Government plans to lower age of criminal responsibility to 2 YEARS OLD
To help with the deficit, the government will be lowering the age of criminal responsibility to 2. The age of criminal responsibility is currently 10 in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, and 12 in...
Heath department hails compulsory organ donation as possible way to pay for Brexit
Sources inside the Department of Health this evening are said to be excited over the Secretary of State's alleged contribution to the debate about how to pay for Brexit.
It's believed that by putting a...
Man left fuming after blue passport cover turns out to be Prussian blue
A Rochdale man has spoken of his anger after his new blue passport cover turned out to be Prussian blue with gold lettering.
Cliff Edge had ordered the passport cover from the well known online...
Hot Deals in Rochdale Black Friday Price Crash! – Don’t miss out!
Rochdale is going nuts this Friday with MEGA DEALS accross the town centre. Grab a bargain, they're giving it away.
LITERALLY!
-Head down to your local charity shop on Friday and a get a HUGE 10p...
Getting from Leeds to Manchester 15 minutes quicker is top priority, says leader of...
The leader of a country full of hungry and homeless children has pledged to deploy all possible resources to shortening commuting times between Leeds and Manchester by 15 minutes.
"Reducing the time it takes to...
Israel launches airstrike on anti-semitic moon after spacecraft crash
The first privately funded mission to the moon has had an apparent failure resulting in a crash.
The Israeli spacecraft called Beresheet had been sent on a mission to 'reclaim' ancient and rightful territory on...
Average household savings wiped out by demonetisation of old pound coins under sofa cushions
The Office for National Savings released alarming figures this morning suggesting that average household savings in the United Kingdom had been all but wiped out by demonetising the old pound coins.
The new, thirteen sided...
Irony pronounced dead after UKIP spokesman warns Corbyn Government would ‘take Britain back to...
Experts have announced that irony is dead. The announcement came after a UKIP MEP said that Britain would be plunged back to the early 1900's should Jeremy Corbyn be elected Prime Minister.
A spokesman for...
Boris Johnson books flight home from New York with Thomas Cook
Downing Street have issued a statement this morning explaining that Boris Johnson won't be able to attend Prime Minister's Questions today because he's stuck in New York.
Mr Johnson and his entourage are currently queuing...
EMINEM IN $24m AUCTION MIX UP
World famous rap star Eminem has revealed how he recently purchased a storage unit full of broken IKEA furniture for $24M, purely by accident!
Marshall Mathers (aka Eminem), (aka Slim Shady), (aka Chikka, chikka, Slim...
Attention seeker Brian Harvey arrested after sending himself abusive Tweets
Former East 17 Band member and serial own foot shooter Brian Harvey is said to be in trouble with the police over alleged malicious Tweeting.
The runty Rottweiler once fronted the Poundland version of...
Nicky Morgan claims ‘Titanic captain should not be judged by his worst mistakes’
Nicky Morgan yesterday made a conciliatory reference to fellow Tory leadership no-hoper Michael Gove's penchant for Charlie as a naive young 31 year old journalist.
"He has expressed regret and he is entirely right that...
Kinder, with these chocolates you are really not spoiling us
German confectionary giant Kinder has announced plans to remove the toys from 52% of all UK bound Kinder Eggs from the 1st of October 2016.
CEO of Kinder Chocolate, Hans Frei, made the shock announcement...
Three Tenors worth only £17.93 after Brexit
Outraged music lovers everywhere have been devastated by the news that Brexit will cause the Three Tenors to be devalued to £17.93.
Observers have noted that the fall in value of the Pound has coincided...
Pet lovers left feline annoyed by introduction of Cat Licenses
Today the government announced the controversial plan to tax all cat owners by making cat licenses mandatory.
The move could bring a much needed £89 billion in revenue from single middle aged women alone, with...
Jack Whitehall cast in lead role in Idris Elba biopic
Over the weekend the actor and "comedian" Jack Whitehall took to social media to address rumours that he might play Idris Elba in the upcoming Idris Elba biopic.
On Sunday morning, Whitehall posted a series...
