Rochdale Man’s attempt to iron his shirt declared a blazing success

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Unbelievably, a Rochdale man has found the iron and ironing-board and pressed his Friday night drinking shirt, unaided. Last Friday, Alan Bloke (37) was...

Herald wins “Satirical Web Page of the Year”

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It's a day of celebration at the Rochdale Herald as we are delighted to announce we have won Satirical Web Page of the Year...
Danczuk

Rochdale Online to give Danczuk day off

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In a miraculous change of heart Rochdale Online has decided to give the suspended MP Simon Danczuk a break. Editor Sandra Simonhater said "He...
Sean Spicer

White House Press Office denies denying denials of denials denying denials

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The White House Press Office has issued a fresh set of denials denying denials of  denials denying denials. "We knew about Mr Trump's links to...

Smallbridge Flats Man Convinced Pigeon Likes to Watch him Hoover Naked

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While spending a good portion of his weekly income on the Euromillions, Mr. Garry Lee Shaw complained about the fifth or even sixth time...

Pet lovers left feline annoyed by introduction of Cat Licenses

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Today the government announced the controversial plan to tax all cat owners by making cat licenses mandatory. The move could bring a much needed £89...

NHS partner with WhatsApp to reboot IT project

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In a move to reduce costs and breathe new life into the long-abandoned £11.4 billion Centralised Records System, the NHS has announced a partnership...
Viagra

WTO confirms nations can trade with U.K. on a ‘pity fuck’ basis.

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The WTO has confirmed that in the case of a no deal Brexit, member nations will be free to trade with the U.K. as...

Shortcake is nuttier than fruitcake – Parliamentary Inquiry finds

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In another extraordinary turn of events in Australian, "She'll be right mate" politics, opposition leader, William Shortcake has been ridiculed in a Parliamentary Inquiry...

Pothead Calls Kettle Black; Clinton Challenges Trump To TV Drug Blowout

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Trump Challenges Clinton To Drug Test Prior To Next Debate - Clinton Lashes Back With Drug Taking Contest Challenge US Election 2016; Following Donald Trump's...

Theresa May fails fascist dictator litmus test after not getting trains to run on...

9
For the second time this week seasonally predictable temperatures have ground the railways to a virtual halt across the south and south-east of England....
Delivery Driver

Firms reports record customer satisfaction levels after using cocaine delivery gang to deliver parcels

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Delivery firms that specialise in not delivering your parcels have reported a huge increase in customer satisfaction levels. The news comes following the companies use...

Corbyn to guarantee himself a seat by emptying trains to 1800s level

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Diane Abbott has declared Jeremy Corbyn "statistically the most popular & electable Labour leader ever" after the leaked Labour Manifesto shows that Labour have...
TRUMP POLE DANCERS

Trump hails Polish culture saying “Pole dancers are the best, I’m a huge fan,...

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US President Donald Trump Thursday attempted to cement US-Polish relations in a speech delivered in the Polish capital Warsaw on the first day of...
Pigs

Brexit Party set for MEP gains. Scientists bring pig brains back from the dead

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Early opinion polls show a likely overall victory for the Brexit Party in the upcoming European Parliament elections.  Scientists have restored brain activity to...
British Tourists

Britons still enjoy holidays abroad as long as they don’t meet foreigners

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Britons have not fallen out of love with foreign holidays, according to a survey by Rochdale Community College's Leisure and Recreation Department. The survey found...

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