National News

Jacob Rees-Mogg,known to the internet as "Mogo",the scary haunted Victorian doll,has been revealed to be a hoax. Pictures of Mogo have been popping up on various political media, with a very posh voice-over telling politicians...

The Home Office has confirmed that British criminals will now be allowed to commit crimes in a 'specific and limited way' following the government's recent abandonment of the rule of international law. As long as...

Christine Gove, adoptive mother of Michael Gove MP has come out saying "he is still a bit of a bellend." It comes after the failed PM hopeful's shock return to the front bench. Gove, the...

We don't care if you've heard this joke before, because for us, it Feels Like The First Time. Dirty White Boy fan club Britain First have slammed Foreigner for it being Cold as Ice. This Foreigner...

The Foreign Office has denied allegations that a mobile phone issued to Boris Johnson when he was Foreign Secretary was found to contain 15,000 dick pics. A Foreign Office insider, Ivor Biggin told us, "It's...

A threat to riot if Britain failed to leave the EU on 31st October has failed after branches of Wetherspoons opened as usual this morning. Would-be rioter Stan Still told us, "I was all up...

Not drinking will make your life feel a lot longer, according to a study that suggests not being a little bit drunk every day will really smash home the tedium of your day to...

The Queen has announced that she exercise her right to crown Prince Harry and Meghan Markle King and Queen of the USA. During the announcement the Queen said, "Many people think that the USA is...

Jeremy Corbyn has told Labour MP's that they had better get behind Theresa May and her, "And then there were none" vision of Brexit otherwise he risks becoming Prime Minister. One MP told us, "Jeremy...

The Green Cross Code Man has been killed in Rochdale in a terribly ironic tragedy involving a silent Ocado electric delivery van and a mobile phone.

Doncaster residents Bill and Orla Board have been telling the Rochdale Herald how they have finally found a use for the speed boat they won on Bullseye 30 years ago. Bill told us, "It was...

In a world first a group of lads from Rochdale have posed the question, "why can't we just do something civilised and get a good night's sleep" when asked what they should do for...

Forget looking into your bride's eyes on your wedding day, you don't know what love is until you become a parent and hold your baby for the first time, says a patronising twat. Hugh Donnow,...

Warning: This article contains spoilers. Henry Profiterole, 35, was recently forced to admit that he had covered his 10 year old Vauxhall Zafira with slogans like “One Life, live it.” and “Zafira Sports” as his...

Flush from the success of Brexit, the EU Commission has been swift to demonstrate what the future looks like without a good hard Brit.  Orleans the morning of 14 February, President Macron's rallying cry...

A husband whose wife told him to do whatever he likes is still not aware that he really isn’t going to get to do what he likes.