Donald Trump

President Trump’s hairpiece flown over Korean peninsula in B-1 bomber

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It was reported this evening that President Donald Trump’s golden hairpiece has been flown over the Korean peninsula in a B-1 Bomber as a...

We tried democracy and frankly it’s not for us, Spanish government tells voters

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The Prime Minister of Spain has told voters that democracy isn't for them and it refuses to recognise the result of a referendum on...

Putin joins America in suffering from Trumpgret

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Relations between the US and the Russian Federation have deteriorated since Trump became president, says Vladimir Putin. "Listen, sweetie dahling, I thought rigging the elections...
Donald Trump

Dictator of country full of gullible starving peasants to meet Kim Jong Un

The ludicrous dictator of a crackpot banana republic full of gullible half starved peasants is to meet with the leader of North Korea, it...

For 50p a day you can sponsor an American Border Child

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New Charity is hoping to help the children Donald Trump demanded to be locked up at the US border.  A new charity has been started...
Lego logo

Lego let go of Trump

It has been revealed this week that toy manufacturing giants Lego will not produce a figure of president elect Donald Trump. Many have regarded this...

Your 60 second news round-up

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Here's The Rochdale Herald's round-up of today's important news headlines: - UKIP leader's girlfriend is a nasty little racist - Nicola Sturgeon backs a second Scottish...

Donald Trump is a twat, confirm G6 leaders

Leader's of the G6 have agreed on the text of a communique officially declaring that Donald Trump is a twat. One spokesperson said, "It's been...
French Military

French Head of Military resigns after Macron cuts £1bn from White Flag Budget

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General Pierre de Villiers today sensationally quit as Head of the French Military in a row over cuts to the French White Flag budget. General...
World surprised to learn that Thailand is torturing pretty much everybody

World shocked Thailand torturing political prisoners

The world was rocked to the core today after an Amnesty International report revealed that Thailand's military junta, otherwise known as "the government", tortures...

Mexican earthquake disaster: whose faultline is it anyway?

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At the Herald, we do not make fun of the suffering of innocent disaster victims, but we do point fingers. Less Mock the Weak,...
Brown bear in woods

Bear Cancels Plan To Shit In Woods

Bryan Pickle, an unemployed brown bear, interrupted a meeting at The National History Museum this morning to make a surprise announcement. "I've been thinking about...
Statue of Liberty

Statue of Liberty planning move back to France

Following a public falling out today between the President of France and the Dictator of the United States of America the Statue of Liberty...
Toffee pennies

Campaign to send 58 million toffee pennies to Syria

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Overseas aid charity, Feed the World, has launched a campaign to collect everyone's unwanted Christmas 'treats' and send them to Syria and other war-torn...

2017 set to be hottest year on record

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Experts in worldwide trends are predicting that 2017 will reach terminal levels of warmth by mid-June. Professor Thorfin Nerfstretcherrsson, Head of Rochdale Community University's department...

All your medals belong to us – Says China

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As the country basks in the glory of Team GB's second place in the Olympic medal table, China released a press statement saying, "The People's...

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