Black Friday riots as Asda sell trolleys for £1
Riot police had to be called to a Rochdale Asda today following a bout of civil disorder. Heavy discounts meant customers could purchase trolleys...
G4S win contract to run Guantanamo Bay
Top US officials today confirmed that security company G4S have been granted the contract to oversee all operations in the somewhat controversial detention centre...
Traffic chaos as ALF steal M62 cat’s eyes
The M62 was plunged into chaos last night following the removal of nearly 500 cat's eyes from the motorway at Junction 20 by the...
Study finds people with pixelated faces 70% more likely to commit crime
A study carried out by some of the country's top criminologists has highlighted a surprising correlation between people with pixelated faces and a predisposition...
Archbishop Welby kicks shit out of Nigel Farage following Twitter spat
Archbishop Welby is currently helping police with their enquiries in Westminster after allegedly kerb stomping Nigel Farage.
Dramatic confession as video found guilty of radio star murder
A 38 year old killing was finally resolved at the Old Bailey yesterday as Video Charles Robinson, commonly known simply as 'Video' was found...
Daily Mail claim Koran found propping up wobbly table leg in Thomas Mair’s kitchen
In a shocking turn of events, the Daily Mail have claimed police forensics have revealed to them that during the investigation into Thomas Mair...
Judge insists stabbing people is fine provided you’re rich and pretty
A Judge set a legal precedent today after ruling that stabbing someone is fine provided you are blonde, twenty four, have a posh name, great...
Government to cut costs by putting prisoners in charge of prisons
The Government has announced plans to cut costs by putting prisoners in charge of prisons. The announcement comes after the successful conclusion of a...
Trump a performance artist, claims Attorney
As the case against Trump supporter and white nationalist butt-nugget Matthew Heimbach heats up, his lawyer has said that Trump may well be called...
Fred and Rose distance themselves from Kanye
The solicitor for the notorious murderers Fred and Rose West have released a statement saying that Mrs West and her deceased husband are 'in...
Milk Tray man jailed for breaking and entering
A former chocolate delivery man broke into dozens of women’s homes over a 50 year period leaving unwanted chocolates and creepy handwritten notes.
Gary Myers, 76...
Man behind Anonymous turns out to be 13 year old boy from Rochdale
Fans of computer hacker extrordinaires and Internet fighters for justice, Anonymous, will be feeling very let down today with the news that the mastermind...
Men in Rural England “Shitting Themselves” as Helen Titchener Walks Free
Men up and down the UK will now be sleeping with one eye open and replacing all the knives in the house with plastic...
Scatter Cushion Killer walks free
Rochdale Crown Court today saw the conclusion of the now infamous "Scatter Cushion Slaying" case.
The accused, Abraham Smith (54), from the Sink Estate pleaded...
Tommy Robinson fitted with Cone of Shame
Ex-EDL frontman turned solo hate preacher, Tommy Robinson, has become the first human to be fitted with a "cone of shame."
Medical professionals deemed the...
