Jeremy Corbyn’s anti-Trident, peace before war principles have long caused concern amongst critics and fellow MPs.

“He’ll lie down and let anyone who wants to do us harm march over him and take all our stuff” said Defence Secretary Michael Fallon earlier this week, he continued “I bet he doesn’t even like the film predator, or the scene in Apocalypse Now, where they play Wagner whilst napalming a gook village. Hippy.”

However, Corbyn stunned his opposition into silence today with his foreign policy announcement:

“I may be anti-Trident and I may prefer to look for a peaceful application to any issue first, but I am by no means opposed to doing what must be done. That is is why will take a hard line approach, by approving the use of Britain’s most powerful weapon; Dennis Skinner.”

The fiery, aging MP, known as the Beast of Bolsover, armed with a cricket bat is a stark message to all, that Corbyn is prepared to do what is necessary.

We contacted Michael Fallon for a statement, “I think this is an appalling move, in breach of all modern humanitarian conventions. I hope for the sake of humanity, nuclear war breaks out before Skinner unleashed on the world.”