Following the 45th POTUS’ increasingly alarming and inaccurate claims, statements and threats, it seems that one particular organisation has had enough.

The Alphabet released a brief statement in a letter to The Rochdale Herald signed by all 26 members categorically stating they wanted nothing further to do with the businessman-turned-entertainer-turned-vehicle of Satan.
In a follow up phone call, one of the group, who would only give his name as H, explained the reasons behind this development.

“For a kick off his memory and recollection are not doing us any favours for Covfefe’s sake. He can’t remember how to spell words, remember correct names, where his wife is, how much tax he has paid, how racist he is and that he is seriously under qualified for this or possibly any job.”

H also pointed out that this wasn’t just down to one man: “It’s not just his words either, we can’t handle the shit that goes down on social media.For example,there are that many variations on POTUS that my boys O,S,T and U are flat out and three of them are already overworked with film score listings. On top of that my cousin K’ s work has tripled”

Despite pretty much the entire population of the globe having a go, according to our source the Alphabet don’t feel that they can “still produce a word to describe the tiny handed, tangerine-faced, bullshit munching, daughter coveting, warmongering, hotel lobby loitering,pussy grabbing, deeply insecure twat-gibbon and we can’t be arsed with the Obama hating, nepotistic, dishonest, student swindling, healthcare denying uber-prick.

“That’s our final word.”