Britain celebrates start of 40 days of losing its mind about Easter eggs

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Britain has been celebrating the start of its traditional Lent activity of being outraged about Easter Eggs not saying Easter on them. Father Frederick Seddon...

Psychic World Cup octopus Rabio sleeps with the fishes

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Psychic Rabio set to bring joy to many Japanese football fans despite the national team's recent World Cup exit. While the Japanese football team face...

Walkers still putting cheese and onion crisps in wrong coloured bag

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Walkers crisps have been told that they're putting cheese and onion crisps in the wrong coloured bag despite everyone knowing that they don't go...

ISIS claims responsibility for orange Revels.

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A spokesman (We're not sure why we're clarifying this. It was never going to be a spokeswoman.) for Islamic State, Biedel Zhabhout, said "Yet...

World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field

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World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale. One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one...
Meat Pie

Man finds Chicken chunks in his Supermarket Brand Chicken and Mushroom Pie

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Daniel Dawkins, a 45 year old unemployed plasterer from Manchester was shocked to discover actual genuine Chicken pieces in his local supermarket brand chicken...
Woman walking through shopping crown

Rochdale captains of industry look forward to purchasing artisans at new Rochdale Artisan Market

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Local businessmen had their collective cocks in a hoop at the news that an Artisan Market is to be launched in Rochdale. "Following Brexit all...

Dad boils right amount of pasta for family of 4

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Buddhists talk in hushed tones of Nirvana, the ultimate; where there is perfection and no sense of self. Many strive to reach this end...

Burnley mum left ‘fuming’ after finding half a vegetable in packet of frozen rats

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A Burnley supermarket has been forced to remove dozens of dead rats from its shelves after a customer reported finding half a vegetable inside...
Bearded hipster coffee

Flexitarians disappointed to learn that it means same as omnivorous

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Leading flexitarians have been holding emergency talks about revelations that flexitarianism is just the same as being omnivorous. Research from Dr Frederick Seddon of Rochdale...

Somebody on Facebook has eaten some food

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It is being widely reported by sources around the world that somebody on Facebook has cooked and eaten a tasty meal.
Indian Family

Asian family enjoying post night out curry accused of ‘Cultural Appropriation’

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A British-Asian family came under intense fire today, after being accused of extreme 'cultural appropriation' from White groups, for enjoying a post pub curry...

Turkey escapes Christmas by identifying as a golden eagle.

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A turkey on a Norfolk farm has been spared slaughter after claiming to identify as a majestic bird of prey. "Once I found a tin...

Gerry Adams to launch cooking show called, Gerry’s Duck a l’Orange March

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Gerry Adams is releasing a new cook book and getting a new cookery show on RTÉ. The show will be called, Gerry's Duck a...

Burnley opens new “All you won’t eat” vegetarian restaurant

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Burnley's first "All you won't eat" buffet style restaurant opened it's doors today. The lavish 10 seater eaterie offers food that most locals would...

Craft beer hand carbonated with bicycle pumps marks last throes of hipsterism.

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The cult of hipsterism which has seemingly infested the planet since forever appears to have finally reached its tipping point, The Rochdale Herald has...

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