Julian Assange plans quiet Christmas at home

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Julian Assange has confirmed that he will be having a quiet Christmas at home this year. In a telephone call Mr Assange told us,...
Muhammadu Buhari

President of corrupt shithole country to meet President of Nigeria Muhammadu Buhari

Nigerian President Muhammadu Buhari will become the first leader from sub-Saharan Africa to be received by the President of the corrupt North American tin...

England cheated by playing better than us, says Steve Smith

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After England fought back to secure a well earned win against Australia yesterday, Australian batsman said that England "Cheated" by "Bowling really fast and...

David Duke retracts Trump endorsement saying no room for “locker room banter” in politics

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In sensational news today David Duke, the former head of the Ku Klux Klan, has withdrawn his support for Republican Presidential Candidate Donald Trump.
Dumpster Fire

Dumpster fires unhappy about comparisons to US Democracy

13
Skip fires around the world have declared they are unhappy with being compared to the US democratic process.
Donald Trump Wig

‘News media so fake’ says perma-tanned, toupee-wearing septuagenarian

21
The world's favourite orange leader has been ranting about his pet hate once again. The issue of so-called “Fake news” is now well within...
Trump Supporters

Trump discovers one weird trick to increasing attendance at his rallies

3
The White House has confirmed that Donald Trump has found a weird trick to increasing attendance at his rallies. During a speech given to Texas...

Despair after terrible person makes valid point

A man has been left bereft of all hope for the future after discovering that the worst person he knows might have made a...

Trump marks Martin Luther King weekend with burning cross on White House Lawn

3
US President elect, Donald Trump, will be hosting a tribute event for Martin Luther Day

Clinton Email Cache Found in Historic Exeter Hotel

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The American election process was thrown into confusion yesterday when the FBI moved into the Royal Clarence Hotel, Exeter, in search of a hidden...

Donald Trump to join list of ‘self-aware’ animals after recognising himself in a mirror

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US President Donald Trump joined the list of animals capable of self-awareness yesterday, following reports that he may have finally recognised himself in a...

We did have a Kermit at protest insist violent alt-left anti-Nazi protestors

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The anti-Nazi protestors who were in Charlottesville over the weekend have responded furiously to Donald Trump's remarks this morning releasing a statement which read. "We...
Redneck

Burning American flag saved after hero puts out fire using black man

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A flag of the United States of America was saved from burning today after a brave patriot quelled the flames using an African American...

Donald Trump could pardon himself of crime he definitely didn’t commit

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Donald Trump could pardon himself of a crime he repeatedly says he hasn't committed. That's according to his lawyer, Rudy Giuliani. Giuliani said, "It may...
International Thundercunt

Trump celebrates success of travel ban as many developed countries join voluntarily

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President Donald Trump, perhaps the funniest American president since the last republican one, has hailed the success of his travel ban after many developed...

Trump Spokesman Revealed As Black Knight

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The Herald can exclusively reveal today that the Trump campaign aide, Michael Cohen, is the mysterious Black Knight.   The secretive warrior and guard to stuff...

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