Boris Johnson

Brexit is actually really hard confirm millionaires who stand to inherit everything but brains

2
The Rochdale Herald has been briefed by a group of hardcore Brexit Conservative MPs who have confirmed that Brexit is actually really hard, even...

Gove says public ‘sick and tired’ of so-called legal experts…

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Following the successful legal challenge to Brexit, Michael Gove has said that the public are "sick and tired" of so-called legal experts being high...

Simon Danczuk delighted to not be the sleaziest MP in a photo

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Disgraced pornography enthusiast, first class passenger, casual sext pest and Rochdale MP Simon 'Spanker' Danczuk is said to be "absolutely buzzing" that he's not...
Donald Trump

President Trump tells reporter to ‘lick my donkey balls’ and denies Donald Trump jnr...

3
Donald Trump mounted a sustained attack on the media during a fiery and at times chaotic news conference today, aggressively denying that Donald Trump...
Theresa May

May gives UK schools education 101

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Prime Minister Theresa May has heralded education reforms by telling UK schools that there will be "no return to the binary system of the...
Government

Government advises British Gas Customers to follow their example and burn bridges for fuel...

1
Most U.K. bridges are built or stone and iron. This will mean a boom to hardware retailers as Britons rush to stop up on pickaxes and wheelbarrows in order to carry their winter fuel allowance home.

Wolverhampton and Dudley will declare independence from the West Midlands ‘in a matter of...

114
Wolverhampton & Dudley will declare independence from the West Midlands in a matter of days, the leader of the autonomous region has told the...

Trump thrilled crowds at his German rallies bigger than Obama’s

5
President Donald Trump has spoken of his delight at how many people have come onto the streets of Hamburg to welcome him to Germany. The...

British automakers to make english sparkling wine for export to Japan after Brexit

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Boris Johnson, acting Prime Minister, has followed up Theresa May’s success in Japan by reassuring Japanese business lobbies British automakers can produce enough english...

David Davis hospitalised after failing to negotiate his way out of wet paper bag

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It is reported that every staff member on the exercise rapidly ripped a hole into the side of the giant, wet paper bag and emerged unscathed and rejuvenated, except David Davis, who seemed to struggle.

Blair and Farage to launch new political party together

1
The two political heavyweights have decided to 'put aside their differences for the future of the UK' they said in a press release. The party,...
Collection of London souvenirs

POTUS to “bring back some Brexit” as a souvenir from UK visit

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It has recently been announced that Donald Trump, the 45th President of the United States (POTUS) is to pay a state visit... Some chap who won...

Jeremy C*nt to sue BBC for repeatedly getting his name wrong

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MP Jeremy C*nt has accused the BBC of deliberately getting his name wrong during broadcasts, in order to publicly belittle him. The angry parliamentary member...
Pensioners

Remain camp optimistic about outcome of second referendum following forecasts of harsh winter

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Reports of a harsh winter allied with a fuel crisis has buoyed hopes of remaining part of the EC. Remain campaigner Frank Anwalther said "We...

Colonel Mustard blames the Housing Minister in the Cabinet Office with the Funding Cuts

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Colonel Mustard has alleged that the housing minister, in the cabinet office, with the funding cuts caused the Grenfell fire.   The Colonel, wearing a...

French PM Tells Boris “Freedom of Movement or Nothing” then Shuts Calais

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British holidaymakers and Brexit voters on their way to France had the opportunity to learn what the term "French border control" actually means over...

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