Clubbing

Couple looking forward to annual tedious night out, in dreadful nightclub with hideous people

0
A middle aged Rochdale couple are reportedly giddy with excitement about their annual tedious night out in a horrible club with hideous people  tonight. Barbara...

Thousands of Leave voters dead after do not drink labels removed from bottles of...

0
Several hundred thousand leave voters have died from drinking bleach in the last few days after labels, required under EU health and safety rules,...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn branded anti-Semitic after celebrating crucifixion of Jewish man

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Jeremy Corbyn has been forced to deny further allegations of anti-Semitism after being spotted celebrating the crucifixion of a Jewish man. The Jewish man in...

World in shock after professional boxer wins boxing match against amateur boxer

45
The sporting world is in disarray this morning after an unbeaten professional boxer won a boxing match against a bloke who hadn't had a...

Trump rally cancels book burning as supporters have no books to burn

12
Plans for an official book burning at a Trump rally in Bumshart California had to be scrapped yesterday after it emerged Trump supporters in...

OUTRAGE as Middle Eastern immigrant cast as Mary in school nativity play

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A Rochdale primary school has come under fire from parents for casting a 9 year old Palestinian immigrant as the virgin Mary in the...
Ladder

Trump’s view on border wall evolves after learning the word ‘ladder’

8
Donald Trump has sensationally dropped his controversial border wall plan, a key election promise, after seeing one of his Mexican labourers use a ladder for the first time.
Ann Widdecombe

Anne Widdecombe symbolically frees her slave

0
Following her first speech in the European Parliament, we have avoided the term 'maiden speech' as all her speeches are maiden, Anne Widdecombe has...

Wales celebrates after spectacular 2016 Darwin Award victory

15
The population of Wales has been awarded a collective 2016 Darwin Award for its staggering act of self immolation in last year's referendum on...

UKIP appoint woman who put that cat in wheelie bin as advisor on cat...

0
The collection of gammon faced halfwits known as the UK Independence party has appointed the internationally famous cat abuser Mary Bale as an advisor...

Absolute arsehole Winnie Mandela dies aged 81

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An absolute arsehole has died in South Africa aged 81.
Dog covered in fox shit

If I’d wanted to smell of shampoo I wouldn’t have rolled in fox shit...

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A Labrador Retriever from Rochdale was feeling aggrieved today after her owner callously pulled rank over her choice of fragrance. Luna Goodgirl, aged 3, told...
Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab warns against travel to Iran and other Scandinavian countries

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The foreign secretary Dominic Raab has warned British nationals not to travel to Iran or any other Scandinavian countries following last week's US airstrikes...
Daily Mail Readers

Are we the baddies ask Daily Mail readers

21
A Rochdale couple have been telling the Herald how they fear they may now be the baddies. Martin and Drusilla Williams regularly buy the Daily...

UK’s youngest Brexit voter has died aged seventy three

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We met in a small cafe in Westminster. A reporter for the Rochdale Herald and Britain's youngest Brexit supporter. Shining another glass to make...
Doctor Who

Calls for end to austerity as BBC reveal they can only afford female to...

53
Cost cutting at state broadcaster curtails roles for male actors. The BBC has responded to continuing pressure from central government to reduce costs by reducing...

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