Yemenis Grateful That Britain Tidying Up Arms Deals

 Ordinary Yemenis have taken a break from being killed by British and American bombs and weapons to thank the British Government for tightening up its complete and total breach of its own rules of...

Trump promises to help Puerto Ricans who present him with dry US birth certificates

President Donald Trump has responded to criticism of his failure to rush aid to Puerto Rico in the wake of Hurricane Maria by promising to help Puerto Ricans who can present him with a...
Santa

Scandinavian ‘Too Drunk To Stand’ Following Drunk-Sleighing Arrest

Rochdale magistrates heard how a visitor from Lapland, Mr Nicholas Saint (1,747) created havoc in Rochdale with his erratic control over his team of excitable reindeer pulling a bright red sleigh.

President Trump has hopes dashed each time he hears ‘oui oui’ during French visit

Donald Trump is experiencing an emotional rollercoaster during his ongoing French visit because each time he hears a French woman say ‘oui oui’ he gets excited and then what he is expecting next does...
Cyclist in rain

Prize boffin apparently unaware of weather

The winner of this year's Dyson James Dyson Boffin Admired By Dyson's James Dyson Award, is Isis. No, not the naughty middle eastern twerps, a boffin whose name is Isis Schiffer. Ira, sorry I mean Isis,...
International Thundercunt

Trump claims their is good people on both sides of grammar nazi debate

President Trump has weighed into the grammer nazi debate by claiming their is good people on both sides. Discussions and arguments about correct use of grammar rage across the internet with many people specialising in...

IOC Vote Against New American Sport in 2020 Olympics

The USA's hopes to add another pointlessly American sport to the 2020 Olympic have been dashed by the IOC due to concerns over the scoring system. The USAOC had lobbied to have Police-State Violence -...
Mechanic

‘The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a car, is a...

"You want this sort of thing to happen less often? You don’t need to ban cars, you need to ban piece of sh*t, Nazi-sympathising, race-hating, white supremacist assh*les from marching through city streets with burning torches," said one Antifa protestor.
Trump

Trump allowed to leave Whitehouse on his own for first time

President Trump has arrived in Saudi Arabia on the first leg of his International tour. Before landing Mr Trump told the Herald, "We have much in common with Saudi Arabia. I like to promote members of my...

Obama quietly pleased his G20 riots were bigger than Trump’s

President Barack Obama, who was born in America, is said to be privately pleased the riots at G20 summits he attended were bigger than Donald Trump’s riots in Hamburg. It’s thought the former President of...

White House confirms all its press staff do coke

The White House has admitted today that all its press staff do coke. The admission comes after the latest mouthpiece for President Trump, Mr Scaramucci, has not just carried on where Sean Spicer left off,...

Outrage as American woman forced to wear hijab

Supporters of Donald Trump's travel ban have been outraged by this picture of a white American woman who has been forced to wear a hijab. Although the identity of the woman remains unclear, it has...

12th Doctor Who to Run for French Presidency 

Peter Capaldi AKA The Doctor has expressed an interest in becoming the French President at the next election. The current Timelord who is also famous for playing the sweary Malcolm Tucker in the hit...

Trump All Mexicans To Do Pinata National Service

US President Donald Trump has signed an Executive Order forcing all US Mexican citizens to be Piñata at white children's Birthday Parties. The "Piñata National Service" will entail Mexicans attending parties every third weekend dressed...
Trump in a barrel

American lawmakers to submerge Donald Trump in barrel of water to see if he...

It was announced today via The USA news site that Donald Trump will be immersed in a barrel of water to see if he floats. The operation is part of what are called ‘Presidential Witch...
Donald Trump

Trump to remove all right-wing terrorists from FBI watch-list in Operation Anti-Schindler

Donald Trump had been criticised by many for not denouncing the actions of the right-wing protests in Charlottesville. Then he declared there were people to blame on both sides, presumably the woman damaging the...

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