Current crop of World leaders worse than horse shagging Roman Emperor says Politics Professor
The world is not going to hell in a handcart, it's going in a speeding fucking Formula 1 Ferrari, according to Bésemecula Adiós, professor...
Your 60 second news round-up
Here's The Rochdale Herald's round-up of today's important news headlines:
- UKIP leader's girlfriend is a nasty little racist
- Nicola Sturgeon backs a second Scottish...
Get your hands out of Ivanka’s knickers, White House orders media
White House press secretary Sean "Ginger" Spicer has issued an ultimatum to the US media in the wake of the growing row over the...
Hartman on Trump – POTUS’s US Marine Corp induction transcript revealed
Following the sad and untimely death of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman of the US Marine Corps, The Rochdale Herald has obtained an exclusive transcript of...
Mexican earthquake disaster: whose faultline is it anyway?
At the Herald, we do not make fun of the suffering of innocent disaster victims, but we do point fingers. Less Mock the Weak,...
Thank God it was a lone wolf with mental issues and not a terrorist...
More than 50 people have been killed and over 200 injured in a gun attack in Las Vegas, Nevada, today.
It has become the...
Putin gives Trump “requires improvement” rating during annual appraisal meeting
Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin have sought to deny allegations that President Trump has been awarded a, "requires improvement" rating during his first one...
Home Office to open Job Centre and Benefits Office in Migrant Calais Jungle
There was outrage in the editorial bunker at The Rochdale Herald after one of the editorial team accidentally read an article in the Telegraph.
"It...
British taxpayers waste £280 million to build miniature luxury motorway on tiny island
St Helena has just seen the completion of a spanking brand new airport... sorry motorway.
All the latest materials and construction techniques were employed to...
All your medals belong to us – Says China
As the country basks in the glory of Team GB's second place in the Olympic medal table, China released a press statement saying,
"The People's...
UK “unsafe” says Trump as British Armed Police “Worst in the World”
Donald Trump has declared Britain "unsafe for US Citizens" as the UK Armed Police have been named the worst in the World on the...
Bill Clinton Gives Trump His “Little Black Book”
Bill Clinton, who famously began his Presidency by drawing up a list of every woman in America between the ages of 18 and 35, has formally handed over his Little Black Book to President Trump.
Only a good guy with a knife can stop a bad guy with a...
The Head of the National Cutlery Association, Wayne La Cuillère, has lashed out at Donald Trump on Twitter this afternoon, after the US President...
Trump Invades Iraq
President Trump has declared war on Iraq after a five minute conversation with Tony Blair.
The former British PM, referred to by White House officials...
Julian Assange plans quiet Christmas at home
Julian Assange has confirmed that he will be having a quiet Christmas at home this year.
In a telephone call Mr Assange told us,...
Trump to surprise himself with another Trump portrait for Valentine’s Day
In another sign of his commitment to his relationship with himself Trump has commissioned another portrait of himself as a surprise Valentine's gift to...
