Rochdale Herald issues cease and desist warning against The Southend News Network
The editorial department at The Rochdale Herald was in uproar this afternoon after one of the biggest names in satirical local news blatantly ripped off their ripped off meme of Jeremy Corbyn on an...
Government announces above-inflation pay rise for vital frontline MPs
Chancellor Philip Hammond responds to calls to offer above-inflation pay rises to public sector workers in Westminster, after a survey revealed that four out of ten MPs lose sleep because of financial anxiety.
The poll...
Dramatic confession as video found guilty of radio star murder
A 38 year old killing was finally resolved at the Old Bailey yesterday as Video Charles Robinson, commonly known simply as 'Video' was found guilty in the notorious 'Radio Star' murder case.
The prosecutor, Geoffrey...
Bradley Walsh cast on Doctor Who to tackle underrepresentation of middle aged white men
Popular presenter of ITV’s The Chase, Bradley Walsh, has been announced today as a new companion in long running BBC sci-fi show, Doctor Who.
The decision is being hailed as a great move against the...
Shops Brace Themselves for Annual 24th December Man Shop of Well Packaged Shite
Man Shop's Eve - the day men buy all their Christmas presents using no thought or imagination based only upon the quality of packaging that might get away without being wrapped is looming large...
Who needs firemen anyway asks DUP clad Tory government
There was anger in parliament last night as the government narrowly defeated a motion by the Labour Party to end the cap on public sector pay rises by 323 votes to 309.
The government's narrow...
Fifty Shades Of Grey to become the government’s new race relations manual
We’ve all heard the expression about not judging a book by its cover, but one of the most notorious books of the current decade has just been judged by its title.
In response to increasing...
Liberal man escapes Wetherspoons seconds before Brexit seems appealing.
A liberal man has spoken today of his horror at being seconds away from becoming a Brexiteer.
Near-victim Webastian Sliesel told our reporter Sebastian Wiesel "It was horrendous. I was in Plymouth, which has a...
Shameless firefighters put the squeeze on hard working public officials
Firefighters were forced into a defensive position today after important and hardworking public officials started to show the strain of the remorseless pressure from public sector workers heckling for a pay rise.
First Michael Gove...
Piers Morgan distraught after accidentally flushing article down the bog
He'd just logged on
Vox populi Piers Morgan (yeah I used Latin, deal with it, what comic do you think you're reading, the Mail?) has been left distraught after accidentally flushing an article down the...
Resting Bitch Face to be renamed Resting Just Sick of Your Shit Face
It seems that testing conditions, designed to mimic working in an average open plan office space, may have coloured the subjects' results. "It wasn't that their neutral faces were 'bitchy', just that even within a short time of meeting us, they were already just sick of our shit."
NHS partner with WhatsApp to reboot IT project
In a move to reduce costs and breathe new life into the long-abandoned £11.4 billion Centralised Records System, the NHS has announced a partnership with WhatsApp to improve access to patient data.
WhatsApp, owned by...
All toddlers are Tories scientists confirm
Scientists from the Institute For Politicised Childhoods have announced the results of extensive testing, on toddlers, in laboratories.
"They're all Conservatives, by and large." Dr. Bee Levermen revealed. "We had this hypothesis and we set...
Daily Mail asking readers to buy two copies each
Pressure appears to be mounting in the offices of the Daily Mail, as their latest idea in an attempt to boost sales is to ask readers to buy two copies each.
The paper, famous for...
Rochdale trolley collector quits job, anaesthetises pigeon and cuts off let to pursue career...
A Rochdale man has today spoken exclusively to the Herald about his short-lived career as a pirate.
Captain Lidl Beard had been working as a trolley collector at The Rochdale branch of Lidl until quitting...
Ketty Hopkins joins GB equestrian team
Horse faced professional turd and former Daily Mail columnist Katie Hopkins has apparently been offered a new job by the GB olympic equestrian team.
Katie, the former Apprentice contestant and Jungle evictee who lost her...
