The Sun

The Sun to relaunch as Colouring Book

The UK’s second best-selling hate rag, The Sun, is to be relaunched as a colouring book.  As of next week, the Murdoch-owned ‘newspaper’ will cease printing stories and instead focus on producing “exciting and thought-provoking...

Corbyn’s meeting with Czech spy definitely ended The Cold War claims The Canary

The Canary has made the suprising claim that Jeremy Corbyn's meeting with a Czech spy hastened the end of the cold war. The claim was made in an editorial piece this morning. The editorial said,...

Massive twat claims moral high ground

Yesterday, the Daily Mail sought to reset the nation's moral compass by pointing out the recent flood of speculation about Moscow waterbed shenanigans was the work of "cheap, lazy journalists who ran with fake Trump sleaze to...

Katie Hopkins reluctantly buys conventional toilet after running out of platforms to shit from.

Katie Hopkins has been spotted in the bathroom section of Homebase today, after being forced to find a conventional way to dispose of her excrement. Despite several years of various media outlets offering her extravagant...
The Pope

Fake News hurts everyone insists bloke who tells people Jewish wizard’s Mum was a...

The head of the Catholic Church has waded into the debate on fake news and he hasn't shied away from getting his hands dirty.  Pope Francis spoke to our religious affairs reporter at the Vatican; "Writing...

Daily Mail Editor to pay Melania Trump $150m with no prospect of Happy Ending

The Editor of The Daily Mail was said to be gutted at the prospect of having to pay Melania Trump millions of dollars for insinuating she had worked as a call girl in the...
Donald Trump & Jermey Kyle

Donald Trump to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show

Jeremy Kyle was said to be jubilant this morning after securing an exclusive appearance by Donald Trump. The show which is titled "Five children by Three Women" will almost certainly feature Donald Trump taking a...

Man who once burnt a Pot Noodle looking forward to another night of shouting...

A man whose cooking skills don't extend beyond pressing the 'start' button on his microwave is looking forward to another night of shouting at 'Masterchef: The Professionals'. Gary Taylor, 36, intends to spend most of...

Brian Cox apologises for insisting Things Can Only Get Better

Astrologer to the stars Professor Brian Cox has finally come clean about his greatest fib told way back in 1993.

Gove dances The Macarena at Cenotaph, scores 9’s

Michael Gove danced a scintillating version of The Macarena at the Cenotaph, scored straight 9's but The Sun photographer missed it. Today at the cenotaph there were glorious scenes, Michael Gove danced the Macarena round...
Rochdale paramedics

Daily Mail Editor sectioned after being confused by photograph of white terrorist

The Editor of The Daily Mail was carried out of Northcliffe House in a straitjacket this morning after a photograph of a white man with the caption "terrorist" sent him over the edge. News broke...
John Lewis Weasel

Accusations of Racism Hit John Lewis Commercial

The new John Lewis advert, featuring a black British family giving their daughter a trampoline for Christmas has been denounced as racist. "It's an outrage!' said Paul Slaithwaite (53) 'Badgers, foxes, squirrels, hedgehogs, they...

Newspaper that regularly features Princess Diana’s ghost denies allegations of fake news

Staff at the Daily Express have been forced to deny that their publication is a tissue of lies and fake news even though it regularly tells its readership that they're all going...

Thickos more likely to believe any old bollocks scientists reveal

Scientists at Rochdale Community university have discovered that thickos will believe pretty much anything they see on Facebook

Editor of satirical Newspaper “not convinced” readers know what satire means

The editor of a satirical newspaper was reported to have his head in his hands after 60,000 people read an article he'd written about The Daily Mail's coverage of the Olympics and literally taken...

Sex Workers to sue Daily Mail for comparing them to Melania Trump

Millions of sex workers are suing right wing rag, The Daily Mail, after they referred to Melania Trump as a "former sex worker" in an article about her immigration status. "Listen, despite us providing an...

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