the "worst cover-up...

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