The new Doctor hasn’t even reanimated yet and already she has fallen out with Jeremy Hunt.

The Doctor told the Herald, “Jeremy asked to see me. He already wants to renegotiate my contract. He told me that a Doctor who only works once a week on a Saturday just isn’t right for the modern world.”

Hunt said, “Modern families are busy. They don’t always have time to spare on a Saturday evening. This new contract will mean the Doctor can follow time lording with the sort of flexibility required by modern families.”

The Doctor responded, “This contract could mean my workload becomes unmanageable. I’m not going to be able to provide a good service if I’ve worked 24 hours straight.”

It’s understood by the Herald that the Doctor had planned to go back in time and interfere with Jeremy’s parents meeting. This had the unintended consequence of making Michael Gove and Boris Johnson Britain’s most successful songwriting team since Lennon and McCartney.

This alternative future also featured Johnson and Gove winning the Mercury music award. The award was presented by Gary Barlow. The smugness of the ceremony became so dense it sucked all the Earth’s energy out destroying the Earth in the process. As such the Doctor had to go back and make sure Jeremy Hunts parents got together.

The Herald understands that in the first episode of the new series of Doctor Who the Doctor will do battle with Tories who wish to privatise the NHS.