Trump orders 700 billion pieces of LEGO

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The President Elect reportedly ordered a vast amount of the interconnecting bricks earlier today. LEGO CEO, Jørgen Vig Knudstorp, said; "Obviously we are thrilled to...

Steve Bannon Torn Over Best Way To F*ck The Disabled

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Following reports that Donald Trump will no longer repeal an Executive Order protecting LGBT rights, White House insiders have revealed that his Chief Strategist,...
Gun old lady

Why does this keep happening, ask imbeciles who keep selling guns to people who...

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Fuckwits in America who keep blocking gun control reform have been forced to once again ask the question "why do mass shootings happen over...
Donald Trump

People hoping absolute power will moderate narcissistic bully

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Political analysts are speculating that now Donald Trump is leader of the free world his personality will metamorphose into that of a wise leader...
Trump

Man with record of making unproveable and unsubstantiated claims claims something unproveable and unsubstantiated

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Serial unproveable and unsubstantiated claim maker Anthony Gilberthorpe, 54, has come to the defence of serial gropist Donald Trump.
Mel Brooks

Mel Brooks confirms rework of The Producers starring Donald Trump about to climax

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Veteran comic Mel Brooks, 91, has confirmed that his ambitious live action show, The President, will end shortly with a musical impeachment. Speaking at...
Theresa May

Theresa May admits using ‘BREXOMATHICS’ to calculate number of overstaying foreign students

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"It's so simple, you take a real number and keep doubling it until everyone's eyes light up," explained May pointing out that it worked...

Trump’s travel ban now badge of merit as countries begin adding themselves voluntarily

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President Donald Trump, perhaps the funniest American president since the last republican one, has hailed the success of his travel ban after many countries...

Trump appoints Rochdale Herald editor chief of intelligence

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More details have been emerging of the structure of the Trump elected new administration which is taking shape. Amid the circulating rumours of secret talks...

EU offers bribe of better UK weather if we remain

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The European Union, desperate for the UK to remain, have said that the proposed European Standard Weather system due to come into operation early...

No Government is better than a bad Government Italy tells UK

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Italian President, Sergio Mattarella has told the UK that having no Government is better than having a bad Government following the Italian people electing to go with...

Trump apology shocks nation   

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In a move that has shocked the world the shredded wheat headed presidential candidate Donald Trump has actually apologised for something. His apology was aimed...
Trump voters deface police recruitment poster with Trump Sticker

Trump voters deface Police posters with Trump stickers

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Police Officers in Bumshart Nebrahoma were furious to discover that recruitment posters around the town had been defaced with pictures of Donald Trump. The multi-million...
Paris

Meghan Markle’s mum ecstatic with trip to Paris courtesy of Duke of Edinburgh

Meghan Markle's mum, Doria Ragland is reported to be over the moon with the trip to Paris that the Duke of Edinburgh has given...
Angry Man

UK to mobilise army of “social media warriors” to protect Gibraltar

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With no aircraft carriers and military resources already overstretched in Afghanistan, the Ministry of Defence has announced that it is calling up the UK's "third force"...

Trump nominates Bill Cosby for US Supreme Court

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Bill Cosby has been elected to the US Supreme Court after being sentenced for sex assault. Cosby, who today received a 10 year sentence for...

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