Jeremy Hunt Pictures Issued To Stop People Choking

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A new cure has been unveiled by the NHS to stop people choking - looking at pictures of Jeremy Hunt. This seemingly controversial move actually...

Froom wins fourth Tour de Rochdale

Albert Froom was declared the winner of the Brown Vest yesterday after winning his fourth Tour De Rochdale. The famous bicycle race starts at The...

Celebrity Big Brother get Saw makeover

As the launch of the zillionth series of Celebrity Big Brother plans to get underway in just a few hours, The Rochdale Herald can...
NHS

Government re-brands NHS as Notional Health Service

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The government has announced plans to re-brand the National Health Service as the Notional Health Service. Jeremy Hunt MP, Secretary of State for Health, is...
Downing Street

Shitheads get new jobs

London - A bunch of irrelevant shitheads all got new jobs today in London. Theresa May is currently reshuffling the pack of lizards who would...

Heinz announces new alphabetti spaghetti for the blind

Purveyors of fine bean and pasta based tinned goods, Heinz, announced a new product this morning. A spokesman told The Rochdale Herald: "It's all about equal...
Golden eagle

Birds of Prey sue rock band the Eagles

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In a landmark case the popular American rock band The Eagles are being sued by a flock of birds for use of the band's...
Slipping

Team GB aim for Olympic Gold in ‘Slipping over while carrying the shopping home’

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Team GB have seen a few medal opportunities slip through their fingers in the first few days of the Pyeongchang Winter Olympics but have...
Wayne Rooney

Rooney Returns to Everton because ‘I missed my Nan’

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Overweight, red faced, former England captain Wayne Rooney is to leave Manchester United to return to his first club Everton as part of a...
Jeremy Corbyn

A politician’s ex definitely unbiased source, insist BBC 

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To prove they're balanced and fair, the BBC have asked Jeremy Corbyn's ex wife for her totally independent and unbiased view on the Labour...

Do you have the X Factor? Join in our interactive game.

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X Factor fans will be delighted to see the return of the unfathomably popular "talent" show this evening. To celebrate the new series we at...
Man in tinfoil hat

Trump: tinfoil a good defence against mind control rays

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President-elect Donald J Trump has announced a groundbreaking and cutting edge technology to combat the growing menace of conspiracies facing the US. He is well...

We’re just going to f**king do Brexit, you lot look after yourselves May tells...

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The Prime Minister shocked the country today by forcing a kindly old lady in a blue and yellow hat that looked like an EU...

Talking Turkey; Leadsom Embroiled In Referendum U-Turn Debacle

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Conservative leadership candidate hopeful Andrea Leadsom was remaining tight lipped this morning following revelations that she has 'pulled a u-ey' over the recent referendum...
Amber Rudd

One in the eye for Tories as Rudd loses Hastings seat

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Amber Rudd tonight accepted a role as full-time spokesperson for Theresa May. The Herald asked Amber what caused her seat to turn Red, and she...

Parents Bigger Liars Than Politicians

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Research done by students at Rochdale's Kingsway Park school suggests that parents are bigger liars than politicians. 6th Former Tom Wilkes who was head of the...

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