Reports of widespread rioting across UK takes government by surprise
Tonight, the U.K. Is in disarray. The major cities of London, Manchester, Liverpool, Leeds and Birmingham are in lockdown with reports of outbreaks of...
Emergency shadow cabinet meeting called following shock resignation of Shadow Culture Secretary Adnan Khan
Jeremy Corbyn has called yet another emergency cabinet meeting today after Rochdale superstar Adnan Khan resigned from his position as Shadow Culture Secretary.
Corbyn's press secretary...
Stephen Hawking’s next book titled A Brief History of C*nts
Stephen Hawking is well regarded as the largest living brain in Britain and someone whose opinions are worth serious consideration, while Mr Hunt as something rather different.
Men warned not to date clever & pretty girls who might get “a bit...
A Judge has warned men that they only have themselves to blame if they date very clever, very pretty girls who are "a bit...
NHS to be shut down so sick people can get used to feeling poorly
In a shock move Sunday UK chancellor Philip Hammond, announced that his first budget on Wednesday will outline plans for a complete end to...
Rochdale iPhone owner awarded medal after not reminding everybody he has an iPhone for...
Damon McIntyre of Rochdale was awarded a gold medal by his local community this week after managing a whole week without using the phrase...
Prime Minister Hospitalised After Strong and Stable Seizure
Prime Minister Theresa May was rushed to hospital this evening after suffering what is described as a "strong and stable" seizure.
The incident occurred while...
On St David’s Day, everyone at the Rochdale Herald would like to wish our...
So "Popity Ping" to you all.
Have a daffodil
Boris meant Saudis are awesome says Defence Secretary Michael Fallon
Boris Johnson’s words on Saudi Arabia and other Middle East powers were misreported, according to a clearly desperate Defence Secretary Sir Mr Michael of Fallon.
Unnamed Rochdale MP to be charged with being drunk in charge of a mobility...
An as yet unnamed MP for Rochdale has allegedly been arrested for being drunk in charge of a mobility scooter.
Police were called in the...
Swearing Increasing Exponentially Since Trump’s Inauguration
Use of swear words has increased dramatically since Donald Trump’s inauguration, a study has shown.
Since the 20th of January, the average number of swear...
God Issues Apology For 2016 Celebrity Cull
In an official statement released this afternoon, God has apologised for the ongoing massacre of talent this year, blaming it on recent pressure to...
Bake Off Champion Candice announces conversion to Islam
Candice Clay, winner of the 2016 Great British Bake off, has sensationally announced She is converting to Islam.
The Man Who Broke The Bank Of England Backs Corbyn
George Soros, the Hungarian-American Billionaire who famously broke the Bank of England on Black Wednesday in 1992, is said to be close to throwing...
Notional round token to be replaced by notional hexagonal token
The Rochdale Herald would like to remind readers that as of next week the shiny gold circles they exchange for goods and services will...
