America

Residents of Houston were bemused by an offer from pop star Beyonce offering help for those affected by the recent flooding. “We asked for buoyancy aids so that we could keep ourselves and our pets...

Donald Trump has unveiled his latest scheme to “make America great again” - a huge wall along the entire coast to keep out hurricanes, or “foreign storms” as he put it. “All this foreign air...

Donald Trump has announced he intends to visit areas of Texas affected by flooding just as soon as the cleaning operation on Texan golf courses is complete. In a tweet Trump said, "Wow. Just had confirmation...

An ark has been spotted in Texas picking up a group of homosexuals who caused all the flooding there. The findings have come as a suprise to scientists as it seems to confirm the Silvester...

Stephen King took to twitter today to reveal a juicy nugget regarding his next movie project, ’Idiot’, a sequel to ‘It’, will feature a perma-tanned clown with a combover. The orange skinned clown has been...

In an attempt to win back votes from the orange-painted tweeting shitangutan, the Democrats have turned to Hurricane Harvey to stand as their candidate for 2020. Harvey, which is expected to tear across Texas causing...

The matter of immigration has often been a contentious issue within politics, particularly American politics of late. During the campaign trail, Donald Trump promised certain measures would be put in place to reduce the...

Donald Trump's hair is partly fake, and the fake part is not even human hair, but alpaca, scientists working for NASA's Astronomical spectroscopy division announced Friday. The scientists, who normally analyse light emitted by distant...

It was announced today via Twitter that President Trump will now wear eclipse glasses when viewing the news in order to protect his thin skin. The modification to the President’s usual procedure of pacing back...

The producers of Rambo 3 are allegedly suing Donald Trump for copyright infringements based on his Afghanistan strategy. Mr Trump was initially very cold on keeping the US in Afghanistan but, after seeing pictures of...

The world's favourite orange leader has been ranting about his pet hate once again. The issue of so-called “Fake news” is now well within the public consciousness, primarily thanks to the man who looks...

Having been pussy-whipped by North Korea in the Pacific, US president Donald Trump has signalled his readiness to turn his military attention to Afganyst Agfhanist Afgannyst...the Taliban. Speaking to the Rochdale Herald, White House Press...

Donald Trump had been criticised by many for not denouncing the actions of the right-wing protests in Charlottesville. Then he declared there were people to blame on both sides, presumably the woman damaging the...

The rising tensions in America have led to violent clashes in the streets of late, which has caused the tragic loss of life. The “Alt-right” hate-mongers and terrorists are being supported by none other...

“Bannon great American. Cant find greater. So great. Greater than Kennedy. Kennedy loser. Got shot. Only losers get shot. Couldnt even drive own car. Bannon deserve medal for participation at White Hoise! Turned up every day even when I didn't!”

Steve Bannon has announced that he'll now have more time to be with his prejudices following his sacking by mutual consent earlier today. A White House communications officer said, "There was prejudice on both sides...