Tree lined street

Sheffield City Council issues injunction against Councillor for doing councillory things.

In the increasing farrago that surrounds Sheffield City Council's efforts to denude the streets of lush, green, oxygen-providing, shade-giving trees - in the quest...
Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-Mogg named as Minister of Silly Walks

27
Jacob Rees-Mogg, famous for transforming the lives of the people of North-East Sunwontset, has been appointed Minister of Silly Walks. It's believed Theresa May made...
Donald Trump

Our concentration camps are safer than our schools, Trump assures Democrats

0
Donald Trump has taken to Twitter today to assure Democrats in the United States Congress that the filthy concentration camps into which he's herding...
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn counterfeit poppy scandal

0
There is outrage in many political and charitable quarters today after rumours emerged that senior members of the Labour Party have been selling Remembrance Day poppies and memorabilia to supplement their parliamentary incomes.

Fury as EU force England Cricket Team to wear pink caps

0
Fury has erupted in the cricketing World as power mad Eurocrats have forced England cricketers into wearing EU coloured pink caps. The Euro-wankers, already quaking...
Jesus Christ

Jesus rejects will of the people

0
Jesus of Nazareth rejects will of people and refuses to die On 23 June 33AD, the lawful Government represented by Pontius Pilate asked the people...
UFC

Brain dead lunkhead defeats violent wanker in front of large crowd of idiots

0
Nearly eight brain cells were killed in a mass brawl following the Ultimate Fight Club bout between Conman McGregor and Khabab Gnawmigonadov in Las...

Boris “getting Coronavirus done”. PM tests positive.

0
The Rochdale Herald can confirm that the Prime Minister of the UK, Boris Johnson, has tested positive for Coronavirus. Having been tested for Coronavirus on...

Outrage as Trump BBQ ruins White House lawn

6
White House officials were said to be furious today after Trump supporters burned a cross on the South Lawn last night. The BBQ, which was...

Michael Gove “more slippery than Teflon”

0
Independent research at the Technical University of Rochdale has found that Michael Gove is more slippery than Teflon - and that a patent has...
Ebola

‘Deadly viruses don’t kill people, people kill people,’ claims Ebola

11
In a bid to improve its reputation as one of the world's most lethal pathogens, the Ebola virus has today sought to shift the...
Goldie

Who the fuck is Goldie, asks Banksy

2
The deliberately modest and ultra secretive celebrity, Goldie, yesterday potentially revealed  the identity of serial graffiti artist and liberal metropolitan elite caricature, Banksy, in...

Brian Cox Announced As New President Of Flat Earth Society

0
Both the scientific and pseudo-scientific communities express a modicum of shock as tousle-haired synth-pop supremo and thinking housewives favourite Professor Brian Cox is sworn...

Army called in to Burnley find ‘riot’ just sale at Farmfoods

0
The British Army was deployed in Burnley town centre earlier today to quell civil unrest apparently taking place in the city's popular shopping district. Army...

Apology

In last Wednesdays edition, in the article 'Susan Boyle to sing Dead Kennedys 'Too Drunk To F@ck' at Trump Inauguration', we incorrectly referred to...

UK wakes up in shower and realises it was all a dream

0
Season 6 of the failing blockbuster drama Brexiting Bad has plumbed new depths of plotting. Following episodes where lead character Boris Johnson got angry and...

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