Fans of computer hacker extrordinaires and Internet fighters for justice, Anonymous, will be feeling very let down today with the news that the mastermind behind the whole thing is actually a 13-year-old spotty teenager from Rochdale.

The prepubescent scallywag has been plotting revenge from his bedroom against a whole range of deserving bastards for a few years now under the guise of a mass computer hacker organization, but is in fact a lone wolf using an Apple Mac on his bunk bed.

Due to his age police are unable to name him, but it’s understood that his mother has taken away his Xbox and his BMX, and he will be grounded for 2 weeks.

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.