Donald Trump hospitalised with self-inflicted gunshot wound
Reports are coming in that Donald Trump has been hospitalised with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the foot.
ISIL in talks with Amazon over drone deliveries deal
An email has surfaced, from an anonymous source claiming to be from within Amazon, which suggests that the international distribution leviathan is in secret...
Malaysian PM offers Greg Wallace out for a scrap over “crispy” rendang remark
Chef John Torode and "diner" Greg Wallace, presenters of BBC's Masterchef, managed to piss the populations of two countries off this week by criticising...
Trump Team Dismiss 9 Year-Old ‘Body Swap’ Claims
A spokesperson for Donald Trump has described as “absurd” claims being made by a Wisconsin couple that the President-elect is actually their 9 year-old son.
Mike and...
Steve Bannon Torn Over Best Way To F*ck The Disabled
Following reports that Donald Trump will no longer repeal an Executive Order protecting LGBT rights, White House insiders have revealed that his Chief Strategist,...
Trump: tinfoil a good defence against mind control rays
President-elect Donald J Trump has announced a groundbreaking and cutting edge technology to combat the growing menace of conspiracies facing the US.
He is well...
Sweden not rocked by terrorist incident
Hundreds of Swedes were not killed on Friday night by a terrorist attack. A suicide bomber, described by police as non-existent, failed to detonate explosives in a crowded shopping centre, or, indeed, anywhere else.
Expat Moans About EU Citizens in UK
A British expat has hailed Parliament's rejection of EU citizens' right to stay in the UK post Brexit.
Speaking from beside his swimming pool at...
IRS look forward to “getting to the bottom” of Trump’s Federal Income Tax “I’m...
Surgical glove manufacturer Sphinctoraw Inc got a surprise order for 110,000 pairs of elbow length surgical gloves from the IRS.
The order was placed...
Bad guys with guns get more practice complain good guys with guns
Good guys with guns in America went on the record this morning to complain they're unfairly getting a bad reputation after failing to prevent the 2078th successive mass shooting since 2,000.
Paul Nuttall admits to FBI he passed US nuclear secrets to Russia
Paul Nuttall has sensationally admitted to the FBI that he passed US military secrets to Russia.
In a statement to the FBI Mr Nuttall admitted delivering...
Trump to celebrate Father’s Day by bathing in the tears of abducted child immigrants
US President Donald Trump is to celebrate his second Father's Day in the White House by having a bath filled with the tears of...
Trump appoints Rochdale Herald editor chief of intelligence
More details have been emerging of the structure of the Trump elected new administration which is taking shape.
Amid the circulating rumours of secret talks...
EU offers bribe of better UK weather if we remain
The European Union, desperate for the UK to remain, have said that the proposed European Standard Weather system due to come into operation early...
David Brent to sing Equality Street at Trump Inauguration
Following the shock withdrawal of Bruce Springsteen tribute band the B-Street Band from the Trump Inauguration David Brent is thrilled to announce that his band Foregone Conclusion have agreed terms to perform.
Gun reform fever sweeps America after social media backing for ELC mandatory insurance bill
After millions of tweets by gun lobbyists, alt righters and other winners at life, Congress has responded with draft gun reform proposals.
Some...
