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Rochdale, UK

Hampstead Heath Glory Holes to close in respect for George Michael

Regular visitors to Hampsted Heath have been informed all glory holes will be closed from tomorrow as a mark of respect to George Michael. A mass of floral tribute has already began to appear outside...
Karen Danczuk Topless

Herald Reporter in KAREN DANCZUK TOPLESS Clickbait Scandal

Following the implementation of new software allowing users to see just what exactly brings visitors to their website based on Googled search terms, a local Herald reporter has shamefully and cynically exploited the system by...
pippa

Pippa Middleton topless photos break internet

Still recovering from the profound damage caused by that picture of Kim Kardashian's arse a while back, the Interweb was dealt yet another bitter blow last night; local internet subscribers were left floundering in...

Prince Charles spotted throne shopping in Harrods

The big eared flower whisperer was spotted earlier today looking at thrones and sceptres in the London department store it has been reported. "He was like a big kid." Said onlooker Cecil B. Mortadellow "Sitting on...
Pippa Middleton smiling

Pippa Middleton iCloud Hack Confirms “Will married the right sister”

Following photos released from the hack of Pippa Middleton's i-Cloud account, Prince William's mates have told him "you definitely married the right one mate!" There had been confusion following his wedding day when friends asked...
Michael McIntyre

Comic Relief to be just Michael McIntyre and a bunch of Russells in future

The BBC announced today that all future Comic Relief events will simply be Michael McIntyre and people called Russell running around and doing observational routines. Deputy Director General Sir Vincent Cost said that, as they...
Lenny Henry

Premier Inn to change all the locks tonight

Every Premier Inn in the country is changing their locks tonight, whilst Lenny Henry hosts Red Nose Day on the BBC. Mr. Henry was the face of Premier Inn for several years, until a loop...

Brian Cox Announced As New President Of Flat Earth Society

Both the scientific and pseudo-scientific communities express a modicum of shock as tousle-haired synth-pop supremo and thinking housewives favourite Professor Brian Cox is sworn in as the new president of Flat Earth Society. Establishment figureheads...

Colombia fears double dip recession following death of Tara Palmer-Tomkinson

Government officials in Colombia have issued warnings of a double dip recession following the death of former "it girl" Tara Palmer-Tomkinson. Former socialite and darling of the tabloids Palmer-Tomkinson was found dead in her...
Rosie and Jim

Rosie and Jim Seized in Immigration Raid

News is emerging that 1990’s TV stars Rosie and Jim have been arrested and are now facing deportment following the repeal of the European Convention on Human Rights. The TV stars, real names Bratislav...

Creator of 2016 Sgt Pepper ‘dead celeb’ picture commits suicide due to repetitive strain...

The unknown Twitter user, who created the updated iconic album cover to incorporate all the great and good 2016 has taken from us, reportedly ended his life just moments after news broke of Carrie...

The Beckhams ditch L.A for glorious Rochdale

Today the Herald can exclusively reveal the jaw dropping news that the world's biggest star, glamour model, fashion icon, tireless charity worker and one of the finest footballers of his generation David Beckham (and...

Melania Trump reveals her favourite iPod Playlist

In an exclusive interview with The Rochdale Herald the former Eastern European 'model' and wife of President Elect Donald Trump revealed her favourite iPod playlist.
Fauxtrage

Fauxtrage as Woman Responds Rationally to Death of Celebrity

A woman has rationally told a few friends, in person and not on social media, that she was sorry to hear about the death of a famous film star.
Freddie Mercury and Brian May

Britain First drop ‘We Will Rock You’ theme on learning Freddie Mercury’s Indian heritage

In a documentary about the life and death of Freddie Mercury, which recently aired on the biffer TV network, Channel 5, it was pointed out that the legendary Queen frontman, whose birth name was Farrokh...

Is Bradley Wiggins the new Lance Armstrong?

Bradley Wiggins has come under scrutiny this week after it was revealed he'd used performance enhancing drugs to "put him back on a level playing field" with other athletes not using performance enhancing drugs. It...

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