The Canary Website

Why isn’t the media reporting UK government mass genocide? Asks The Canary

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The Canary has today revealed what the mainstream media (msm) won't. That the Tory led Government have committed mass genocide in a bid to...

Theresa May reveals plans for future funding cuts.

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Theresa May faced the press this week in a hope to clarify future government spending. In an exclusive interview with the Rochdale Herald she...
Farage

Right wing nutjob calls right wing nutjob a right wing nutjob

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Leading members of the Right Wing Nutjobs Association have been flinging accusations around willy-nilly to the amusement of 'leftie libtards' everywhere. Right wing nutjob...

Electoral Commission added to watchlist of subversive organisations

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The Government announced today that, after a long and thorough review of the workings of the Electoral Commission, they have added it to the...

‘Fake Sheikh’ Gets 15 Months For Making Obscene Phone Calls

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Undercover Herald reporter Bazzer McNood has been sentenced to 15 months (suspended) plus a 20 hour Community Service Order for making lewd and obscene nuisance phone...

Theresa May Selective In Button Pressing

Prime Minister Theresa May briefly excited Brexiters yesterday when she announced she would definitely push the button. As cheers rang out across the nation it...

South Yorkshire Police arrest tree during tree felling protest

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The long standing dispute over the unpopular and legally dubious felling of Sheffield street trees took a bizarre new turn when South Yorkshire Police...
Drug paraphernalia

Rochdale man who can’t explain what his job is tells people he’s a drug...

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A Rochdale man who got tired of struggling to explain what his job is, so that people could understand what he does, now just...

Rope supplier refusing to sell more to Conservatives as they have enough

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‘Any Old Rope Will Do’, a rope and string supplier from Dagenham, is under threat of legal action today after refusing to sell anymore...

British Firewall totally not about censorship and spying, says head of spying and censorship...

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GCHQ, the British spy agency that is regularly exposed for bugging our phones and nicking our online data to spy on us, has announced...

May May trigger Brexit in May? Maybe

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Theresa May today revealed her plans and a slogan for Brexit; a bitter, lonely and incontinent future with seventeen cats and no continent. The slogan...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson says ‘Get behind May’ as it’s best angle to knife her in...

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FOREIGN SECRETARY Boris Johnson has urged colleagues to "get behind" the PM because "it's difficult to stab people in the back when you are...

Gove says public ‘sick and tired’ of so-called legal experts…

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Following the successful legal challenge to Brexit, Michael Gove has said that the public are "sick and tired" of so-called legal experts being high...
Rachael Tripp

Woman’s Instagram post about husband’s small penis causes backlash

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A wife's Instagram post about loving her husband's "cashew" sized penis has sparked a backlash online about just how dumb her husband is. American...
Darts

Rochdale shock at non-inclusion of ancient sport of darts in Olympics

There has been a furious reaction today at the exclusion of the ancient sport of "arrows" in the Rio Olympics today. The worshipful brethren...

Wankers now the majority of the public, scientists conclude.

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A newly published report shows that 55% of the British public are tossers. Professor Onan Offtherist from the Rochdale Institute of Masturbatory Studies told us...

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