International News

Donald Trump has begun his seventeen day summer vacation on a high after winning an international competition at his private golf course in New Jersey with a hole in one through a difficult windmill...

DONALD TRUMP is believed to be in hiding tonight after the National Rifle Association called for a clamp-down on “rapid fire tools”. This has been widely taken as a reference to the constant stream of...

Donald Trump has demanded "they fire these sons of bitches" over the growing #takeafinger protests. A woman pictured raising her middle finger toward Trump's motorcade has reportedly been fired from her job over the photograph. The...

WASHINGTON: The actual real-life US President Donald Trump has achieved a normal score on a cognitive exam and is in excellent fettle, although he could benefit from a course of worming tablets and being...

Downing Street has confirmed that Gibraltar is to be closed. With the success of Brexit guaranteeing the ability to launder money in the U.K., at home, Gibraltar has outlived its purpose. "It's not like we'll need...

Leaked recordings of President Trump phoning vice president Mike Pence from a golf course appear to reveal the sitting president has offered Pence the presidency in exchange for a family pardon ticket. With the net...

There were extraordinary scenes in Parliament today as Boris Johnson spoke about the suspected poisoning of Sergei Skripal. Mr Johnson said, "If Russian involvement is suspected the Russian Government should expect a robust response from...

Other proposed titles in the series are, ‘Vladimir Putting and the Half Brained President’, ‘Donnie Trump and the Gob of Fire and Fury’, ‘President Trump and the Prisoner of Asshat’, ‘Donald Trump and the Magic Revolving Door of Power’ and ‘Donald in the Competition to be Crazier than North Korea’.

Donald Trump has called for a 'total and complete shutdown' of dinosaurs entering the United States after inadvertently watching the new trailer for Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. It is understood that the US President stumbled...

An angry teenager with the mental age of an eleven year old suspected of international terrorism offences has been arrested because he was wearing a distinctive red hat that matched one captured in CCTV...

A previously unknown Leonardo da Vinci work "My Spunky Pantaloons" has been bought bought by Charles Saatchi for £45m. The jizzy kecks will be displayed as part of a new exhibition at the Saatchi...

Police have arrested a small bald wizard in connection with the unsolved disappearance of six children between the ages of 8 and 15 at a fairground in 1983. The children; Hank, Eric, Bobby, Diana, Presto...

The Prime Minister of Spain has told voters that democracy isn't for them and it refuses to recognise the result of a referendum on Catalonian independence. Catalonia, which is Spain's answer to Scotland, has...

Electing Donald 'The Donald' Trump as their president was undoubtedly one of the most mystifying decisions made by the American people since changing the name of a Marathon bar to Snickers. That having been said,...

Mitch Landrieu, the Mayor of New Orleans has told has told us that he inadvertently summoned Donald Trump to New Orleans. The Mayor said, "I was going through a few things in my head whilst...

Couples who call each other Mummy and Daddy have been told by the authorities to pack it the fuck in or be faced with having their toenails removed with pliers and being fed to...