Pooh denies grooming allegations

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Aging entertainer Winnie The Pooh is in the headlines again as yet another scandal dogs him. The bear, who was linked to a series of...
Criminal have pixelated faces

Study finds people with pixelated faces 70% more likely to commit crime

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A study carried out by some of the country's top criminologists has highlighted a surprising correlation between people with pixelated faces and a predisposition...
Donald Trump

Lord Lucan, Pol Pot, Martin Borman ,Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi and Boko Haram emerge from...

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An entire top shelf of global mass murderers have signalled they plan to emerge from hiding following the announcement by US president Donald trump...
Police

US Police Departments to consider offering black suspects running start before shooting them

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Following several nights of violence and riots across the United States in response to the death of George Floyd US police departments are said...
Paddington Bear

Outrage as Paddington Bear deported back to Peru

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Much loved star of children's literature, TV and films, Paddington Bear, has been arrested and deported to Peru, as part of a round up of...
Rochdale paramedics

Daily Mail Editor sectioned after being confused by photograph of white terrorist

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The Editor of The Daily Mail was carried out of Northcliffe House in a straitjacket this morning after a photograph of a white man...
Angry White Man Daily Mail

Government hires Daily Mail readers to beef up security strategy

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Downing Street has announced plans to employ Daily Mail readers as a team of specialist civilian advisers as it steps up efforts to improve...
Ronald McDonald

Ronald McDonald found dead close to his home

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The beloved obesity peddler Ronald McDonald was found dead in the street in the early hours of this morning. The cause of death is...

Daily Mail editor accused of Crocodile Tears following Polish migrant murder

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The editor of poisonous bog roll manufacturer, The Daily Mail, was accused of shedding crocodile tears by The Rochdale Herald after a Polish man...
Guantanamo Bay

G4S win contract to run Guantanamo Bay

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Top US officials today confirmed that security company G4S have been granted the contract to oversee all operations in the somewhat controversial detention centre...

Government to cut costs by putting prisoners in charge of prisons

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The Government has announced plans to cut costs by putting prisoners in charge of prisons. The announcement comes after the successful conclusion of a...

“I did not have fap relations with my work computer” says Damien Green

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The beleaguered Secretary of State is still denying accusations of downloading and viewing porn like a teen with two dicks on his office computer...

Racial profiling proves racist police guilty of racial profiling

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Two Florida police officers have been found guilty of being racially prejudiced in a Facebook trial. The damning evidence came when it was pointed...

South Yorkshire Police arrest tree during tree felling protest

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The long standing dispute over the unpopular and legally dubious felling of Sheffield street trees took a bizarre new turn when South Yorkshire Police...

Police call time on sex pests

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Paedophile sex pests across England and Wales are to be fitted with bells, in a new scheme announced by the police today. The new devices...

Daily Mail Editor suicidal with remorse over Jo Cox murder immigrant headline jibe

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There were scenes of jubilation around the country this afternoon after Paul Dacre "did the decent thing" and shot himself with a revolver after drinking half a bottle of scotch at Northcliffe House.

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