Only a good guy with a nuclear weapon can stop a bad guy with...
The only way to stop a bad guy with a nuclear weapon is a good guy with a nuclear weapon. That's according to the...
Fred and Rose distance themselves from Kanye
The solicitor for the notorious murderers Fred and Rose West have released a statement saying that Mrs West and her deceased husband are 'in...
Scottish man DIES after drinking a glass of WATER
The first fatality caused by the price increase on alcohol in Scotland was announced this morning.
Ian McCreedy aged 42 died at his local...
Stevie Wonder just chooses to be blind, says Kanye West
Batshit crazy US rapper Kanye West has said that the Stevie Wonder’s blindness may be a “choice.”
NHS increase Homeopathy budget by 0.0000001%
Campaigners are thrilled after their campaign to reverse a decision by NHS bosses to no longer prescribe homeopathy on the NHS.
After winning the right...
Veganism can be cured claim scientists
Scientists at Bideford University have claimed that the recent epidemic of Veganism can be stopped if victims receive treatment in the early stages of...
Passive aggressive colleague is genuinely ‘looking forward to your reply’
An office worker who regularly distributes passive aggressive emails genuinely is 'looking forward to your response' because he is very lonely and has little...
Everyone on Facebook now an expert in neuroscience
It's been revealed that millions of Britons on Facebook are now experts in neuroscience.
The revelation comes just weeks after millions of people were found...
Confusion and Discomfort as Marathon forces Londoners to support and talk to one another
Mass confusion ensued at the London Marathon today, as London dwellers cast off their stony facades and began to talk to one another.
'I started...
Queen celebrates being 22 in lizard years
The Queen has celebrated being 22 in lizard years today.
David Attenborough was there to capture the celebrations and was able to give the...
Local Man PROMISES he’s only drinking Strongbow Dark Fruit ‘because it’s sunny’
A local man has insisted that he doesn't normally drink Strongbow Dark Fruit, but when it's sunny outside 'everybody does it'.
Usually opting for an...
City of Brighton & Hove to be shortened by 1 metre after Brexit
Residents of Brighton & Hove were shocked to discover plans to shorten their city by 1 metre along it's East/West axis following Brexit.
In 1972,...
Leading Homeopath Accidentally Says Something Sensible
Writing in the lifestyle magazine 'It's A Gullible Life' Dr Pie d'Piper (currently The British Homeopathic Amalgam's Integrative Dissimulation Spokesbeing) responded to the news...
Nigel Farage’s shadow finally gives up and leaves him
As sick of him as the rest of the world. Nigel Farage's Shadow packs its bags and leaves the prick.
After a lifetime together Nigel...
Civil rights group shocked after Ant McPartlin sentenced to watching Britain’s Got Talent
Prisoners' rights group, Liberty, protested against the harsh treatment of Ant McPartlin in a strongly worded text to The Rochdale Herald today after the...
Lack of mud and misery makes Coachella not a real festival, experts reveal
A group of specialists have confirmed that without rain, mud and warm cider, Coachella is actually not a real festival.
Despite there being music, dancing...
