Thousands come together for eye testing
Thousands of people have come together in the name of ophthalmic health this weekend. Many even brought their own testing kits.
One attendee told us,...
Community schools plan morning assemblies in Mosques
Community schools are to hold mandatory morning assemblies in Mosques across the borough, it has been announced.
Rochdale Council made the announcement earlier today, releasing...
French PM Tells Boris “Freedom of Movement or Nothing” then Shuts Calais
British holidaymakers and Brexit voters on their way to France had the opportunity to learn what the term "French border control" actually means over...
Wayne Rooney moves from second best team in Manchester to second best team in...
Thatched-roofed footballer Wayne Rooney was yesterday given away by the second best team in Manchester to the second best team in Liverpool.
He moves...
Facebook Users Don’t Twist Tragedy Into Confirmation of Their Worldview
A man and a woman managed to see news stories shared on Facebook today without thinking it proved what they already believe.
Duncan Merchant from Rochdale,...
Euro 2020 tournament to be played on XBox, UEFA confirms
The European Football Championship 2020 is to be played on XBox, UEFA has told The Rochdale Herald.
In the wake of the Coronavirus pandemic, European...
Magic mushroom season not as bad as rumoured
Rumours that this year's magic mushroom season has been a let down are made of regret and the memory of socks from Bolivia, says...
Firefighters called to Downing St after woman stuck in windows retrieving solid policy document
Reports this morning out of Downing Street say firefighters were called last night after a woman became stuck between two windows attempting to retrieve...
Chips aren’t as tasty as live mice confirms Prime Minister
In an attempt to appear more human Theresa May took a break from eating her usual diet of live mice and had one of her aides...
Boss of insolvent Maplin vows to solder on
The failure of electrical retailer Maplin has shocked the market after fuse saw it coming, but is it indicative of the current state of...
Government digital service actually still analogue
The government’s “digital service”, a branch of the cabinet office and the one that was meant to protect the government’s computer systems against cyber...
Cat that will only eat one type of food still happy to lick its...
Your cat has confirmed that despite only being willing to eat one specific type of food, it is still more than happy to lick...
Sources say DFS might be having a sale IMMINENTLY
If you want a new sofa, pay attention, because this could save you literally some pounds.
In an exclusive scoop, The Rochdale Herald can reveal...
Newspaper that regularly features Princess Diana’s ghost denies allegations of fake news
Staff at the Daily Express have been forced to deny that their publication is a tissue of lies and fake news even though it...
Sports Scientists baffled as two guys faster than world’s fastest man
On Saturday, the world’s favourite sprinter, Usain Bolt ran his last 100m race of his career at the London Stadium.
The 30 year old...
Lords Punish May With Dance
Prime Minister Theresa May attempted to intimidate The Lords this evening with a “dance off”.
And failed terribly.
A furious May entered the Lords...
