Terroist

British Patriots demand Register of Terrorists

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Paul Golding has picked up the baton from Nick Griffin today in calling for a Register of Potential Terrorists. The call comes in the wake...
Angry White Man Daily Mail

Government hires Daily Mail readers to beef up security strategy

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Downing Street has announced plans to employ Daily Mail readers as a team of specialist civilian advisers as it steps up efforts to improve...

MP claims he was researching book on whether breasts make noises like clown horns

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Leading MP Pete Who speaks out after being named in the Dirty Dossier. The Member of Parliament for Goveshire West, Pete Who, has given a...
Kanye West

Fred and Rose distance themselves from Kanye

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The solicitor for the notorious murderers Fred and Rose West have released a statement saying that Mrs West and her deceased husband are 'in...

Attention seeker Brian Harvey arrested after sending himself abusive Tweets

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Former East 17 Band member and serial own foot shooter Brian Harvey is said to be in trouble with the police over alleged malicious...

Black Cops to shoot unarmed white civilians in controversial Charlotte anti-racism plan

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Charlotte Police Department have unveiled a controversial yet utterly foolproof plan to combat claims that their police force is institutionally racist. They're going to let...
Paddington Bear

Outrage as Paddington Bear deported back to Peru

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Much loved star of children's literature, TV and films, Paddington Bear, has been arrested and deported to Peru, as part of a round up of...
Blackeye

999 rescue for man who misunderstood the meaning of ‘rape robot’

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A dramatic and embarrassing rescue involving two fire engines and four police cars was underway this morning, after one man failed to realise his...
New Year Eve Party

Turn your house into a Costa and other tips for hosting gatherings of more...

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The Government have announced that gatherings of more than 6 people are to be banned. But what do you do if your "Company AGM"...
Marty McFly

Marty McFly and Dr Emmett Brown arrested for crimes against humanity for failing to...

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The time travelling duo, Marty McFly and Dr Emmett Brown, are currently being held in the custody of Sheriff James Strickland in Hill Valley, Northern California. Strickland...

‘Fake Sheikh’ Gets 15 Months For Making Obscene Phone Calls

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Undercover Herald reporter Bazzer McNood has been sentenced to 15 months (suspended) plus a 20 hour Community Service Order for making lewd and obscene nuisance phone...

Pooh denies grooming allegations

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Aging entertainer Winnie The Pooh is in the headlines again as yet another scandal dogs him. The bear, who was linked to a series of...

Jacob Rees-Mogg snapped drinking mead on the night bus

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Haunted hatstand Jacob Rees-Mogg has been forced to issue an apology today after he was snapped drinking mead on the night bus on Tuesday.  The...
Socks and a tie on Rochdale man's Christmas list

Paul Golding Christmas Carol

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Jingle Bells My cell smells It's gloomy and its rank I only pissed some Muslims off Now I'm sitting in the tank. Hey Jingle Bells This is hell I don't think...

Man beaten white and gold by the Police

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We at the Rochdale Herald really liked this headline but couldn't think of a way of making even slightly believable. What follows is some made...

Trump’s Alt-Assassination. The Facts.

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Reports that Donald Trump had been assassinated by a mentally disturbed right-wing white Southerner were denied by the White House yesterday. The world press was...

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