Trump Airplane

Trump locked out of nuclear football after entering incorrect code three times and forgetting...

28
Apparently POTUS did get Ivanka to click on the “forgotten your password?” help icon on the device that destroys worlds and was offered a series of security questions in order to reset his password.

Toymaker confesses he made Melania Trump to keep Pinocchio company

0
A Tuscan toymaker has ended days of speculation by confessing he made a new female doll to keep his infamous, lying, long nosed boy...
Drone

ISIL in talks with Amazon over drone deliveries deal

0
An email has surfaced, from an anonymous source claiming to be from within Amazon, which suggests that the international distribution leviathan is in secret...

Theresa May offers Germany Sunderland

0
Theresa May was left visibly irritated this morning when a generous offer to Germany was rejected out of hand. May’s sincere offer, to hand Sunderland over...

May to appeal to Supreme Court ruling at European Court of Justice

5
In a move that has thoroughly confused political observers, Theresa May has instructed the Attorney General to appeal today's Supreme Court judgement on Article...

U.S transgender community ‘relieved’ they will not die fighting for Trump

0
As President Trump, leader of the free world, announced that transgender citizens would no longer be allowed to serve the U.S. Armed forces in...

Breaking: The person trespassing on the White House has been revealed as Nigel Farage

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A spokesperson for White House Security has just confirmed that the intruder apprehended today was Nigel Farage. Mr. Farage was promptly arrested after scaling the...
Trump:May

Special relationship means you ask me for stuff and I tell you to get...

1
Trump has confirmed that the status of ‘Special Relationship’ means that he basically ignores any request that Prime Minister May might ask of him...

Singing Ringing Tree to be felled for post-Brexit firewood

0
Britain's exit from the European Union is set to spell the end for some of the country's best loved children's TV programmes, it was...
Man in tinfoil hat

Trump: tinfoil a good defence against mind control rays

0
President-elect Donald J Trump has announced a groundbreaking and cutting edge technology to combat the growing menace of conspiracies facing the US. He is well...

Obama quietly pleased his G20 riots were bigger than Trump’s

1
President Barack Obama, who was born in America, is said to be privately pleased the riots at G20 summits he attended were bigger than...

National security at stake after Donald Trump gets stuck in revolving door

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The removal from office of Anthony "You're fired!" Scaramucci and Reince "You're fired too!" Priebus have prompted many White House insiders to consider the...
Venezuela

Sinn Fein election observer confirms Venezuelan blowjobs, cocaine and elections are best in world

"I've had my share of blowjobs," confirms Jarry Odoms, mouthpiece of Sinn Fein. "But nobody does erections, I mean elections, like the Venezuelans. Now...
Putin Appraisal

President of The United States looking forward to meeting Donald Trump

Russian officials have confirmed that Vladimir Putin is looking forward to meeting Donald Trump in Helsinki next month. One told us, "The President is looking...
White Lives Matter

Bravery of white lives matter protesters saluted after US march

0
I was born white and as such I face discrimination on a daily basis. Only the other day I was told I couldn't have a job in Starbucks because I have a swastika tattoo on my face. Apparently it may offend customers. It's because I'm white.
Donald Trump

Donald Trump denies allegations he has rigged erections

9
The allegation was made by Anthony "Fandango" Scaramucci following his removal from post. The President's former tiny-right-hand man lashed out indiscriminately at his former...

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