Politics

Unelected ghost of Thatcher, Theressa May, Prime Minister, announced the news earlier today; "The ballot will be simple" she said. "There's three boxes, soft, medium or hard." A full explanation of the options are available...

Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.

Theresa May spent the afternoon hand in hand with Arlene Foster and the rest of the Democratic Unionist Party skipping through Hyde park stopping only to smell the flowers. "It was a beautiful sight. It's...

In a massive boost for the right of The Labour Party, Owen Smith was spotted and recognised in a Tesco Express in Camden yesterday. Scum sucking traitorous coup plotting back stabbers rejoiced as the...

The Trump campaign appears to have taken an unprecedented new course today, with the release of a series of posters on social media. The posters appear to be a cheaply reworked copy of a previous...

Theresa May’s goal as Prime Minister is to ensure that people don’t remember David Cameron’s premiership as the worst in history, it has emerged. Speaking outside Number 10 Downing Street, press spokesman Arnold Robinson said,...

At 6.30 this morning, Britain hailed a taxi while attempting to wipe off the worst of last night's make-up, confident in the knowledge that the best possible Brexit deal had been secured. After the key...

Perennial mayoral election loser and political wet weekend 'Whispering' Zac Goldsmith resigned his seat in Richmond today after Theresa May announced plans to build a third runway in his back garden.

Stoke's election Returning Officer was forced to admit to an embarrassing mistake when he opened the wrong envelope and declared Labour had won. "I was handed an envelope by someone very junior and it had...

A recent survey of little shits proved that they know absolutely nothing about history, even though you can't prize Google from their tiny ungrateful claws. The group was made up of 25 13-16 year olds...

Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has solved the problem of NHS waiting times by making hospitals use the geological clock.  After coming under increasing pressure from everyone to sod off and die, Mr Hunt has today...

Using the withdrawal method requires a high level of self-control.  Even then, the withdrawal method isn't especially effective. On the face of it (which is a method recommended in some films), the withdrawal method is...

The hotly anticipated government White Paper on Brexit was released this week to an explosion of love juice from the editors of the Mail and Express, and much derision from everyone else. Here at the...

Theresa May's assertion that "Brexit means Brexit" has been met with a blow with a reply of "Democracy means Democracy" by the high court as a Judge did his job this morning. Since the 23rd...

President Donald Trump has spoken of his delight at how many people have come onto the streets of Hamburg to welcome him to Germany. The spontaneous outpouring of emotions have moved him in a way...

Kensington Council and owners of luxury apartments in the borough are distraught following the tragic fire at the Grenfell Tower Block last week. The council's initial idea of finding homes in the Outer Hebrides for...