Ovaltine and cats are the new clubbing
Night clubbing has undergone a radical change in recent years.
The club scene has had many different faces. From tea dances, jazz and the dancehall...
Europol warns of New Wave jihadis
Jihadis are entering the country on false passports according to Europol, heralding a New Wave.
Since the uproar regarding burkhinis on the beautiful beaches of...
2016 Will Be A Cakewalk Compared To Me Says 2017
Many people have put 2016 down as one of the worst years of their lives, with a series of disastrous political events; the deaths...
Fruit salad cancer risk
Fruit salads may cause cancer, top Latvian scientists have found. The study, published in Eat My Carcinoma, has sent shockwaves through fruit communities and...
Middle aged man who bought passata just one small step from red skinny jeans...
Rochdale man Stan Still is just a short step away from buying skinny red jeans according to his girlfriend.
Alga Rithem, Stan's partner for the...
Brexiters puzzled to find out what Parliamentary Sovereignty actually means
Theresa May has been left with a political bloody nose after she was unable to convince enough of her own party to swallow her...
Amazon to train Animals to deliver your parcels
The world's largest internet retailer, and tax avoiding giant, Amazon are rumored to be conducting secret trials using animals to deliver parcels to your...
Boris not offensive, simply misunderstood – insists Boris
Posh fop-headed press gob and Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson has defended the countless insults and faux pas he has made by claiming that each...
English All Xenophobic Wankers – says Nicola Sturgeon without Hint of Irony
Nicola Sturgeon will today claim that “Godless English Imperial filth” are using Brexit as a “licence for xenophobia” and that the English “are secretly working to not be considered Wankers by absolutely everyone.”
Happy Ed Balls Day
You know that feeling: the kids rush into your room at some ungodly morning hour and excitedly demand to know, “Has he been? Has...
Britain’s first halal food bank to open in Rochdale
News that the UK's first halal food bank is to open in Rochdale this week was greeted enthusiastically by local residents and village elders...
La La Land Eclipses Titanic Record for ‘Most Men Forced to Watch Chick-Flick’
La La Land, the 2016 American romantic musical comedy-drama film starring Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone, has shattered the record of 'Titanic' as the...
Not enough evidence to convict Danczuk of rape says CPS
The Crown Prosecution Service has declined to prosecute Simon "Shagger" Danczuk on the basis that they are not confident they will secure a conviction.
British automakers to make english sparkling wine for export to Japan after Brexit
Boris Johnson, acting Prime Minister, has followed up Theresa May’s success in Japan by reassuring Japanese business lobbies British automakers can produce enough english...
Emergency services overwhelmed after public blinded by David Dimbleby’s tie
Emergency Services are at the point of absolute collapse this evening after millions tuned in to the BBC to watch the exit polls this evening...
Bad dishwasher etiquette is evidence of evolution running backwards
Anthropologists working at the University of Bath today released a study which they claim demonstrates that the human race appears to be separating into...
