Mary and Joseph arrested for health tourism

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Reports are reaching us that 2 people have been arrested in Judah on suspicion of being healthcare tourists. The pair say they are parents...

12th Doctor Who to Run for French Presidency 

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Peter Capaldi AKA The Doctor has expressed an interest in becoming the French President at the next election. The current Timelord who is also...
Gay Men

Gays seen boarding ark two by two in Texas saying ‘our work here is...

6
An ark has been spotted in Texas picking up a group of homosexuals who caused all the flooding there. The findings have come as a...
Donald Trump female

Mayor of New Orleans accidentally summons Donald Trump after saying ‘Hurricane’ five times

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Mitch Landrieu, the Mayor of New Orleans has told has told us that he inadvertently summoned Donald Trump to New Orleans. The Mayor said, "I...

Bellend backs International Women’s Day by stopping sexist jokes for 24 Hours

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A Rochdale man has received praise worldwide for the noble idea of celebrating International Women's Day by boldly telling no sexist jokes for the...
Sergei Lavrov

Kremlin accuse American spooks of lying to Trump

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The Kremlin has accused America's security services of treasonous behaviour after Lavrov's love in with Trump. A spokesman for the Kremlin released the following warning to...

OJ Simpson appointed White House press secretary

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Tongues are wagging in Washington today over what seems too convenient for coincidence as OJ Simpson is rumoured about to be appointed as Sean...
Trump

Trump ecstatic at 99% approval rating from alt-right protesters

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Speaking about the rally on Saturday Trump is alleged to have said, "There sure was a lot of people there. The press will say it was about 200 people. It looked about 45,000. That set a record. They all set a record. Obama never got that many alt-right supporters. They came because of me and I'm proud of that. It's my greatest achievement as President so far."
Gigantic Sky Penis

US Navy confirms gigantic sky penis ‘not aimed at any particular President’

US Navy officials have said that the penis drawn in the sky by one of their pilots using a fighter jet's contrails was absolutely...

Trump claims fitness app data proves he has more troops than Kim Jong-Un

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President Donald Trump told the world that "there's nobody better than me on the military" last night as he ushers in new era of...

Thoughts and prayers shortages in US reaching crisis point

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Shortages of thoughts and prayers for the victims of gun violence is said to be reaching crisis point this morning with many dead people...
Vladimir

Plucky underdog wins Russian Presidential election against all odds

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Vladimir 'Don't call this a comeback, I've been here before' Putin has surprised not only the people but himself by winning the race to...

When the world Trumps, you better dodge that draft

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Look at him. He’s the lad you thought was a prick at school but you still went round his house because he had a decent back garden for you to leck footy in. Except he was shit at it, and had right bad hayfever.
Trump Walking

Trump to visit Texas just as soon as the golf courses have been reopened

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Donald Trump has announced he intends to visit areas of Texas affected by flooding just as soon as the cleaning operation on Texan golf...

Trump’s Wall to be Made Out of Thoughts and Prayers

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The latest twist in the ongoing farcical shitshow that is the US President's attempt to build an completely pointless wall simply because he said...

Trump presidency result of Putin prank phone call

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Russian President and superstar house elf, Vladimir Putin, has revealed that the whole Trump/Russia thing is a prank that went too far. "Trump come to...

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