Theresa May admits using ‘BREXOMATHICS’ to calculate number of overstaying foreign students
"It's so simple, you take a real number and keep doubling it until everyone's eyes light up," explained May pointing out that it worked...
Bad guys with guns get more practice complain good guys with guns
Good guys with guns in America went on the record this morning to complain they're unfairly getting a bad reputation after failing to prevent the 2078th successive mass shooting since 2,000.
U.S. prepares for Steve Bannon’s execution
Following an interview in which Steve Bannon compared himself to Tudor-era royal adviser Thomas Cromwell, America is making hasty preparations for the execution of Donald...
Donald Trump denies allegations he has rigged erections
The allegation was made by Anthony "Fandango" Scaramucci following his removal from post.
The President's former tiny-right-hand man lashed out indiscriminately at his former...
Donald Trump believes Nazi flags are adverts for fidget spinners
The President went on to suggest North Korea would be much safer if it followed the example of America and gave its citizens toys to play with and flags to wave like the patriots in Charlottesville yesterday.
Trump tells California, Cut down all the trees to prevent future forest fires
POTATUS has announced that if all the trees in California were cut down then there would be no forest fires.
POTATUS got the idea after...
Netanyahu accidentally condemns use of phosphorous based weapons on children
This week video footage of a possible chemical weapons attack on civilians, including children has emerged.
The footage shows men and children frothing at the mouth, whilst...
Trump restores American faith in Bush
Donald Trump has today been credited with restoring America's faith in Bush.
Dwayne Dwight of Alabama told the Herald "I was big into Bush in...
All guns to be armed with guns
In the wake of the latest mass shooting of innocent people to take place on U.S. soil, the National Rifle Association has issued a...
Sweden attack was 100 times worse than The Bowling Green Massacre says Kellyanne Conway
More details are emerging of the savage attack somewhere in Sweden on Thursday, or perhaps Wednesday involving one or less unknown assailants.
In a shocking...
Incest enthusiast congratulates infidelity enthusiast
Amateur golfer and incest enthusiast Donald Trump has congratulated the UK's infidelity champion Boris Johnson on becoming the latest worst Prime Minister in living...
ISIS claim responsibility for Windows 10 update
ISIS have released a statement taking responsibility for the latest Windows 10 update.
The religious group released a statement today saying, "The recent major update of...
I’m nothing like Steve Bannon – says Darth Vader
Darth Vader took to Twitter today to distance himself from "that evil bastard" Steve Bannon after Bannon compared himself to Darth Vader, Thomas Cromwell, Dick Cheney and Satan.
Trump hails Polish culture saying “Pole dancers are the best, I’m a huge fan,...
US President Donald Trump Thursday attempted to cement US-Polish relations in a speech delivered in the Polish capital Warsaw on the first day of...
Ernst Stavro Blofeld a serious contender for Head of FBI
The White House has announced this morning that Blofeld is on the shortlist for the next head of the FBI following Comey's sacking yesterday.
Outrage as American woman forced to wear hijab
Supporters of Donald Trump's travel ban have been outraged by this picture of a white American woman who has been forced to wear a...
