The Government is to tell young people that they should move away from urban centers in order to pay less rent.

With rents increasing in many areas where jobs are plentiful rent is now taking up over 1/3 peoples wages in many areas. Cliff Edge said, “People are always complaining about rent in London. They should consider moving out of London. There are lots of places around it where rents are lower. For instance, Hastings has much lower rent and there are train links to London so you could commute.”

However, Millennial Bill Board said, “It’s true, Hastings is cheaper than many areas in London. I’d save £300 a month however, it’s £400 a month to commute to London from there. Also, I’d spend 4-6 hours of my day commuting depending on whether the train even turns up. Then, I have to live in Hastings. Have you seen Hastings? It still looks like the Normans have just invaded.”

Southern Rail, one of the providers of services to London from Hastings said, “I think Bill isn’t considering the positives of this. Our season tickets are very reasonable. Furthermore, Hastings has great links to the capital with trains running at least once a week. In fact, last week some people commuted there and back in one day. He shouldn’t dismiss this idea out of hand and should at least give it a go. Plus, standing around waiting for trains is a great way of meeting new people.”

Cliff told us, “I don’t know why he’s complaining. There are plenty of jobs in Hastings that Bill could do. Why doesn’t he just move there?”

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Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.