German families to heat homes using hot air from Donald Trump

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German families are to use the hot air that emanates from Donald Trump to heat their homes. The news was broken by the German Government...

Terrifying clown in next Stephen King film to be perma-tanned and have a combover

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Stephen King took to twitter today to reveal a juicy nugget regarding his next movie project, ’Idiot’, a sequel to ‘It’, will feature a...
Donald Trump

If it wasn’t for these pesky bone spurs I’d have stopped shooter myself, says...

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Actual real-life President of the United States Donald Trump told a press conference earlier today that if it wasn't for the debilitating bone spurs...

Irishman confused by difference between abortions and prosecuting women

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An Irish fella is presently proving himself more full of gas than a tinker's hound by spouting no end of shite on the twitters....
Boris Johnson

Britain threatens Russia with visit from Boris Johnson

There were extraordinary scenes in Parliament today as Boris Johnson spoke about the suspected poisoning of Sergei Skripal. Mr Johnson said, "If Russian involvement is...

Russian spies were visiting world famous Dutch ski resorts

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A group of alleged Russian spies who were apprehended in Holland have said they were there learning to ski on the world famous Dutch...
Steve Bannon

Crazy bastard calls crazy bastard a crazy bastard

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A crazy bastard who works in the White House has accused a former employee of being a crazy bastard. The crazy bastard apparently "disavowed' the...

Trump calls for ‘total and complete shutdown’ of dinosaurs entering US after seeing new...

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Donald Trump has called for a 'total and complete shutdown' of dinosaurs entering the United States after inadvertently watching the new trailer for Jurassic...

We tried democracy and Franco-ly it’s not for us, Spanish government tells voters

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The Prime Minister of Spain has told voters that democracy isn't for them and it refuses to recognise the result of a referendum on...
White House

White House denies that men in white coats are coming to take Trump away

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Electing Donald 'The Donald' Trump as their president was undoubtedly one of the most mystifying decisions made by the American people since changing the...

National holiday declared as USA goes 6 days without mass shooting

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This is the closest to a full week that the US has gone without a mass shooting since 'The Great Week of Peace' in...

All Homosexuals should be stoned, says Mike Pence

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Vice President of the US, Mike Pence, has finally come out - with a statement that may shock many Republicans. President Trump joked a year...

ISIS Second In Command Killed Again

The Daily Express has reported for the eighth time this month the death of so called Islamic State's second in command. "He was killed by...
Santa

The ‘Santa Clause’ prevents Article 50 from being triggered experts warn

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In a massive blow to the government, German lawyer Rudolph Shnitz has highlighted a clause in section 4 of article 38 dubbed 'The Santa...

Bellend backs International Women’s Day by stopping sexist jokes for 24 Hours

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A Rochdale man has received praise worldwide for the noble idea of celebrating International Women's Day by boldly telling no sexist jokes for the...
Sergei Lavrov

Kremlin accuse American spooks of lying to Trump

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The Kremlin has accused America's security services of treasonous behaviour after Lavrov's love in with Trump. A spokesman for the Kremlin released the following warning to...

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