Obama quietly pleased his G20 riots were bigger than Trump’s

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President Barack Obama, who was born in America, is said to be privately pleased the riots at G20 summits he attended were bigger than...
Trump:May

Special relationship means you ask me for stuff and I tell you to get...

1
Trump has confirmed that the status of ‘Special Relationship’ means that he basically ignores any request that Prime Minister May might ask of him...

US Professor Seeks European Expertise to Erase 5 Years History from Text Books

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The Head of History Faculty at Harvard University is to tour European institutions to discover the best ways to whitewash 5 years of history...

Nuclear Football replaced with state of the art 1979 Speak and Spell

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The Secret Service and senior members of the National Security Council have taken drastic steps to toughen US Nuclear launch protocols during Donald Trump's presidency by replacing the Nuclear Football with 1979 Speak and Spell.
Roy Moore

Roy Moore ordered to pay if he wants another go after coming in a...

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The Alabama Secretary of State has told Judge Roy Moore that he will have to finance any recount of the Senate seat vote. John Merrill...

Liam Fox Seeks Trade Deal With ISIS

International Trade Secretary Liam Fox will fly into Iraq later today in the hope of securing a trade deal with the so-called 'Islamic State'. Fox...

Argentina offers to invade Falklands Islands for £1B if that will help May?

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A man claiming to represent Argentina has allegedly phoned the British prime minister and said for £1 billion they will pretend to invade the...
Putin Appraisal

President of The United States looking forward to meeting Donald Trump

Russian officials have confirmed that Vladimir Putin is looking forward to meeting Donald Trump in Helsinki next month. One told us, "The President is looking...

Obama rushed to hospital after biting through lip during Trump press conference

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President Barack Obama was rushed to hospital yesterday after sustaining injuries during a press conference. Herald reporter Scott McCracknee was there and describes what happened. "Mr...
Executioner with axe

U.S. prepares for Steve Bannon’s execution

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Following an interview in which Steve Bannon compared himself to Tudor-era royal adviser Thomas Cromwell, America is making hasty preparations for the execution of Donald...

NASA announce Kellyanne Conway is not of this world

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NASA has announced it will hold a press conference later this week to reveal new discoveries "of significant importance, "beyond our solar system". The agency...
Donald Trump

Donald Trump denies allegations he has rigged erections

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The allegation was made by Anthony "Fandango" Scaramucci following his removal from post. The President's former tiny-right-hand man lashed out indiscriminately at his former...
Trump Airplane

Carolinians told to evacuate to avoid category 4 Trump visit

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Residents of the US State of Carolina have been warned to evacuate due to the threat of a category 4 visit from Donald Trump. State Governor,...
Sergei Lavrov

Sergei Lavrov Trump’s ‘Top Choice’ for new FBI Director

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Sources within the Trump administration have downplayed rumours that Russian diplomat Sergei Lavrov is in the running to become the next Director of the...

Donald Trump Jr upset by chants of ‘lock him up’ from Donald Trump Snr

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Donald Trump Jr has allegedly complained that President Trump keeps chanting 'lock him up' at him. Trump Junior made a complaint to a White House...

Netanyahu accidentally condemns use of phosphorous based weapons on children

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This week video footage of a possible chemical weapons attack on civilians, including children has emerged.  The footage shows men and children frothing at the mouth, whilst...

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