Border Control detain drug using hate preacher
Praise for Security Services for successful policing of border
A known hate preacher, in South Africa to sow racial tension, has been successfully detained by...
Rank outsider sweeps to completely surprising victory in Turkish Presidential election
A rank-outsider has swept to victory in Turkey's presidential election defying the odds to secure a third five year term.
Election authority chief said "imagine...
Macron roasts Le Swan
Emmanuel Macron last night served up a beautifully roasted swan at his victory dinner. The new French President was celebrating his victory with close...
Donald Trump to join list of ‘self-aware’ animals after recognising himself in a mirror
US President Donald Trump joined the list of animals capable of self-awareness yesterday, following reports that he may have finally recognised himself in a...
Oh,For f*ck’s Sake Most Commonly Used Phrase Of 2016
Oh, for fuck’s sake said everyone this morning, following reports of more people dying at the hands of total arseholes.
After news broke of the...
Sponsorship deal agreed for new Emirates Notre Dame Cathedral
Following the destruction of popular prayer centre Notre Dame Cathedral, the Pope and President Macron jointly announced today that the gothic edifice would be...
Democratic Democrats protest against anti-democratic democracy
Protesters smashed windows and turned violent in Oregon and a few other places last night.
“Trump is anti-democratic!” yelled the crowd protesting against the man...
Trump’s spin doctor quits complaining of dizzy spells
Donald Trump's chief spin doctor Tuesday quit his job in the White House complaining of "dizzy spells".
Mike Dubke, who only took up the role...
Trump to play 25 rounds of golf in honour of Texan dead
Donald Trump has defended a decision to play 25 rounds of golf in Japan saying it's in honour of the dead in Texas.
The gesture...
Trump celebrates success of travel ban as many developed countries join voluntarily
President Donald Trump, perhaps the funniest American president since the last republican one, has hailed the success of his travel ban after many developed...
Anyone actively calling for a war to be automatically drafted to the front line
Anybody saying there should be a war may be required to put their money where their mouth is in future.
In a new bid to...
Trump to meet Putin in Osaka for annual appraisal
The US and Russian Governments have confirmed that Donald Trump's annual appraisal will be held in Helsinki this year on the 28th of June.
The...
Comedians Safe To Call Erdogan A Farthead
Comedians and satirists heaved a sigh of relief today as the prosecution of German comic Jan Böhmermann bubble Erdogan was dropped.
"Finally! Finally! Finally!" said...
Trump turns down White House sexual harassment course because ‘I’m already pretty good at...
News broke this morning that Donald Trump has turned down an offer from the White House human resources department to attend a special course...
Trump locked out of nuclear football after entering incorrect code three times and forgetting...
Apparently POTUS did get Ivanka to click on the “forgotten your password?” help icon on the device that destroys worlds and was offered a series of security questions in order to reset his password.
Climate Change is a hoax insists Texan on a raft
Despite his trailer having flooded and all his possessions being lost to water damage, defiant Texan, Ray "Buckeye" McCready is travelling around his home state on a makeshift raft to convince others that climate change is a hoax.
