Politics

Following heavy criticism for having achieved sweet Fanny Adams in the numerous months since its creation, workers at the Department for Exiting the European Union were staggered this morning when they arrived at their...

The Assembly of Royal Veterinary Surgeons has issued guidance this evening on how to remove Michael Gove from British government. "He has to be gripped by the head with tweezers, as close to his cabinet...

Gareth Thundlestick from Scumsunk crescent, Rochdale, said he became politically active after ruining the suspension on his 1986 Ford Capri whilst negotiating a pothole too fast. "That was the final straw, it done it for me." He...

David Davis, the Secretary for Probably Exiting the European Union, has confirmed to the House of Lords Select Committee that he has definitely done the financial analysis that is due to be handed in...

Donald Trump has dismissed as fake news any suggestion that money that has appeared in his account is anything to do with collusion with the Russian Government. In a statement to James Comey Mr Trump...

According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously. Following continuous delays and an ever extending transition period, defiant Brexiters have taken...

Theresa May, the first unelected Prime Minister to have deliberately had her hair cut into the shape of a bell end has given an interview with the BBC in which she said precisely bugger...

With less than 3 weeks until the nation once again goes back to the polls, the Rochdale Herald has managed to obtain a leaked copy of the Conservative manifesto. The five page manifesto written entirely...

The Government has been urged to hold a referendum on euthanasia following research that showed that 52% of voters would support the introduction of euthanasia to the UK. A survey of Britons has found that...

Survivors of the Grenfell Tower disaster suffered a further shock last night when esteemed Tory minister Michael Gove was spotted in the vicinity. It's believed Gove was visiting friends in the area to make sure...

Serial resigner and privately educated millionaire ex banker, Nigel Farage, self proclaimed 'man of the people' was told to "get in the sea" by a passer by after the UKIP conference in Bournemouth yesterday. The...

It's one of the most famous stories, if not the most famous, in the English language. It's been made into countless films, plays and TV adaptions. But for Theresa May it has a fatal...

Embattled Tory MP Mark Garnier claims he was simply misunderstood by his Secretary over recent sex abuse allegations that have rocked Westminster. Barnier, a member of Parliament since 2010, said that he'd simply had...

The Brexit Party has finally unveiled their much anticipated election manifesto ahead of the EU elections.  To much fanfare the document has been revealed to be a copy of a Wetherspoon's lunch menu with both...

Prime Minister Theresa May has announced a new Ministry of Silly Bans, to be set up immediately. The job of the new department will be to intently copy stupid American ideas about what to ban. Its...

Conservative MP Stephen Phillips, who has represented Sleaford and North Hyekham, in Lincolnshire for 6 years has resigned. The word in Westminster is the barrister and recorder is unhappy with the way the government are...