Physicist angry that with infinite universes, he got one with Trump in it
A failed physicist and lapsed university lecturer has lamented online about his inner anxieties.
Last man smart enough to figure out how to set clock on Microwave dies...
The last man intelligent enough to set the clock on the microwave to the correct time has reportedly died aged 74.
The man, an astrophysicist...
New Britain First leader Wayne Cummings apparently not a made up name
Wayne Cummings has beaten off stiff competition from brothers Wayne Kerr and Yiwen Kerr to slide into interim role as Bellend-in-Chief of the UK's...
Researchers reclassify idiocy as alt-intelligence
Gavin Chappie of Rochdale Community University claims to have made a discovery in the development of AI.
He told the Herald that his theory may...
Dolphins disappear across the globe as Trump Inauguration looms
Oceans across the globe are feeling decidedly odd today after the entire planet's population of porpoises and dolphins completely and utterly disappeared overnight.
"I really...
The only chemicals you can kills kids with are high explosives and white phosphorus,...
Following the outcry over the alleged chemical weapons attacks in Syria, the Pentagon have confirmed that the only legal chemicals you can use to...
Parents ask kids to surf net to find solution to spending too much time...
Fresh fears regarding the overuse of the internet by youngsters has emerged, with experts suggesting that it should be compared to fast food. The...
Rochdale scientists breed Christmas ‘turkberry’
Top food scientists say they are 'very close' to successfully breeding a turkey with a cranberry bush.
The new 'turkberry' hybrid bush-bird could be on...
Rochdale residents anger as DNA test reveals some are 60% potato
Rochdale residents have been angered by a DNA profiling study that showed that many weren't descendants of native Rochdaleans at all.
The study, run by...
Laptop finishes update in time for the weekend
An office worker in Rochdale is celebrating this evening after his laptop finally finished updating just in time for the weekend.
Dave Bloke from Milnrow...
GCHQ Samsung smart TV hack reveals threat to UK
WikiLeaks revelations that GCHQ has hacked into Samsung smart TV sets to turn them into listening devices has revealed some fascinating facts impacting on...
Climate change deniers blame solar panels for sucking all the light out of the...
Climate change deniers took to social media today to decry the damage being done by solar panels to the sun, which they blame for...
I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Hearse
The Rochdale Herald has learned that ITV plans to make drastic changes to the format of next year's 'I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of...
Supermassive black hole found at the heart of the Conservative Party
Scientists working at Rochdale university announced Monday that they have proved the existence of supermassive black hole at the heart of the Conservative Party.
"Imagine...
New VW Eco-Diesel Car Scraps Itself In Event Of Ecological Disaster
Volkswagen announced the launch date for the VW Plannett Fuckerr, their new eco-friendly diesel family saloon today, assuring customers that this is 'the most...
60 million Americans explore cryogenic freezing to escape Trump
With the ordeal of four years of President Trump looming over the horizon millions of Americans have applied to be cryogenically frozen for his term in...
