UK “unsafe” says Trump as British Armed Police “Worst in the World”

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Donald Trump has declared Britain "unsafe for US Citizens" as the UK Armed Police have been named the worst in the World on the...

US Closes Wardrobe Border Travel Bans on Narnians and Radical Followers of Aslan

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President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order immediately banning "followers of Aslan" from entering the US.  This will instantly affect talking beavers, centaurs...

“Are we living in Nazi Germany?” Tweets man backed by Neo-Nazis.

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Without any inkling of irony at all, a man who has the support of the USA's best and brightest Neo-Nazi....sorry, Alt-Right groups, and who...

Governor of Puerto Rico seeks Theresa May’s advice on how to rule an island...

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The Governor of Puerto Rico, Jorge Aliouet sent an urgent appeal to Prime Minotaur Theresa May tonight. The island of Puerto Rico has been devastated...

England cheated by playing better than us, says Steve Smith

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After England fought back to secure a well earned win against Australia yesterday, Australian batsman said that England "Cheated" by "Bowling really fast and...

Judge increases Shkreli’s prison sentence by 5000%

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Disappointed with the complete undervaluing of his sentence, disgraced former Hedge Fund Manager Martin Shkreli has insisted his prison sentence up by 5000% up...

Surprise and anger as Boris slips down the ‘worst diplomat ever chart’

There was consternation in Whitehall this morning as details emerged of several international diplomats who may in fact be much, much worse than Boris...

Haiti sends aid to holidaymakers whose trip to Disneyworld was cancelled

Heartwarming news reaching us from Haiti today after they'd heard that Amanda Bangor and her family from Norden had their trip to Disneyland cancelled because of...

Terrorists ‘disappointed’ to be rewarded with 72 vegans in heaven

Typographical error blamed for afterlife reward mix-up The five jihadists involved in last Saturday's Spanish terror attack have expressed 'disappointment' upon receiving the heavenly reward...

God refuses to put out Notre Dame fire until he gets 100,000 likes =...

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The 14th century cathedral has already lost one of its spires and a large section of roof in the blaze after a fire broke...
Pope and Trump

Pope Officiates At Funeral For US Democracy

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There was not a dry eye in the house today as Donald Trump, and the special ladies in his life, attended the funeral for...

Shit closer to hitting fan than yesterday

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Analysts and experts of faecal matters are saying that the shit, that was yesterday quite close to the fan, is now a bit closer...

Netanyahu Furious After Trump Scores Israel Lower Than Saudi Arabia In TripAdvisor Review

Prime Minister Netanyahu demanded an apology from the White House today. The move came after Donald Trump scored his Israeli short stay lower than Saudi Arabia...
Donald Trump

President Trump tells reporter to ‘lick my donkey balls’ and denies Donald Trump jnr...

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Donald Trump mounted a sustained attack on the media during a fiery and at times chaotic news conference today, aggressively denying that Donald Trump...
Trump Flag

All soldiers know what they are signing up for, that’s why I dodged the...

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The West Wing has been forced to defend President Trump against malicious disinformation about his health and state of mind for months. Allegations about his...

Chemical Attack was fake news says Asshat

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Bashir Assad has denied an attack on Khan Sheikhoun ever took place. “The attack was a fiction of the Western press,” said the Syrian leader...

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