Farage takes on Eurovision
In a shock move today, the rubber faced, racist, people's champion Nigel Farage has announced his intentions to represent Great Britain in next year's...
Sponsorship deal agreed for new Emirates Notre Dame Cathedral
Following the destruction of popular prayer centre Notre Dame Cathedral, the Pope and President Macron jointly announced today that the gothic edifice would be...
That’s how you know you’ve fucked up No.72. Mass Shootings a Daily Occurence
America, land of the brave and home of the free as well as Donald Trump & Charles Manson, hit an important milestone this week....
Trump loses grip on reality, demands to be new Dr Who.
US President Donald Trump has called on the BBC to appoint him as the new Dr Who.
In a series of tweets at 3am this...
Specsavers Official Sponsors Of WWIII
Specsavers has announced it has signed a two-year deal as official sponsors of the forthcoming World War Three, with effect from mid November. The company...
Liam Fox Announces Trade Deal With Iraq
Liam Fox, Secretary of State For International Trade, has followed up the success of his charm offensive with Duterte, the leader of the Philippines...
ISIS claim extended warranty back on their washing machine
As the days pass and we see more and more terror attacks throughout the world, even though some aren't called that by the media...
Monkey spanking decriminalised in Italy
A man known only as Pietro L was charged with a public disorder offence earlier this year after being caught choking his chorizo on...
Climate Change is a hoax insists Texan on a raft
Despite his trailer having flooded and all his possessions being lost to water damage, defiant Texan, Ray "Buckeye" McCready is travelling around his home state on a makeshift raft to convince others that climate change is a hoax.
Moron who called moron a moron fired by moron
In a completely expected turn of events, a moron has fired the moron who called him a moron and replaced him with, presumably, another...
James Bond producers buzzing about Putin’s Cold War reboot
The producers of the James Bond movie franchise are said to be absolutely over the moon about Vladimir Putin's recent decision to reboot the Cold War.
ISIL in talks with Amazon over drone deliveries deal
An email has surfaced, from an anonymous source claiming to be from within Amazon, which suggests that the international distribution leviathan is in secret...
Trump rushed to John Hopkins with severe burns
Donald Trump is said to be in a stable but critical condition this morning after being rushed to hospital suffering from self inflicted third...
Special relationship means you ask me for stuff and I tell you to get...
Trump has confirmed that the status of ‘Special Relationship’ means that he basically ignores any request that Prime Minister May might ask of him...
Trump Introduces 2020 Presidential Campaign Mascot
President Trump took to the stage in Nuremberg, Florida, on Saturday in front of a crowd seen from space, to unveil his mascot for...
Obama quietly pleased his G20 riots were bigger than Trump’s
President Barack Obama, who was born in America, is said to be privately pleased the riots at G20 summits he attended were bigger than...
