Trump Press Secretary buys fireproof underpants

1
The secret of Press Secretary Sean Spicer's propensity for hyperbolic bullshitacity has been revealed.  He has reportedly been wearing a revolutionary new type of asbestos...
Soldier

U.S. military buys Viagra after being told troops need to “be hard”

0
It has emerged this week that the U.S. military spend approximately £63 million annually on the popular medication which aids erectile dysfunction. This baffling...

Trump travel ban extends to Narnia

17
President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order adding Narnia to the travel ban and immediately excluding "followers of Aslan" from entering the...
Mike Pence

Jesus definitely said ‘Suffer the little children to come unto me, so I can...

0
The US Vice President, Mike Pence, has told reporters that the Trump administration's policy of keeping child migrants in cages is definitely consistent with the...
hand written notes

Trump apologises for misreading email.

1
President Donald J. Trump has apologised for misreading an email which has led to some bizarre policy announcements in the last few days. The President was...
Angry

Everybody is an expert all of a sudden, complains Norn Iron

Unusual moment of unity sweeps province. “Yous, yous only gives a shite if it affects yous,” a spokeswoman said today. “Unless something happens on the...
Angela Merkel

Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to fuck off in person

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Following historic meetings with world leaders such as Carwyn Jones and Nicola Sturgeon during her first week as British Prime Minister Theresa is set...

Over-exaggerating totally different to lying your arse off

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Swimmer and US gold medal winning bullshitter, Ryan Lochte, has sort of apologised for making things up. The lying git said that his description of...

Hurricane Harvey considered least destructive 2020 presidential candidate

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In an attempt to win back votes from the orange-painted tweeting shitangutan, the Democrats have turned to Hurricane Harvey to stand as their candidate...

Fact checkers are nit-picking liberal fascist pinko commies -claim Trump supporters

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Doubt is surrounding the Donald Trump presidential bid this week following Donald's bizarre lie riddled rant of an acceptance speech at the Republican Party...

CIA to dumb down intelligence briefings

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The U.S. Director of National Intelligence (DNI) Dan Coats, announced on Sunday that they will be cutting down the president’s daily intelligence briefings to a maximum...
Mechanic

‘The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a car, is a...

0
"You want this sort of thing to happen less often? You don’t need to ban cars, you need to ban piece of sh*t, Nazi-sympathising, race-hating, white supremacist assh*les from marching through city streets with burning torches," said one Antifa protestor.
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson launches ‘Free Robert Mugabe’ campaign

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The campaign is headed up by Boris Johnson who is thought to believe that if it's successful he could be the leader of Zanu...

Hammond to Create National Hoard

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In advance of Brexit negotiations Phillip Hammond is to bury all of the country's wealth in a hole in the ground. The hole, believed to...

Trump rally cancels book burning as supporters have no books to burn

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Plans for an official book burning at a Trump rally in Bumshart California had to be scrapped yesterday after it emerged Trump supporters in...

I married him for rugged good looks and winning personality claims Melania Trump

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Melania Trump has gone on the record to tell the world that she married Donald Trump not for his money but his rugged good looks, winning personality and his open minded views on immigration.

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