“We’re looking forward to getting out” say nuclear weapons.
Nuclear weapons all over the world are today looking forward to their upcoming launch as an opportunity to stretch their legs.
With launch codes about...
Shit closer to hitting fan than yesterday
Analysts and experts of faecal matters are saying that the shit, that was yesterday quite close to the fan, is now a bit closer...
Trump asking his people to crack the nuclear codes in case he needs to...
‘I hope POTUS has his best people working on cracking the nuclear codes in case we go to war with that crazy man in Canada.’
Donald Trump to join list of ‘self-aware’ animals after recognising himself in a mirror
US President Donald Trump joined the list of animals capable of self-awareness yesterday, following reports that he may have finally recognised himself in a...
Trump hails record amount of pussy to grab in the House of Representatives
Donald Trump has spoken of how great it is that there's now so much pussy to grab when he next visits the House of...
North Korea won’t be happy until someone else tests a nuclear warhead on their...
North Korea state media shouted the revelation this morning that Kim Jong-un won’t be happy until someone else tests a nuclear warhead on North...
Palestinians Recognise Scunthorpe as Capital of US, Answering Question ‘Who put the ‘Trump’ in...
Following the United States decision to recognise Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, the Palestinian authorities have entered into the spirit of things and...
Trump Spokesman Revealed As Black Knight
The Herald can exclusively reveal today that the Trump campaign aide, Michael Cohen, is the mysterious Black Knight.
The secretive warrior and guard to stuff...
Trump orders Fabergé selfie-stick for inauguration
In preparation for his inauguration ceremony, President elect Trump has commissioned Fabergé, the esteemed and historic jewellery makers to the Russian emperors, to craft...
Trump thrilled crowds at his German rallies bigger than Obama’s
President Donald Trump has spoken of his delight at how many people have come onto the streets of Hamburg to welcome him to Germany.
The...
ISIS claim extended warranty back on their washing machine
As the days pass and we see more and more terror attacks throughout the world, even though some aren't called that by the media...
James Bond producers buzzing about Putin’s Cold War reboot
The producers of the James Bond movie franchise are said to be absolutely over the moon about Vladimir Putin's recent decision to reboot the Cold War.
May to appeal to Supreme Court ruling at European Court of Justice
In a move that has thoroughly confused political observers, Theresa May has instructed the Attorney General to appeal today's Supreme Court judgement on Article...
Saying racists shouldn’t say racist things is racist against racists, Trump tells Democrats
Donald Trump has taken Twitter to defend the rights of racists across America to say and do really racist things.
"Racists are a minority just...
Special relationship means you ask me for stuff and I tell you to get...
Trump has confirmed that the status of ‘Special Relationship’ means that he basically ignores any request that Prime Minister May might ask of him...
National security at stake after Donald Trump gets stuck in revolving door
The removal from office of Anthony "You're fired!" Scaramucci and Reince "You're fired too!" Priebus have prompted many White House insiders to consider the...
