Toymaker confesses he made Melania Trump to keep Pinocchio company

0
A Tuscan toymaker has ended days of speculation by confessing he made a new female doll to keep his infamous, lying, long nosed boy...
Queue

Border Free Travel sounds like a good idea, says Brexit voter who queued four...

31
A Brexit voter who spent four hours queueing in passport control has suggested that maybe border free travel in Europe is a good thing. Jo...

Saying racists shouldn’t say racist things is racist against racists, Trump tells Democrats

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Donald Trump has taken Twitter to defend the rights of racists across America to say and do really racist things. "Racists are a minority just...

Breaking: The person trespassing on the White House has been revealed as Nigel Farage

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A spokesperson for White House Security has just confirmed that the intruder apprehended today was Nigel Farage. Mr. Farage was promptly arrested after scaling the...

God outs Gay Gay-Hate preacher with biblical punitive flood

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Pastor Tony Perkins, President of the Family Research Council and a particularly lamentable human being, has been hoist by his own petard and "outed"...
Man in tinfoil hat

Trump: tinfoil a good defence against mind control rays

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President-elect Donald J Trump has announced a groundbreaking and cutting edge technology to combat the growing menace of conspiracies facing the US. He is well...

National security at stake after Donald Trump gets stuck in revolving door

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The removal from office of Anthony "You're fired!" Scaramucci and Reince "You're fired too!" Priebus have prompted many White House insiders to consider the...
Trump Bed

Donald Trump insists the song “You’re so vain” was written about him

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The President of the United States, Donald Trump attended a party in the exclusive Hamptons recently and apparently walked in like he was walking...

Argentina offers to invade Falklands Islands for £1B if that will help May?

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A man claiming to represent Argentina has allegedly phoned the British prime minister and said for £1 billion they will pretend to invade the...
White Lives Matter

Bravery of white lives matter protesters saluted after US march

0
I was born white and as such I face discrimination on a daily basis. Only the other day I was told I couldn't have a job in Starbucks because I have a swastika tattoo on my face. Apparently it may offend customers. It's because I'm white.
Sorry Trump

Trump condemns dead soldier for not standing during national anthem

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President Donald Trump has rebuked allegations of inappropriate comments made by the grieving widow of a US soldier today by pointing out her husband...

White House confirms all its press staff do coke

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The White House has admitted today that all its press staff do coke. The admission comes after the latest mouthpiece for President Trump, Mr Scaramucci,...
Baby

Adolf tops list of most popular baby names for boys in USA in 2017

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For the first time in almost fifty years the name Adolf is topping the lists for most popular baby names in the United States...

Trump appoints Rochdale Herald editor chief of intelligence

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More details have been emerging of the structure of the Trump elected new administration which is taking shape. Amid the circulating rumours of secret talks...

Trump says he didn’t sexually assault 3.52 billion other women

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Bewigged bouffant buffoon, Donald J. Trump, an actual potential president, made the claim at his latest rally. The tiny handed eater of souls came under...
Good Friday Agreement

Good Friday Agreement to be replaced by Stupid Friday Agreement

4
The Good Friday agreement of 1998 has been replaced by the Stupid Friday Agreement of 2017. Prime Minister Theresa Mayhem has asked Northern Irish Democratic...

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