Police call time on sex pests

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Paedophile sex pests across England and Wales are to be fitted with bells, in a new scheme announced by the police today. The new devices...
Ancient text

Daily Mail claim Koran found propping up wobbly table leg in Thomas Mair’s kitchen

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In a shocking turn of events, the Daily Mail have claimed police forensics have revealed to them that during the investigation into Thomas Mair...

Arsehole starts fight and loses, man he started fight with arrested

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A dickhead has died in a karmic avalanche after breaking into the home of a 78 year old.

5000 American tourists arrested for ‘hostile reconnaissance’.

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The Metropolitan Police Hostile Reconnaissance Unit has arrested more than 5,000 American tourists in the last two days.
New Year Eve Party

Turn your house into a Costa and other tips for hosting gatherings of more...

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The Government have announced that gatherings of more than 6 people are to be banned. But what do you do if your "Company AGM"...
Asda

Black Friday riots as Asda sell trolleys for £1

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Riot police had to be called to a Rochdale Asda today following a bout of civil disorder. Heavy discounts meant customers could purchase trolleys...

Stereotyping men now a hate crime: Rochdale cracks down on Misandry

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Several women were arrested this morning following a verbal altercation outside Rochdale's women's institute.The women who can't be named for legal reasons are being...
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson wins coveted softest mouth in Hull prison award

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Tommy Robinson has been voted HMP Hull's softest mouth award. Mr Robinson will be awarded the prize in a ceremony to be held on the...
Peter McCallister

Peter McCallister found dead after triggering booby trap

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Peter McCallister, has been found dead at the foot of his stairs within his home 671 Lincoln Avenue, Winnetka, Illinois. The Police are treating the...

Criminals allowed to break law in ‘specific and limited way’ 

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The Home Office has confirmed that British criminals will now be allowed to commit crimes in a 'specific and limited way' following the government's...
Brian Cox

Brian Cox to face Hague war crimes tribunal for 1997 hit Things Can Only...

21
Brian Cox is due to face a hearing at The Hague this week to face the charge that he is responsible for the deaths of more than one million Iraqis.
UK Police

Rising crime and falling numbers of police are incredible coincidence, insists Downing Street

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Rising crime rates and the falling numbers of policemen on the streets are just an amazing coincidence and are in no way related, sources...
Socks and a tie on Rochdale man's Christmas list

Paul Golding Christmas Carol

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Jingle Bells My cell smells It's gloomy and its rank I only pissed some Muslims off Now I'm sitting in the tank. Hey Jingle Bells This is hell I don't think...
Free Tommy Robinson

‘Off to free Tommy Robinson’ replaces ‘dropping kids off at the pool’ as UK’s...

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News is just in that spot poll of everybody in the UK has revealed today that the UK's favourite synonym for taking a dump...

Police fear French blogger killed in whipped cream accident may have topped herself

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The international irony reservoir was overflowing this week as news came through that French lifestyle and fitness blogger, Becky Fromage-Burger, was slain in her...

Rochdale Murderer Caught

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There was shock and disbelief amongst Rochdale motorists yesterday as the police went out and caught a murderer, instead of stopping poor innocent speed...

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