Trump asking his people to crack the nuclear codes in case he needs to...
‘I hope POTUS has his best people working on cracking the nuclear codes in case we go to war with that crazy man in Canada.’
Donald Trump to join list of ‘self-aware’ animals after recognising himself in a mirror
US President Donald Trump joined the list of animals capable of self-awareness yesterday, following reports that he may have finally recognised himself in a...
National Association of C#nts sue Florida for asking murderers to wait a bit to...
The National Association of Massive Cunts filed a lawsuit in federal court Friday in an attempt to block a Florida law to make murderous...
Screw Yemeni kids we make loads of money selling smart bombs to the Saudis...
It's absolutely fine that the UK supplies Saudi Arabia with the weapons that they are using to murder Yemeni children, Theresa May has told...
Border Control detain drug using hate preacher
Praise for Security Services for successful policing of border
A known hate preacher, in South Africa to sow racial tension, has been successfully detained by...
Oh for F**k’s sake – say world leaders following Trump nomination
Leaders around the world let out a simultaneous sigh of despair last night as the Republican Party confirmed Donald Trump's presidential nomination.
In yet another...
Tim Nice But Dim appointed UK Ambassador to the EU
In a surprise move Theresa May has appointed Tim Nice But Dim UK Amabassador to the EU.
I wouldn’t rape a fat woman, I have standards – says Trump
Thousands of Republican voters suffered serious head injuries yesterday after face palming themselves really hard during a Trump Rally.
Trump to meet Putin in Osaka for annual appraisal
The US and Russian Governments have confirmed that Donald Trump's annual appraisal will be held in Helsinki this year on the 28th of June.
The...
Biff Tannen secures Republican Party presidential nomination
The world was horrified but not terribly surprised to discover this morning that professional gambler and self-styled American oligarch Biff Tannen secured the US...
We’re going to build a wall and America is going to pay for it...
There was outrage across the United States this afternoon after the President of Mexico said "fuck this shit" and vowed to close the border...
Obama quietly pleased his G20 riots were bigger than Trump’s
President Barack Obama, who was born in America, is said to be privately pleased the riots at G20 summits he attended were bigger than...
Trump condemns dead soldier for not standing during national anthem
President Donald Trump has rebuked allegations of inappropriate comments made by the grieving widow of a US soldier today by pointing out her husband...
Home Office To Issue Migrants With Wearable Documentation
EU nationals currently living in the UK will require documents confirming their right to remain in the country post-Brexit, the Home Office has announced.
Speaking...
Sweden not rocked by terrorist incident
Hundreds of Swedes were not killed on Friday night by a terrorist attack. A suicide bomber, described by police as non-existent, failed to detonate explosives in a crowded shopping centre, or, indeed, anywhere else.
UKIP reveal solution to ‘Irish Problem’
Paul Nuttall revealed UKIP's Irish policy this afternoon and raised more hair than usual.
"It's clear Ireland is a problem as the United Kingdom hurtles...
