Trump trumped by top trumpeters

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Six anti-Trump trumpeters who had been tunefully disrupting the presidential candidate on the campaign trail have been silenced - temporarily.  The musicians from the San...

Barclays customer sent to Guantanamo after overdraft complaint

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A Rochdale man has been kidnapped by US intelligence services and sent to Guantanamo Bay after he complained to his local Barclays Bank about...
Drinking

Consternation as Britain drops out of top 10 drinking nations

There was consternation last night when it was revealed that the United Kingdom has dropped to 12 in the global drinking league tables. The country has...
Gigantic Sky Penis

US Navy confirms gigantic sky penis ‘not aimed at any particular President’

US Navy officials have said that the penis drawn in the sky by one of their pilots using a fighter jet's contrails was absolutely...
If we can pay for food we can pay for rockets - say NASA

If we can pay for food we can pay for rockets – say NASA

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American space go-getters NASA are said to be up in arms about budget restrictions while there is still enough money available to feed some...
Donald Trump

White House admits Trump thought Korean War was fought in Star Trek

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The White House has apparently confirmed that POTATUS, Donald Trump, thought the Korean War was a war fought in the 1970's in Star Trek. The...

Thoughts and prayers shortages in US reaching crisis point

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Shortages of thoughts and prayers for the victims of gun violence is said to be reaching crisis point this morning with many dead people...

May to wear codpiece and alpha male pig hormone for Trump meeting

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In a bid to protect from pussy grabbing and give the impression of a large penis and aura of dominance, Theresa May will today...

We tried democracy and frankly it’s not for us, Spanish government tells voters

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The Prime Minister of Spain has told voters that democracy isn't for them and it refuses to recognise the result of a referendum on...

Man-child chickens out of UK visit because people said mean things about him

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Man-child and completely stable genius Donald Trump has reportedly cancelled his planned visit to the UK next month, according to the White House. Trump was...

Trump and Kim Jong Un to meet on Love Island

A rearranged summit between Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un will take place on Love Island.  The news comes amid speculation that a high ranking...
Dominic Raab

Dominic Raab announces sanctions on Isle of Aran

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Foreign Secretary, Dominic Raab has announced sanctions on the Isle of Aran. Mr Raaab announced the sanctions during a visit to Blackpool Tower in...
Trump Walking

Trump to visit Texas just as soon as the golf courses have been reopened

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Donald Trump has announced he intends to visit areas of Texas affected by flooding just as soon as the cleaning operation on Texan golf...

Conspiracy theorists concerned nobody might be in charge after all

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American conspiracy theorists heads are exploding at an alarming rate as the two main presidential candidates get more and more terrible. "Up until yesterday I was...
Donald Trump

All options on table including surprise missile attack on Tuesday, Trump tells Syria on...

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Actual real-life president of the United States of America Donald Trump has tweeted that Russia and Syria should get smart and expect a surprise...

Donald’s diddy digits dodge draft

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As the smokescreen around Donald Trump's draft dodging tactics intensifies The Rochdale Herald has uncovered startling new evidence. The story currently being spun is that...

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