National News

Old fat rogue, "Sir" Philip Green has been named in the House of Lords as the "businessman" behind an interim injunction in the latest #metoo scandal to surprise no one. For many years, his alleged...

Ryanair CEO, and Doctor Who Super Fan, Michael O'Leary reaffirms airline's commitment to the BBC series Budget airline Ryanair continues to work round the BBC ban on advertising with boss Michael O'Leary's cunning strategy.  This...

Daily Express readers up and down the country have welcomed the news of Duchess of Sussex's pregnancy by crossing all of their fingers and hoping to God that the baby is a ginger. The announcement...

Users of British Sign Language (BSL) have adopted an addition to their vocabulary. This is a reaction to a front page article in the Daily Telegraph claiming that Manchester students were being told to 'do...

The Government is to tell young people that they should move away from urban centers in order to pay less rent. With rents increasing in many areas where jobs are plentiful rent is now taking...

Biologists wielding enormous magnifying glasses today discovered a newt thought to be the world's smallest living thing. This infinitesimal being has been proved by scientists to have less substance than the Tory manifesto; less conscience...

Theresa May is to urge Tory delegates to get behind her theory that the Earth is actually flat. Mrs May is telling everyone they need to buy into her idea as there simply isn't time...

Palace sources reveal Philip's delight at Meghan's unusual approach to royal protocol Arriving at the Royal Academy of Arts to attend her first solo event since becoming a royal, Meghan stepped out of her car...

A Tommy Robinson supporter from Rochdale has told of his disappointment at discovering London isn't a Muslim no-go area dominated by Sharia Law. Cliff Edge told us, "I'd gone prepared. I was wearing my sunglasses...

There are fears a Beluga Whale spotted swimming in the River Thames may be a Russian spy. The whale was spotted earlier this week and it was thought it may be lost but there...

A Labour Party member who has attended their conference has been forced to deny he has joined a cult. Bill Board has spent the last week in Liverpool at the conference and told us, "I...

Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) has revealed that he was thrown out of the SAS for being too good. Mr Farage MP (just kidding) was speaking during his LBC radio show during which he announced...

There are fears that thousands of tea plantation workers in Yorkshire could lose their jobs as makers of Yorkshire Tea, Taylors of Harrogate, announced they are transferring tea farming to India. An announcement was...

UKIP's party conference has got off to a spectacular start with an evening torch procession in honour of Nigel Farage through the streets of Wolverhampton tonight. This weeks UKIP leader, Gerard Batten addressed the gathered...

Theresa May has succeeded in negotiating paying full price on a sofa from DFS. Mrs May was returning from Salzburg following the most disappointing trip to Austria since Kara Mustafa got to 17th Century Vienna...

A Wetherspoons customer has been forced to drink a 4 pack of lager for breakfast today due to staff at his local Wetherspoons being on strike. 64 year old Bill Board told us, "It's really...