SHOCK as England fans vote 52 to 48 to LEAVE the World Cup
There is widespread shock around England today after the English voting public voted 52% to 48% for the England football team to leave the...
Americans horrified to learn what the word ‘amendment’ means
As hillbillies, rednecks and evangelical Christian right wing crackpots continue to celebrate the last thrashings of America's hold on reality with their ongoing support...
Man with solid gold living room tells government “I don’t pay tax because you...
A man who owns a solid gold living room reportedly told one hundred million of his closest friends that he doesn't pay Tax in...
Sir Bruce Forsyth declared fit for work by ATOS
British television legend Sir Bruce Forsyth has died at the age of 89 of a chest infection.
Bruce was well known for his dancing and...
Tony Montana to become new White House communications director
Tony Montana is set to become White House communications director following the sacking of Anthony Scaramucci today.
Mr Montana was last seen toting M16A1 guns...
Playboy Bunnies surprised to find Hugh Hefner stiffer than usual
Notorious Bachelor and soft core pornographer Hugh Hefner was pronounced dead this morning at his home, the Playboy Mansion, Los Angeles.
Early reports indicate that...
Leave means Leave says Boris Johnson’s Girlfriend
Boris Johnson's girlfriend has apparently told a befuddled Boris Johnson that leave means leave during a heated row at her flat in the early...
Cute dog is a savage little shit
A survey of very cute little dogs has discovered that almost 99.9% of them are in fact savage little bastards.
The survey which was carried...
Probably not as many paedophiles on New Year’s honours list as usual, say Buckingham...
Buckingham Palace has confirmed today that there was probably an unusually small number of paedophiles on this year's New Year's Honours list.
"It's been a...
Josef Fritzl gets Knighthood in New Years honours
Austrian incest enthusiast, Josef Fritzl has been awarded a Knighthood in the New Years honours list. The list, released today recognises a range of...
Workman spotted doing some work on the £15BN M62 Roadworks
The bloke who is doing all the work on the £15BN M62 road improvement scheme has been spotted on site for the first time...
Trump rally cancels book burning as supporters have no books to burn
Plans for an official book burning at a Trump rally in Bumshart California had to be scrapped yesterday after it emerged Trump supporters in...
Lord Sugar to humiliate 18 tossers in annual quest to find nation’s biggest twat
Hairy scrotum faced narcissist and entrepreneur, Lord Sugar, has launched his annual challange to find the UK's biggest arsehole after himself.
The one time Klingon...
Chinese space station crashes into Burnley causing £12-50 worth of damage
The Tiangong-1 Chinese space station that has been out of control since 2016 finally crashed down to Earth in the early hours of Monday...
US celebrates after number of days so far this year overtakes number of mass...
Americans across America are celebrating the fact that for the first time since the invention of calendars there have been more days in the...
College Professor assaults Trump supporter
A college professor in the US has come under fire from leading figures in the Republican Party after he allegedly assaulted a number of...
