Trump gives world a ‘pearl necklace’ as withdrawal does not stop emissions

President Donald J. Trump will keep his promise not to come in the world’s mouth and insisted he would squirt his emissions onto the...
Trump:May

Special relationship means you ask me for stuff and I tell you to get...

1
Trump has confirmed that the status of ‘Special Relationship’ means that he basically ignores any request that Prime Minister May might ask of him...
Donald Trump

Trump attends Paris Armistice commemoration after hearing there is a golf course nearby

0
POTATUS has attended an Armistice commemoration in Paris a day after demonstrating the sort of spirit that has earned him the nickname, Cadet Bone...
Theresa May

Theresa May admits using ‘BREXOMATHICS’ to calculate number of overstaying foreign students

11
"It's so simple, you take a real number and keep doubling it until everyone's eyes light up," explained May pointing out that it worked...

Bad guys with guns get more practice complain good guys with guns

0
Good guys with guns in America went on the record this morning to complain they're unfairly getting a bad reputation after failing to prevent the 2078th successive mass shooting since 2,000.

Area 51 to Close Aliens Expelled – Trump Conversation with Galactic Emperor ‘Worst...

0
Donald Trump has ordered the closure of Area 51 and the immediate expulsion of all aliens.  During a turbulent conversation with The Galactic Emperor, which...
Donald Trump

Donald Trump denies allegations he has rigged erections

9
The allegation was made by Anthony "Fandango" Scaramucci following his removal from post. The President's former tiny-right-hand man lashed out indiscriminately at his former...

Trump’s presidency is ‘metaphorical, not literal’, says Spicer

0
Following unsubstantiated wiretapping allegations, president Trump’s press secretary, Sean Spicer, has argued that Trump is the metaphorical president and leader of the free world,...
Cave Diver

Rescue divers call off search for viable Customs Union Plan

Rescue divers searching for a viable plan for a customs union palatable to lunatic backbench MPs have finally called off the search. Having plumbed the...

People of Aleppo not quite white enough

0
European leaders have come together to stress how upset they are that the people of Aleppo have ever so slightly funny coloured skin and...

Condoms are a commie liberal plot to give everybody AIDS according to Trump VP

0
Revelations of comments  made by Donald Trump's running mate, the 'Caucasian Executioner of Indiana', Mike Pence show that Governor Pence might not know how...

Australia’s Immigration Minister calls for tougher toughness

0
Peter Dutton, Australia’s Immigration Minister, launched a scathing attack on Australia’s business leaders following their public support for the legalisation of gay marriage. Heads of...
Time Magazine

Trump joins Time Magazine “Person of the Year” club

In a move in keeping with the utter shit show that has been 2016, Time Magazine has named the orange baboon Donald Trump "Person...

Bands line up to celebrate Trump’s impeachment

8
The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal the star studded line up already in place for celebrating the impeachment of Donald Trump, expected to take...
Belgian Beer

Belgian brewers threaten budget busting Brexit blackmail beer price boost

10
The world’s biggest beer company, Belgium based Anheuser-Busch Inbev warned Monday that the drop in value of Sterling in the wake of the UK's...

Trump travel ban extends to Narnia

17
President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order adding Narnia to the travel ban and immediately excluding "followers of Aslan" from entering the...

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