We’re going to build a wall and America is going to pay for it...
There was outrage across the United States this afternoon after the President of Mexico said "fuck this shit" and vowed to close the border...
Outrage in Rochdale as taxi drivers no longer legally required to speak English
Rochdale residents will have to scrub up their language skills because as of Friday taxi drivers in the city are no longer legally required...
Everybody is an expert all of a sudden, complains Norn Iron
Unusual moment of unity sweeps province.
“Yous, yous only gives a shite if it affects yous,” a spokeswoman said today. “Unless something happens on the...
Saying racists shouldn’t say racist things is racist against racists, Trump tells Democrats
Donald Trump has taken Twitter to defend the rights of racists across America to say and do really racist things.
"Racists are a minority just...
Mysterious fanged sea creature that washed up on Texas beach identified as Steve Bannon
The large fanged, faceless sea creature that washed up on a southeastern Texas beach following Hurricane Harvey has finally been identified.
The identity of the...
Pornhub to hide videos between pages of print for 24hrs in tribute to Hefner
Online mega porn hub, Pornhub, has announced it will hide every video on its webpage between pages of unnecessary print journalism for twenty four...
Tony Montana to become new White House communications director
Tony Montana is set to become White House communications director following the sacking of Anthony Scaramucci today.
Mr Montana was last seen toting M16A1 guns...
Rock Scaramucci crawled out from under refuses to take him back
Having been unceremoniously sacked as President Trump's director of communications after only ten days and divorced by his wife, Anthony Scaramucci has now suffered...
Macron wants UK to give him head in return for Bayeux tapestry
Monarchists were today outraged by the suggestion by Emmanuel Macron, President of France, that the severed heads of the British royal family would be...
President Trump outlaws Donald Trump in white supremacists condemnation order
American race relations looked to be on the upturn today after President Donald Trump responded to the calls from Congress to condemn white supremacists...
RSPCA desperately seeking forever homes for 45 bunnies rescued from ‘Bunny Farm’ in California
A RSPCA spokesman in Nantwich is urgently looking for 45 'new residents rescued from what he described as 'the biggest bunny farm they had...
Trump Spokesman Revealed As Black Knight
The Herald can exclusively reveal today that the Trump campaign aide, Michael Cohen, is the mysterious Black Knight.
The secretive warrior and guard to stuff...
Trump awards Trump Imaginary Medal of Honor for imaginary heroics
President of the actually terrific US, Donald Trump, is to reward his own bravery with a special medal, the Purple Cheeseburger, after his courage...
President of corrupt shithole country to meet President of Nigeria Muhammadu Buhari
Nigerian President Muhammadu Buhari will become the first leader from sub-Saharan Africa to be received by the President of the corrupt North American tin...
Condoms are a commie liberal plot to give everybody AIDS according to Trump VP
Revelations of comments made by Donald Trump's running mate, the 'Caucasian Executioner of Indiana', Mike Pence show that Governor Pence might not know how...
Singing Ringing Tree to be felled for post-Brexit firewood
Britain's exit from the European Union is set to spell the end for some of the country's best loved children's TV programmes, it was...
