14.8 C
Rochdale, UK
Theresa may

Deselecting MPs implicated in electoral fraud before election “Hadn’t occurred to me” claims PM

The Prime Minister claims the possible loss of up to twenty MPs from a working majority of seventeen in the run-up to Brexit is “absolutely not a factor” in her decision to circumvent the...
Theresa may

Winning a general election easier than taking benefits from orphans says woman who took...

Like the irritating eager new guy at work, dark Sith Lord and unelected PM, Theresa May, announced a snap general election 15 minutes before she was supposed to at 11:00am, pissing everyone right off. Surrounded...

Corbyn tells press conference if you strike me down I will become more powerful...

Following Theresa May's unsurprising announcement of a snap general election, Jeremy Corbyn has made a press statement. Stood in front of a dozen media representatives he said; "We at the Labour party are celebrating this news; half of...

Theresa May to Naked Mud Wrestle Nicola Sturgeon for the Right to Trigger Brexit

British Prime Minister Theresa May is to mud wrestle naked with Scottish nationalist leader Nicola Sturgeon for the right to trigger article 50 to take the United Kingdom out the European Union. Sources close to the prime...
Furous Court

Man who voted for supremacy of British court furious about supremacy of British court

Brexit Campaigner Michael Gove was today looking for a new Court to be in charge of British Sovereignty as the one we have “seems to be no better than the last bunch”

Susan Boyle to sing Dead Kennedys ‘Too Drunk To F*ck’ at Trump Inauguration

In a last ditch attempt to find a "celebrity" to perform at Trump's Inauguration Scottish songstress and Britain's Got Talent sensation Susan Boyle (aka 'The Hairy Cornflake') has been approached by the president-soon-to-be's office...

Party that chose most hated candidate in history wondering how it lost

The Democratic Party is today asking “How could this happen?” after they fielded the most hated politician in American history to be their candidate. “We honestly thought that Hillary- who’s George Herbert Bush but with...
Trudeau

Trudeau Promises Canadian Citizens A Wall. ‘U.S. Will Pay’

Canadian Premier Justin Trudeau reacted to the news of Donald Trump's election as US President by announcing plans for a wall to be built along the US/Canadian border.  "While we are the most hospitable of...
Paramedics transporting Nigel Farage to the ambulance

Farage in critical condition after fall at a supporters meeting

Nigel Farage is in hospital today after coming to the defence of ludicrously abhorrent comments made about women by Donald Trump.

Christmas being killed off by immigration

An in-depth study by Rochdale Community University has found that, due to immigration, by the year 2100 core British traditions such as Christmas may be no more. The festival celebrating the birth of a middle-eastern...
Donald Trump & Jermey Kyle

Donald Trump to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show

Jeremy Kyle was said to be jubilant this morning after securing an exclusive appearance by Donald Trump. The show which is titled "Five children by Three Women" will almost certainly feature Donald Trump taking a...

Hundreds feared dead in Australian irony explosion

In an unprecedented change of heart, the adviser who recommended to ex-Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, that she resume offshore processing, has now declared it should be abandoned.  Paris Aristotle, ironically sharing the name as the...

Sex Workers to sue Daily Mail for comparing them to Melania Trump

Millions of sex workers are suing right wing rag, The Daily Mail, after they referred to Melania Trump as a “former sex worker” in an article about her immigration status. “Listen, despite us providing an...

Trump in Mexican standoff

Donald Trump today paid a flying visit to Mexico for talks with President Pena Nieto.  Amongst his entourage was his new Foreign Policy adviser Jeremy Clarkson, hired in line with Trump's current policy of comedy...

Whole UK Economy resting on single PPI claim

After the referendum on leaving the EU the treasury scrambled quickly to try and formulate a plan.  "No one actually thought the plebs would defy us and screw the country like that so naturally we...

Picture yourself in their shoes

A picture of Omran Daqneesh, the five year old boy who was pulled from the rubble that used to be his home in Aleppo, Syria yesterday, has hit the news media by storm and...

Follow_on_AppleNews_wht_badge_RGB_US-UK

Popular Posts