Sunshine

Town centres full of fat topless pricks for some reason

0
Town centres are chock full of topless, pasty white fat pricks for some reason according to sources. For some reason thousands upon thousands of fat...

Prince Charles admits years of talking to vegetables perfect preparation for Trump visit

0
Prince Charles has confirmed that years of talking to vegetables at Highgrove are the perfect preparation for meeting Donald Trump today. There's been a...

Riot Police and Protestors Come Together to Help Fat Man out of Jeans

10
There were touching scenes at The Moderates against Moderation riot in the car park outside Rochdale's now infamous Waitrose as police and rioters came...

MP claims he was researching book on whether breasts make noises like clown horns

0
Leading MP Pete Who speaks out after being named in the Dirty Dossier. The Member of Parliament for Goveshire West, Pete Who, has given a...

Only one more sleep until Dads start Christmas shopping

0
Dads are said to be giddy with excitement at the news that it's only one more sleep until they can start their Christmas shopping. Dads...
Southern Rail

After success with beavers in Scotland, trains to be reintroduced in South of England

16
Following the success of the reintroduction of beavers to Scotland, experts are planning to repeat the experiment with the rare and previously thought extinct...
Happy Family

Couples who call each other Mummy and Daddy told to pack it the f*ck...

0
Couples who call each other Mummy and Daddy have been told by the authorities to pack it the fuck in or be faced with...

Kevin the Carrot beheaded by Muslims.

0
Popular TV carrot Kevin was among a bag of carrots snatched from the Oldham branch of Aldi by ruthless Muslim gang the 'Iqbal family'. The...

Stevie Wonder just chooses to be blind, says Kanye West

Batshit crazy US rapper Kanye West has said that the Stevie Wonder’s blindness may be a “choice.”
David Davis

David Davis organises piss up in brewery on wrong day

0
The Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union reportedly organised a smashing piss up in a brewery to celebrate New Year's Eve on...

Scottish man DIES after drinking a glass of WATER

0
The first fatality caused by the price increase on alcohol in Scotland was announced this morning. Ian McCreedy aged 42 died at his local...
Riot

Three dead on final day of Poundworld closing down sale

0
Questions are being raised following the trampling of three shoppers in riots on the final day of opening of Poundworld at Sheffield Heeley Retail...

Wanker punches Dickhead. Dickhead in serious condition

2
News is emerging from Belgium today that a wanker has punched a dickhead and the dickhead is in a serious condition with a bleed on the brain.
Traffic

Workman spotted doing some work on the £15BN M62 Roadworks

0
The bloke who is doing all the work on the £15BN M62 road improvement scheme has been spotted on site for the first time...
Audi

Sixty grand on four wheel drive for one off drive to work in snow...

0
A man has confirmed that his choice of Audi Quattro was justified by the recent inclement weather. Chris Lupton spent most of the morning in...

Brexit Party MEPs accidentally turn to face Mecca during national anthem

0
Brexit Party MEPs have apologised to their racists after accidentally turning to face Mecca as the European Parliament returned. "It was an honest mistake and...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts