Researchers from London’s natural history Museum have presented the results of analysis of DNA from ‘Cheddar Man’, Britain’s oldest complete skeleton, prompting a spokesman for the far-right group Britain First to splutter “but….but….but….”.

Scientists have dated the remains, found near Cheddar in Somerset to approximately 10,000 years ago, putting him amongst the first people to inhabit Britain. Further analysis has proven that this “First Briton” was short in stature and had dark brown skin and blue eyes.

Paul Golding and Jayda Fransen, leaders of the radical hate group Britain First are reportedly furious with the findings.

In a statement written in crayon on the back of a packet of fags, a spokesbigot for Britain First told The Rochdale Herald “This is multi-culturalism being forced on us through the use of un-proven science…… and stuff.

“For a start, Briton? That’s not how you spell Britain and no-one even saw a cave painting of him or anything so how can they possibly know he wasn’t white. Jesus was white, we all know that so this is just rubbish.

“Also what’s cheddar got to do with it ? All that cheese could have mucked up the sciencing.”

When formally approached for a comment, EDL leader Tommy Stephen Yaxley-Robinson-Lennon was unavailable due to being apoplectic with rage.

Protests are scheduled to take place in Birmingham, Rochdale and Skegness this weekend with crowds of up to 12 people expected to march to the bus stop and back.

Counter protest are being organised by the group Hope Not Hate with thousands of people joining up to “point and laugh”.

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