National News

A teabag is currently entering its second month of lying in state on a little plate by the kettle in the kitchen. Barbara Dickinson of Rochdale placed the teabag on the little plate by the...

Jeremy Corbyn is the people's champion and the most popular politician in England, so, just how do the people of Rochdale think he lost an election? 5. The Stalin: our leader can do no wrong,...

The Government has released advice on what to do in the event of a 'no-deal' Brexit. The advice has the catchy strap line, "No-deal, not as bad as the Bubonic Plague". A Government spokesman said,...

Leave Means Leave, the new campaign group for bringing destitution and poverty onto the general UK populace have announced radical new plans to entice younger voters using discounts for Saga. One spokesman said, "After much...

Racists around the UK have been oddly quiet about the international paedophile network that has been operating in Rochdale, and everywhere else that matter, for centuries. "We usually get a flurry of 'why don't you tell us some...

Tommy Robinson has been explaining his disappointment at attending what he thought would be aa Koran burning event that turned out to be a Korean Barbeque. Robinson, speaking exclusively to The People's Friend said "I...

Prison authorities in the North West have announced an urgent investigation into why no prisons in the North West made it into the top 10 for acute violence. A spokesman said, "When you look at...

As reported yesterday, Muslim women have been on the streets in an adapted version of the burka in an attempt to integrate with middle aged gutbucket blokes from bastions of western civilisation such as...

A new experimental initiative has seen numerous British Muslim women swap their traditional full face veils for an outfit made popular by Top Gear's "The Stig." The aim of the trial is to make both...

A new experimental initiative has seen numerous British Muslim women swap their traditional full face veils for an outfit made popular by Top Gear's 'The Stig.' The aim of the trial is to make both...

A member of UKIP was today suspended when found reading a book that does not appear on UKIP's 'approved' list. The list, which includes Tommy Robinson's Mohammed's Koran, Mein Kampf, Nietzsche. Heidegger and rather...

UKIP have launched an immediate inquiry into how 3 of its members managed to read a map and several signs to find a book shop in London. UKIP spokesman Cliff Edge said, "At first we...

Health Minster Stephen Barclay has told of his bold plan to plug the shortfall of doctors within the NHS by employing geniuses from the University of life. Speaking to the Rochdale Herald he said, "For...

Right wing folk hero Tommy Robinson has issued a statement distancing himself for The Labour Party. The statement was issued in response to speculation that Robinson might run for Parliament on a truth and justice...

Britain has been warned that Brexit could be as bad as Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. The warning comes a week after the Government refused to deny that Brexit will be as bad as...

Police chiefs in England and Wales have been asked to contribute their best and brightest officers to a captive breeding programme due to be launched in the Autumn.  The move comes as Chief Constables from across the UK...