Ordinary Yemenis have taken a break from being killed by British and American bombs and weapons to thank the British Government for tightening up its complete and total breach of its own rules of arms sales.

“When we’re being killed and maimed constantly by Saudi attacks using weapons from UK arms deals signed off by the British government, “ said Nadeem Fathy after burying a baby, “It’s very reassuring to hear that Colonel Bob Stewart from your defence committee says that Saudis are really trying hard not to hit civilian targets like that children’s hospital that used to be where that pile of rubble is.”

Stewart had explained earlier this week that the Saudis had made some mistakes but things had “been really tightened up” lately and they were “doing their level best to sort it out.”

Although Muhammed Al Rei said perhaps level best referred to the acres of civilian homes that they’d “accidentally” leveled. 

In recent days the UK and US governments have assured people that they’re not breaking any laws and are being very careful in their sales of arms to the peaceful and trusted Saudi regime.

“Seven Al Qaida terrorists have been kill,” said a Home Office spokesperson.

“That’s great!” agreed Yusra Golan as he wiped his wife’s blood off what remains of his home, “That makes the thousands upon thousands of innocent civilian lives lost worth it, eh?”

It is against international law to sell arms when you know they will be used to kill civilians. 

“Apparently this can be circumvented by pretending you don’t frigging know,” added Yusra.

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.