National News

Fox News has accused the LA Police Department of institutional racism after a black cop shot a mentally unstable white veteran on the steps of the Nakotomi Tower on Christmas Morning. According to reports on...

Chris Grayling has announced that the Royal Air Force will be disbanded and its responsibilities outsourced to the Russian Air Force. Speaking from Ivan the Terrible Air Force Base in Lincolnshire Grayling said, "The Royal...

Researchers from London's natural history Museum have presented the results of analysis of DNA from 'Cheddar Man', Britain's oldest complete skeleton, prompting a spokesman for the far-right group Britain First to splutter "but....but....but....". Scientists...

Environmentalists have conceded that the environment has been saved and the ice caps are no longer melting after a Rochdale man remembered to take a carrier bag with him to Asda this afternoon. Rochdale man...

Britain and Spain are embroiled in a ferocious diplomatic incident after Boris Johnson hit King Felipe VI of Spain on the forehead with a spoon after mistaking him for a drinks waiter. The incident, described...

People who work from home are all looking oddly suntanned for people who work at their desks for eight hours a day, leading experts have confirmed. Following extensive research by experts at the Institute of...

According to reports the British man who has learnt to speak a foreign language fluently is to be burnt at the stake on Tuesday. Lord Rosetta, High Court Judge, has told reporters that Justin Milhouse,...

The town of Oldham, Greater Mancashire, has been praised by vegan activists, hipsters and liberal snowflakes alike for taking the progressive move of removing all references to meat from the town's name. Councillors confirmed radical...

In what police are describing as a “significant” counter-terrorism operation, thirty nine bus seats were arrested today on suspicion of being involved in jihadist activities. It is believed that police were alerted at around 8am...

Dozens injured after Chris Grayling attempts to throw hat into the ring for Conservative Leadership Several hundred innocent bystanders were left with horrendous injuries, many the authorities are describing as life altering, after a building...

Spain has confessed to the international community today that the word Tapas actually translates as 'not enough food'.  The revelation comes after local office drone Steve Dickinson, 42 and a half, lodged a formal complaint...

One of Britain's leading self-proclaimed driving experts was kind enough to give the Herald some tips on how to drive safely in the snow. "Don't brake," said Fred Goodhead, North region sales director for Rochdale...

Dominic Raab has announced that he has completed a very lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+. A spokesman for Mr Raaab told us, "At our away day in the north everyone  was told that they...

Motorists are being advised to avoid the M62 after reports of a dozen hungry rugby players from Burnley eating the corpses of stranded motorists near Ainley Top. The Daily Express reported cars were stranded for...

The BBC’s Royal correspondent, Nicholas Witchell, is currently under heavy sedation after attempting to storm the gates of Buckingham Palace. According to eyewitnesses, the journalist appeared outside the Palace gates at around 8am this morning,...

Jacob Rees-Mogg has, today woken up in 1818 after instructing his Valet to put his clock back 200 years. His Butler, Riff Raff told us, "He came downstairs for Breakfast at 8 to take his...