A Wetherspoons customer has been forced to drink a 4 pack of lager for breakfast today due to staff at his local Wetherspoons being on strike.
64 year old Bill Board told us, “It’s really selfish that they’ve gone on strike. I normally have a breakfast pint around 8 o’clock with my friend. Today I went down to the pub as usual, the lights weren’t on and nobody was serving. I tried another pub but they don’t even open until 12. I’m definitely not an alcoholic as I own my own home but I had to go to my local Costcutter and buy something called Centurion lager and a Rustlers burger and have those for breakfast. It’s disgraceful.”
Workers at Wetherspoons have decided to strike over low pay and conditions. Bill Board told us, “They should grow up. This is the real world and it’s not for namby-pamby’s. I worked 8 days a week as a gas lamp lighter during the Second World War and I never got paid. We were happy if we got away with shrapnel in the leg from a canon. You didn’t see us going on strike.”
When asked how he was going to survive the rest of the strike Bill told us, “I’ve bought something called a Fray Bentos pie. Apparently I just need to remove the lid and put it in the oven. You get the same effect as a Wetherspoons meal. It’s a bit technical though so I may just eat it raw. Either that or I’ll hire a prostitute and get her to cook it.”
There are fears that should the strike go on for any long period of time supermarkets may not be able to keep up with demand for Rustlers meals and Fray Bentos pies. One told us they’re stockpiling in case of a no-deal scenario which could see many branches of Wetherspoons closed for months.
