G4S win contract to run Guantanamo Bay
Top US officials today confirmed that security company G4S have been granted the contract to oversee all operations in the somewhat controversial detention centre...
US police to swear allegiance directly to Trump and be called the Orange Shirts
In a bold new democracy-busting move, Emperor Trump has decreed the police will now swear an oath of allegiance directly to the person of...
Britain First strangely quiet over Jo Cox murder
This week saw the conviction and sentencing of Thomas Mair in the case of the tragic murder of MP Jo Cox.
During the murder, the...
People who robbed Michael McIntyre receive award for services to comedy
Two robbers who robbed Michael McIntyre are to receive an award for services to comedy following their actions.
One of the two robbers, most recently...
Whitewash of establishment nonces in the interests of the children – says dame
Amber Rudd is set to give evidence to a commons committee on the state of the inquiry into child sexual abuse in place of...
Rochdale man caught speeding forced to sell kidney to pay fine
Plumber, John Thomason of Norden was caught doing 42 on Edenfield Road, which has a limit of 40 on that stretch. He has been fined...
Police force man to remove clothing on Rochdale beach
Photographs have emerged of armed police confronting a diver on Rochdale's now notorious Stansfield Beach. In this most recent effort to enforce new laws...
Attention seeker Brian Harvey arrested after sending himself abusive Tweets
Former East 17 Band member and serial own foot shooter Brian Harvey is said to be in trouble with the police over alleged malicious...
Isis Claims Responsibility for Education Fair Funding Formula Terror
In a shock announcement this morning, that surprised no one, a spokes-stool for Isis (other names are available) claimed credit for the proposed funding...
Men warned not to date clever & pretty girls who might get “a bit...
A Judge has warned men that they only have themselves to blame if they date very clever, very pretty girls who are "a bit...
Foreigners with British citizenship MUST support England in the football, IT’S THE LAW
A Brazilian woman and her South African friend, who have both recently attained British citizenship, have been reported to the authorities after announcing that...
Expansion of stop and search powers opposed by MPs and other criminals
Leaked Home Office document shows that the high concentration of police at the entrance to Parliament could lead to unprecedented levels of stop and...
‘Off to free Tommy Robinson’ replaces ‘dropping kids off at the pool’ as UK’s...
News is just in that spot poll of everybody in the UK has revealed today that the UK's favourite synonym for taking a dump...
Nelson Mandela House in Peckham Evacuated After 20,000 Litres of Luminous Paint Found in...
Hundreds of residents of Nelson Mandela House in Peckham have been evacuated after 20,000 Litres of highly flammable, luminous yellow paint was found stockpiled...
Not all men, say men
Men would like you to know that the thing a man just did, just isn't something they would do
Following a recent incident where a...
Women Still Not Going Down Regularly Enough Say Men
The most recent figures for the UK Prison Population gender gap show men getting sent down at record levels with women going down barely...
