Obama calls for ban on rapists and racists from entering public office
In a shock move Barack Obama has called for a total ban on racist narcissists, rapists and tax evaders from entering public office until he can figure out "what the hell is going on."
Collective relief as travel ban doesn’t apply to celebrity Muslims
People across Facebook and the Twittersphere have taken a collective sigh of relief online today at the announcement Trump's travel ban from people travelling...
Crack pot dictator arrives in Singapore to meet Kim Jong Un
Singapore: Crack-pot dictator and wannabe dictator Donald Trump has arrived in Singapore to meet crack-pot dictator Kim Jong Un.
It's hoped that the pair may...
Melania did not have sex with horrible old men for money admits Daily Mail
The Daily Mail have gone on the record today to say that Melania Trump did not and never has had sex with any horrible...
Judge increases Shkreli’s prison sentence by 5000%
Disappointed with the complete undervaluing of his sentence, disgraced former Hedge Fund Manager Martin Shkreli has insisted his prison sentence up by 5000% up...
Bill Clinton Finally “Boss of Me” after Hillary Loss
Bill Clinton will finally get to be “the Boss of Me” after Hilary’s stunning loss in the US Presidential Election.
“We’re looking forward to getting out” say nuclear weapons.
Nuclear weapons all over the world are today looking forward to their upcoming launch as an opportunity to stretch their legs.
With launch codes about...
EU to force UK to use £ s d following Brexit…
Brussels has warned that Britain will no longer be allowed to use the decimal system following Brexit and will be forced to go back...
Macron wants UK to give him head in return for Bayeux tapestry
Monarchists were today outraged by the suggestion by Emmanuel Macron, President of France, that the severed heads of the British royal family would be...
ISIS leader admits 2014 invasion was just a stag do that ‘got a bit...
WITHIN THE LAST HOUR the leader of the so-called Islamic State group, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, has issued a statement admitting that the whole thing was...
Donald Trump fails to mention the length of his penis in speech defending western...
Donald Trump left an eager crowd shocked in Poland today when he failed to mention the length of his schlong once during a rousing...
Hard Core Fans Dismayed as PJ Harvey Admires Theresa May’s Shoes
Hardcore fans of uncompromising musician Polly Jean (PJ) Harvey have reacted angrily to their musical idol expressing admiration for Prime Minister Theresa Mary May's...
Spanish bullfighters win inaugural Animal Cruelty World Cup
Spain’s bullfighters have won the inaugural Animal Cruelty World Cup in Brazil, narrowly beating the foxhunters of England in the final.
The competition, in...
Trump asking his people to crack the nuclear codes in case he needs to...
‘I hope POTUS has his best people working on cracking the nuclear codes in case we go to war with that crazy man in Canada.’
Donald Trump to join list of ‘self-aware’ animals after recognising himself in a mirror
US President Donald Trump joined the list of animals capable of self-awareness yesterday, following reports that he may have finally recognised himself in a...
Trump loses grip on reality, demands to be new Dr Who.
US President Donald Trump has called on the BBC to appoint him as the new Dr Who.
In a series of tweets at 3am this...
