Party with nothing to hide announce plan to close Serious Fraud Office

0
Conservative plans to abolish the Serious Fraud Office has absolutely nothing to do with the investigations into rich Conservative supporters,said a spokesgrunt for the...
Police Raid

Jobs with street value of £25 million found in flat of immigrant scrounger

3
The recent drought of jobs for British citizens has been an ongoing concern. Tirelessly the DWP and businesses have been desperately trying to scramble...
Clown

Police advise public to ‘grow up’ over rise in clown related call outs

0
Police call handlers up and down the country have been inundated with calls from concerned citizens in relation to a bizzare new craze in...
British Transport Police

Jury rules justified homicide after man murdered for drinking mug of tea without removing...

0
A jury has ruled justifiable homicide in the case of a man who was beaten to death on a train near Rochdale after several...
Guantanamo Bay

G4S win contract to run Guantanamo Bay

0
Top US officials today confirmed that security company G4S have been granted the contract to oversee all operations in the somewhat controversial detention centre...

Men in Rural England “Shitting Themselves” as Helen Titchener Walks Free

1
Men up and down the UK will now be sleeping with one eye open and replacing all the knives in the house with plastic...

An analysis of the situation regarding the shooting down of MH17

0
The West: Well, Russia. What do have to say for yourself?  Russia: Vot? I don't know vot you are talking about.  The West: That missile!...

Deranged cycle path murders his spell checker

0
Rochdale police have announced they have comprehended and changed a man in his fortes for the brittle killing of his spell checker. In a statesman, a...
Santa

Scandinavian ‘Too Drunk To Stand’ Following Drunk-Sleighing Arrest

0
Rochdale magistrates heard how a visitor from Lapland, Mr Nicholas Saint (1,747) created havoc in Rochdale with his erratic control over his team of excitable reindeer pulling a bright red sleigh.

Reports of widespread rioting across UK takes government by surprise

3
Tonight, the U.K. Is in disarray. The major cities of London, Manchester, Liverpool, Leeds and Birmingham are in lockdown with reports of outbreaks of...
Britain First

Britain First strangely quiet over Jo Cox murder

0
This week saw the conviction and sentencing of Thomas Mair in the case of the tragic murder of MP Jo Cox.  During the murder, the...

America relieved NYC bomber a terrorist and not a white guy

1
The United States was relieved to hear that the explosion that ripped through NYC earlier in the week wasn't the act of a lone...

Archbishop Welby kicks shit out of Nigel Farage following Twitter spat

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Archbishop Welby is currently helping police with their enquiries in Westminster after allegedly kerb stomping Nigel Farage.

Have Rochdale Tesco Implemented a New Stop And Search Policy?

0
Following a recent spate of shoplifting, Rochdale's Littleborough branch of Tesco Express came under fire today for apparently launching a dramatic new zero-tolerance 'stop...
Blackeye

999 rescue for man who misunderstood the meaning of ‘rape robot’

0
A dramatic and embarrassing rescue involving two fire engines and four police cars was underway this morning, after one man failed to realise his...

Interflora agent admits to killing Lady Di in deathbed confession shock

16
Alleged deathbed confession implicates both floral delivery service and royal family in assassination plot In a shock announcement that has been doing the rounds on...

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