Other News

UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s use of statistics. Head of the watchdog Mr Norse Code is said to...

Parents up and down the country have thrown their support behind the Conservatives today after details emerged of a radical new plan to abolish school holidays and send children to school for 12 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days of the year.

In the UK we all know and love the kids TV show Doctor Who, because that's what we're told to do by the BBC. On Sunday it was revealed, as long-rumoured, that the 13th...

The Rochdale Herald has been briefed by a group of hardcore Brexit Conservative MPs who have confirmed that Brexit is actually really hard, even though they stand to inherit everything but brains. This is in...

The Rochdale Herald can reveal that Julian Assange's camper van has run up £19,700 in parking ticket charges. The van was left on Cadogan Place a few streets away from the Ecuadorian Embassy. Mr Assange who was...

A religious leader in the US has taken to social media to applaud the heroic martyrdom of a mother shot by police after executing her daughters to prevent them bringing shame upon their family. The...

Tory Party Members up and down the country are reported to be livid that the withdrawal of Andrea Leadsom has robbed them of their "Masters of the Universe" complex over their right to personally...

Far right stringless Thunderbird puppet and multi-millionaire Dulwich educated ex-banker and man of the people Nigel Farage reportedly bought the middle class toffees straight after the newly elected despot Donald J. Trump's controversial Tweet...

Startling news reached us today that a lost tribe of warehouse workers has been found "really fit" and well in an Amazon 'fulfilment centre' near Tewkesbury. The tribe is thought to consist of approximately 75...

UKIP's national policy committee has accidentally hanged itself following the launch of its new policy demanding that under aged girls from "risk groups" be given mandatory genital checks for female genital mutilation. "One minute they...

UKIP leader Paul Nuttall has caused outrage today by Issuing a call for a ban on dwarves and "midgets and really just anyone suspiciously short." He justified his call by stating that "What's the matter...

The UN has today confirmed that anyone who says Nazis were socialist are to lose human status, joining holocaust deniers in the shortlist of 'people' that it would be deeply satisfying, and now legal,...

In an unprecedented announcement, Downing Street issued a denial of any suggestions that the Prime Minister is incontinent. "During a period of initial uncertainty, many details of the final Brexit package seemed to fall between...

Former Tory minister and leading Brexit campaigner Michael Gove has called on the government to slash EU regulations on cannibalism which he claims have been holding back British industry. "We need to take back control...

David Davis, the Secretary for Probably Exiting the European Union, has confirmed to the House of Lords Select Committee that he has definitely done the financial analysis that is due to be handed in...

The Professional Footballers Association have warned that a 30% cut in their members' wages would damage the NHS as it would reduce the amount of tax revenue the national purse received. Seriously. They actually said this. The...