Yemeni Children

Screw Yemeni kids we make loads of money selling smart bombs to the Saudis...

0
It's absolutely fine that the UK supplies Saudi Arabia with the weapons that they are using to murder Yemeni children, Theresa May has told...
Duke Brothers

Trump Presidency revealed as elaborate Duke Brothers $1 bet

8
Reclusive Wall Street tycoons the Duke Brothers have been at it again, this time betting against US Democracy.
Katy Hopkins dressed as Virgin Mary

Coal prices spike on news of Katy Hopkins’ incineration

0
International coal prices have jumped to $120 a tonne, their highest since 2011, following news that a British court has sentenced Daily Mail columnist...

Trump Spokesman Revealed As Black Knight

0
The Herald can exclusively reveal today that the Trump campaign aide, Michael Cohen, is the mysterious Black Knight.   The secretive warrior and guard to stuff...
Man with shocked face

Trump appoints David Duke to head Black Lives Don’t Matter initiative

0
Dr David Duke, former Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan, Senate hopeful and all American Nazi Screwball, has accepted President Elect Donald Trump’s offer of a key advisory role in his new government.
Trump Airplane

Trump locked out of nuclear football after entering incorrect code three times and forgetting...

28
Apparently POTUS did get Ivanka to click on the “forgotten your password?” help icon on the device that destroys worlds and was offered a series of security questions in order to reset his password.
Putin Appraisal

Trump to meet Putin in Osaka for annual appraisal

The US and Russian Governments have confirmed that Donald Trump's annual appraisal will be held in Helsinki this year on the 28th of June. The...

We’re going to build a wall and America is going to pay for it...

0
There was outrage across the United States this afternoon after the President of Mexico said "fuck this shit" and vowed to close the border...

Donald Trump hospitalised with self-inflicted gunshot wound

0
Reports are coming in that Donald Trump has been hospitalised with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the foot.

U.S transgender community ‘relieved’ they will not die fighting for Trump

0
As President Trump, leader of the free world, announced that transgender citizens would no longer be allowed to serve the U.S. Armed forces in...
Donald Trump

People hoping absolute power will moderate narcissistic bully

0
Political analysts are speculating that now Donald Trump is leader of the free world his personality will metamorphose into that of a wise leader...

Queen to greet Donald Trump with narwhal tusk

0
Buckingham Palace has refused to confirm rumors that the Queen will greet Donald Trump with a narwhal tusk during his visit to the UK...

Singing Ringing Tree to be felled for post-Brexit firewood

0
Britain's exit from the European Union is set to spell the end for some of the country's best loved children's TV programmes, it was...
Mel Brooks

Mel Brooks confirms rework of The Producers starring Donald Trump about to climax

4
Veteran comic Mel Brooks, 91, has confirmed that his ambitious live action show, The President, will end shortly with a musical impeachment. Speaking at...

Liam Fox Seeks Trade Deal With ISIS

International Trade Secretary Liam Fox will fly into Iraq later today in the hope of securing a trade deal with the so-called 'Islamic State'. Fox...
Venezuela

Sinn Fein election observer confirms Venezuelan blowjobs, cocaine and elections are best in world

"I've had my share of blowjobs," confirms Jarry Odoms, mouthpiece of Sinn Fein. "But nobody does erections, I mean elections, like the Venezuelans. Now...

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