Sex worker and fruit picker tops post-Brexit career options

5
According to a press release from the Federated Institution of Associated School Careers Officers, the Brexit Plan simplifies future British employment opportunities to sex work...
Interrogation

Beatings will continue until morale improves says Tory Chief Whip

5
Tory Chief Whip, Francis Gavin Urquhart Williamson, has advised the parliamentary Conservative party during a closed meeting that the beatings will continue until morale...

Theresa May wins ‘Person Most Surprised Theresa May is Prime Minister’ Award seventh week...

0
Theresa May is said to be thrilled this morning to have won the all party "Person Most Surprised Theresa May is still Prime Minister...

Corbyn ‘sells out’ in Stoke

0
Leader of the Labour Party, Jeremy Corbyn (27), has finally sold out in Stoke. “Every single copy of my Big Issues has gone…”, said Corbyn....
corbyn

Labour manifesto to revolutionise politics by getting rid of the Labour party

0
The Labour Party has revealed a manifesto that will revolutionise British politics by getting rid of the Labour Party. Speaking to the Herald a spokesman...

New Tony Blair character in Cluedo, cannot be accused

12
Exciting news for fans of the classic board game Cluedo as a new character is to be introduced! That character is no other than former...
Kuenssberg

Twitter scientists confirm discovery of human parrot hybrid that only speaks Tory

21
The BBC’s most insightful political journalist has been discovered to be a species of parrot and awarded a delightful new name today by natural...

Labour conference advised “Don’t mention the Brexit, I mentioned it once but I think...

0
The Labour Party Conference in Brighton attendees have been advised not to mention the Brexit. They mentioned it once, but they think they got...

Brexit Britain won’t be like Mad Max. Mad Max can afford a car

0
Independent research carried out by a team of so-called "experts" has backed up a comment made by the Brexit Secretary today. David "What Am I...

Brexwhat? Say the Channel Islands

1
While the UK slowly goes into meltdown over leaving the EU the people of the Channel Islands are left scratching their heads wondering what...

Nuttall loses close personal seats in election disaster

0
Accident prone Paul Nuttall, leader of UKIP, faced fresh tragedy today after learning that all his ‘close personal seats’ were lost in an election...

Ramsay Bolton has been elected as the UK Independence Party’s new leader

27
The infamously violent former Warden of the North had the six others in competition for the leadership violently murdered at the UKIP autumn conference...
Boris Johnson

Brexit is actually really hard confirm millionaires who stand to inherit everything but brains

2
The Rochdale Herald has been briefed by a group of hardcore Brexit Conservative MPs who have confirmed that Brexit is actually really hard, even...

Brexiteer speaks of shock at discovering Britain is an island

0
Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab has been speaking of his discovery that Britain is an island today. Speaking to the media Mr Raaab said, "People have...

Trump says IKEA table he ordered arrived ‘pre-blown up’

0
President Donald J Trump is convinced that ‘something bigly bad’ has gone down in Sweden, after a dining table he ordered from IKEA arrived...

Slightly right leaning liberal centrist wishes everybody would just piss off

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Slightly right leaning liberal centrists declared publicly today that they wish everybody would just piss off. "I wish everybody would just piss off." Bob "Bobby"...

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