National News

A man who spent yesterday in London singing "Free Tommy Robinson" has said he thought he was entering a competition to meet him. Dave Wild told us, "I wasn't aware it was a protest. My...

Storm Ophelia is battering the UK and Ireland with gusts up to 80mph. After a report of a northern man tutting at a flurry of leaves and zipping his coat up, the Met Office...

Casual racism is set to become a thing of the past under new Prime Minister Theresa May. Shoe-obsessed Theresa May has announced plans to eradicate and criminalise half-hearted, jokey racism and replace it with fully...

Are you hanging loads of poppy's on the wall? Is your granny telling you stories about fighting in the Second World War despite only being 74? Have you finished all your shopping? Have you got your gifts...

Meghan Markle revealed that she's perfected the art of waving to thousands of people. The Duchess of Sussex was appearing at the Trooping of the colour to mark the Queen's birthday. The Rochdale Herald's waving expert,...

Buckingham Palace sources have reported that the Queen is currently trying to decide which of her Corgis to shoot first should Jeremy Corbyn be elected Prime Minister. One of our sources, speaking on condition of...

Prince William has appeared at the BBC and spoken out against the inaction of social media firms. He said in a statement statement that they aren't doing enough to counteract fake news. It's alleged...

Leading members of the Right Wing Nutjobs Association have been flinging accusations around willy-nilly to the amusement of 'leftie libtards' everywhere. Right wing nutjob Nigel Farage called Britain First a bunch of right wing...

Long haired Labour killer and plastic revolutionary, Russell Brand, has come under fire once again this morning after 'pranking' the granddaughter of the late Andrew Sachs. Sachs, best known for his role as hapless Spanish...

Authorities in Lancashire are trying to solve the riddle of a man in Rochdale who is now communicating with the outside world only by sighing. The condition, known as “fuckthissyndrome”, causes otherwise healthy middle-aged men...

The humble British Army entrenching tool, a short, squat, folding standard NATO issued 3-way shovel, pick and close combat weapon, has surged in popularity amongst British frontline troops as the piece of kit you can't...

A Lancastrian man fed up with the culture of 'fake brews' currently sweeping the nation has took it upon himself to show the masses how it's done. 3-bag brew drinker Stanley Spanner from Clitheroe...

Donald Trump told Theresa May that she should "grab the EU by the pussy" rather than ask for its consent, according to an interview aired on the BBC this morning.  Speaking on the Andrew Marr...

The team behind the bewilderingly popular series of computer games Call of Duty has revealed that the next instalment of the franchise will be set on Oxford Street during Black Friday sales.  The release follows...

Photographs have emerged of armed police confronting a diver on Rochdale's now notorious Stansfield Beach. In this most recent effort to enforce new laws forbidding outfits that cover the head and body, police forced...

The recent weather worries in Cumbria worsened this morning, after 12 minutes of unseasonable partial sunshine exposed a fell walker to lethal levels of the rare nerve agent Vitamin D. With local post temperatures soaring to...