New American National Anthem Unveiled As ‘Donald Donald Uber Alles’
The United States is getting a new national anthem, it has been announced. An executive order has been signed replacing the old anthem, The...
Self-proclaimed ‘bestest dealmaker’ fails to do deal with Bruce Springsteen cover band
Idiots across America who voted for Trump because he told them he was really good at doing deals are surprised by the news he hasn't been able to do a deal with a Bruce Springsteen tribute band.
12th Doctor Who to Run for French Presidency
Peter Capaldi AKA The Doctor has expressed an interest in becoming the French President at the next election. The current Timelord who is also...
Bellend backs International Women’s Day by stopping sexist jokes for 24 Hours
A Rochdale man has received praise worldwide for the noble idea of celebrating International Women's Day by boldly telling no sexist jokes for the...
May sets UK up for long March to Brexit
Theresa May’s Conservative government have quite literally meddled with time in their pursuit of successfully completing Brexit according to their timetable.
The Conservative party used their parliamentary...
Chilcot stuns world with news that Pope is catholic
Sir John Chilcot has stunned the world by stating again that the Pope is catholic and so it seems is Britain's greatest wartime leader...
White House admits Trump thought Korean War was fought in Star Trek
The White House has apparently confirmed that POTATUS, Donald Trump, thought the Korean War was a war fought in the 1970's in Star Trek.
The...
Potential asylum seekers now to be meme tested
Following public outcry, The Home Office have announced new measures to establish the age of refugees.
Many Brits are shocked that someone who has had...
US Navy confirms gigantic sky penis ‘not aimed at any particular President’
US Navy officials have said that the penis drawn in the sky by one of their pilots using a fighter jet's contrails was absolutely...
Brexiter fury as Europe steals patented British Divide and Conquer negotiating strategy
Brexiters across this once mighty country were swearing into their fry ups this morning with the discovery the EU has a negotiating strategy.
"It's just...
Trump Campaign Seeks Divine Intervention
The Trump campaign appears to have taken an unprecedented new course today, with the release of a series of posters on social media.
The posters...
White House CCTV confirms Obama listening to Trump in Oval Office
Secret Service agents are reviewing White House CCTV footage this morning which Donald Trump believes show Obama inside the White House.
The footage, captured in...
Beekeeper stung to death after Danish Police force him to remove veil
Denmark was in shock today after a Danish beekeeper was stung to death in a tragic apiculture accident in Denmark.
The news comes just days...
Alcoholics Anonymous of America add 13th Step – Don’t Fucking Bother
After 63 years of success Alcoholics Anonymous of America have added a 13th Step to their eponymous programme - Step 13: Don't Fucking Bother.
The...
President Trump ‘leaves toilet seat up’ claims explosive new book
Washington has been shocked by a controversial new book which claims that, on occasion, President Trump forgets to put the toilet seat down.
The...
Four horsemen of the modern apocalypse revealed to be Fire, Fury, Sad and Fake
In a move designed to drag them kicking and screaming into the new era, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are to be retired...
