US Closes Wardrobe Border Travel Bans on Narnians and Radical Followers of Aslan

1
President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order immediately banning "followers of Aslan" from entering the US.  This will instantly affect talking beavers, centaurs...
Scaramucci

I only just learned how to spell Scaramucci and he’s been fucking fired, complains...

18
A highly paid and widely syndicated satirist has complained about the firing of the White House Head of Communications Antony Scarymuchly, as he’s only...
Trump

President Trump In Deep Water Over Puerto Rico

1
President Donald Trump has found himself in the middle of a storm of controversy recently following his comments about Puerto Rico. At a press...

Foreign Aid for starving babies is wasteful say countries who landfill more food than...

The Foreign Aid budget is a waste of money according to arseholes in the U.K. Who throw out more food every year than they...

Donald Trump arrested for vandalism after smashing own star

0
News broke a short while ago that Donald Trump's celebrity star had been smashed to bits on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. A Mexican man...

Surprise! I was born in Kenya says Barack Obama

8
Barack Obama surprised the world today after announcing that he wasn't actually born in America after all but was actually born in Kenya, and to top it off is a Muslim.
Julian Assange

Julian Assange Loses Porn Privileges

Long term squatter julian Assange has lost his internet porn privileges at the Ecuadorian Embassy, where he lives in a cupboard, The Rochdale Herald...
Trump White House

Alphabet distances itself from Trump

0
Following the 45th POTUS' increasingly alarming and inaccurate claims, statements and threats, it seems that one particular organisation has had enough. The Alphabet released a...
Nuclear Bomb

Only a good guy with a nuclear weapon can stop a bad guy with...

The only way to stop a bad guy with a nuclear weapon is a good guy with a nuclear weapon. That's according to the...
White House

Reality TV to blame for increase in number of f*cknuggets being elected president, say...

0
Reality TV is to blame for the number of imbeciles and ding-a-lings who are being elected president of the United States, video games have...

God brings Christopher Hitchens back from the dead for ‘shits and giggles’

Deceased intellectual and prominent atheist resurrected by The Almighty 'for a bit of a laugh' following hiatus. Following what close acquaintances have described as 'a...
Kim Jong Un Submarine

North Korea won’t be happy until someone else tests a nuclear warhead on their...

0
North Korea state media shouted the revelation this morning that Kim Jong-un won’t be happy until someone else tests a nuclear warhead on North...
Redneck

Burning American flag saved after hero puts out fire using black man

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A flag of the United States of America was saved from burning today after a brave patriot quelled the flames using an African American...
Woman in curlers

Rochdale Prostitutes Challenge Putin’s Claim ‘Russians are Best’

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Deidre McDearie, voted Rochdale's leading lady of the night eight years' running, has challenged President Putin over his claims that Russia's call girls are...
Katy Hopkins dressed as Virgin Mary

Coal prices spike on news of Katy Hopkins’ incineration

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International coal prices have jumped to $120 a tonne, their highest since 2011, following news that a British court has sentenced Daily Mail columnist...

Monkey spanking decriminalised in Italy

0
A man known only as Pietro L was charged with a public disorder offence earlier this year after being caught choking his chorizo on...

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