In the latest scandal to hit the trio of millionaire cold cut deniers, the runt of the litter, Richard Hammond caused controversy earlier this week on their new show The Grand Tour.
The minature dead eyed David Tennant said; “Anyone who eats ice cream is a puff innit Jez? Or wears an ear ring or doesn’t watch football or cries innit Jez?”
He continued; “They’re not proper men like you are they Jez? If they eat ice cream I mean, proper men eat steak don’t they Jez? Proper men punch other men who don’t bring steak! Ice cream is dead gay innit Jez?”
The comments immediately caused offence to the LGBT community because The Daily Mail, which became a social justice publication for an hour said so.
Defending his feckless friend in his Sun column, a denim clad Clarkson wrote;
“Look, it was a joke, Hammond meant nothing by it. He loves the gays, we all do, after all have you seen his shirts? They’re queerer than Liberace’s poodle.”
He continued; “Everyone gets so offended these days. I say you all just buy a Solero, chill out and stop being big poofs about everything.”
We asked James May for a statement but he was too busy building a Lego tea cozy.