Giuliani wins Black Man of the Year

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Raving Republican Trump-nugget and ex New York mayor, Rudy Giuliani, was voted Black Man of the Year today after it turned...
Michael Flatley

Michael Flatley confirmed as world’s second biggest wanker

5
Rhino horn collector and jig enthusiast Michael Flatley confirmed today that he is the World's second biggest wanker after announcing he will perform a jig at Trump's Inauguration Ball.
Donald Trump

All options on table including surprise missile attack on Tuesday, Trump tells Syria on...

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Actual real-life president of the United States of America Donald Trump has tweeted that Russia and Syria should get smart and expect a surprise...
Santa

Scandinavian ‘Too Drunk To Stand’ Following Drunk-Sleighing Arrest

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Rochdale magistrates heard how a visitor from Lapland, Mr Nicholas Saint (1,747) created havoc in Rochdale with his erratic control over his team of excitable reindeer pulling a bright red sleigh.
Spanish Inquisition

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition, says King Felipe of Spain

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During his state visit, the king of Spain addressed the British parliament yesterday. All went well until the king dropped the G-bomb: Gibraltar. A...

Conspiracy theorists concerned nobody might be in charge after all

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American conspiracy theorists heads are exploding at an alarming rate as the two main presidential candidates get more and more terrible. "Up until yesterday I was...
Gun held in front of American flag

Fatal logic feedback loop kills five more Americans

2
America has once again been proved right as yet another mass shooting takes place in shopping mall and nobody armed inside could shoot the...
Donald Trump

Too soon since last mass shooting and not long enough before next one to...

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In the wake of the latest mass shooting in a bar in Ohio that has claimed the lives of at least 9 people The White...
Lego logo

Lego let go of Trump

It has been revealed this week that toy manufacturing giants Lego will not produce a figure of president elect Donald Trump. Many have regarded this...
Independence Day

Trump leads Independence day celebrations by honouring Goldblum and Smith

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It's the 4th of July national holiday, the anniversary of Independence day in the United States of America. A day when the patriotic celebrate...

President Trump to ‘grab May by the pussy’

6
Donald Trump may touch the UK prime minister's vagina in their first private meeting, the president has tweeted. The straw-haired misogynist wrote, "Excited to meet...
ISIS

Isis Claims Responsibility for Education Fair Funding Formula Terror

In a shock announcement this morning, that surprised no one, a spokes-stool for Isis (other names are available) claimed credit for the proposed funding...
Obama and Biden

Obama and Biden spend last afternoon playing ‘hide the turd’ at White House

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Outgoing President and his VP Joe Biden have spent their last afternoon in office playing 'hide the turd' in The White House.

Hartman on Trump – POTUS’s US Marine Corp induction transcript revealed

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Following the sad and untimely death of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman of the US Marine Corps, The Rochdale Herald has obtained an exclusive transcript of...

Facebook Year in Review video reinforces depressed lonely man’s belief that his friendless existence...

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Retired upholsterer, Brian Mould, was thrilled to see a bespoke video of his 2016 appear on his Facebook newsfeed earlier this week. Filled with anticipation...
Donald Genius Trump

Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump to measure micro-willies at summit

Thin-skinned, narcissistic, alternative-reality dwelling clown Donald Trump and "Nuclear" lunatic Kim-Jong Un are to make history by meeting later in the year to engage...

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