Brownlee Brothers win World Three Legged Race Championship
British superstars Jonny and Alister Brownlee were today crowned world 3 legged triathlon race champions in a nail biting finish in Mexico.
Although crossing the...
Microsoft to finally stop buggering about with Windows
Microsoft have announced today that they have finally finished fannying about with Windows and Microsoft Office.
The news has been met with widespread concern by...
Supreme Court rules Theresa May is not allowed to break the law
In a completely pointless landmark ruling costing millions the Supreme Court has had its final say.
Brexit means Brexit, which means both the Houses Parliament...
If the dead weren’t so unproductive the economy would be booming, says Phillip Hammond
Chancellor Phillip Hammond has blamed sluggish economic growth figures on the dead.
"Our research over the last two quarters has proved conclusively that the dead...
Hippy English woman ‘is a pain in the arse’ say Indians
A woman from Rochdale who has been to India on a spiritual journey to find herself is just a monumental pain in the arse,...
Simon Cowell’s stairs win Brit Award for outstanding contribution to music industry
Simon Cowell’s stairs have received a Brit Award for their outstanding contribution to the music industry after the reality TV star was found unconscious...
Microsoft worker takes Apple to court
Yesterday, a Microsoft employee allegedly got a dressing down from High Court judge, the Right Honorable Justice Antony Smyth-Tomkinson. The employee who we cannot...
Grammar police call for tougher sentences
Grammar police call for tougher sentences Campaigners are calling for grammar errors to be punished with tougher sentences - especially for repeat offenders. "There...
Trump ecstatic hurricane Harvey is bigger than every hurricane under Obama
Donald Trump says he's especially proud that Hurricane Harvey is bigger than any Hurricane President Obama presided over.
In a speech he said, "Watched...
Awkward moment for Prince Andrew at nativity as virgin told she will have a...
There were awkward scenes for Prince Andrew today at a nativity in Sandringham when a virgin was told she will have a baby.
The Prince...
SHOCK as England fans vote 52 to 48 to LEAVE the World Cup
There is widespread shock around England today after the English voting public voted 52% to 48% for the England football team to leave the...
Criminals allowed to break law in ‘specific and limited way’
The Home Office has confirmed that British criminals will now be allowed to commit crimes in a 'specific and limited way' following the government's...
Trump Invades Iraq
President Trump has declared war on Iraq after a five minute conversation with Tony Blair.
The former British PM, referred to by White House officials...
50 Shades of Grey author denies responsibility for Tory surge
The author of the '50 Shades' series of erotic novels, E.L. James, has dismissed allegations that she is responsible for the public's increasing desire...
Labour Conference to go ahead as Dennis Skinner with baseball bat confirmed as security
The Labour Party have announced that their conference will go ahead despite G4S laughing in their faces when begged to supply security.
"We are sorry...
Dianne Abbott assures voters she’s feeling better after taking a Paracetamol
Dianne Abbott, the MP for Stoke Newington and The Shadow Secretary for Health, has assured both parliament and her constituents that she has almost completely recovered from having a bit of a headache.
