Politics

Hate preacher Thomas “Tommy” Robinson (not his real name) has become terribly distraught at the presence of brown sauce in traditional English cafes. Eating a traditional Full English breakfast near the scene of...

Men's Health Magazine today announced its annual Top Ten Fittest Male Celebs list with actor, recently elected DUP MP and self proclaimed evil overlord Skeletor peaking the chart in the coveted #1 position.   Bodybuilder Skeletor grew...

Rescue workers hunting through the wreckage of Theresa May's career have called off the search for the remains of her credibility. They made the announcement at 1.30pm today as she stuffed £1.5Bn in used...

The owner of a Villa in Alicante is said to be furious after discovering the Danczuk's had been holidaying in his property. Simon Danczuk, God bothering pornography enthusiast, creative accountant, serial text pest and part-time...

Jeremy Corbyn has today promised to end the bloody civil war that has plagued Syria for the last 4 years with nothing but good intentions, a packet of Wagon Wheels and a pot of...

The popular sweets Skittles will today be banned from sale all across the world after news has emerged that just 3 of them contain lethal poison after US Presidential candidate Donald Trump uncovered the...

Liberal Democrat leader Tim Farron says he does not believe gay sex is a sin "as long as you don't push back". Mr Farron said that while political leaders should stay out of such matters...

The King of Yorkshire, His Majesty Geoffrey Boycott the first, has issued a decree allowing women to drive within the Sovereign state for the first time, to the joy of activists. Yorkshire had been...

The United States Federal Communications Commission (FCC) will be confiscating all copies of George Orwell’s novel 1984 and burning all copies of Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451, as part of the Trump administration’s request.  According to the administration, local...

Nigel Farage is in a critical condition this morning after taking a colossal irony overdose.

Arlene Foster has returned to Belfast after failing to agree a power sharing deal with Theresa May saying she won't negotiate with terrorists. The key sticking point seems have been surprising indeed. Unusually for a...

Brexiters have taken umbrage at Vince Cable's suggestion that they'd like to see more white faces. Cliff Edge, a red man who normally speaks in capital letters and puts his ruddy complexion down to a...

It has taken years of diligent campaigning and endless hours of tough negotiating but finally Simon Danczuk has achieved something material for the citizens Rochdale. Today saw the unveiling of Simon Danczuk's crowning achievement. A...

Hot on the heels of Boris Johnson's success in the Stable Door Shutting championships, the Health Secratary, Matt Hancock has added Straw Clutching to his own cv as a transferable skill a source at...

Conservative politician Jacob Rees-Mogg is said to have been left "apoplectic" earlier today after receiving several hundred carrier pigeon messages informing him of the impending changes to data protection legislation. The MP for North East...

Reclusive Wall Street tycoons the Duke Brothers have been at it again, this time betting against US Democracy.