Theresa May Selective In Button Pressing

Prime Minister Theresa May briefly excited Brexiters yesterday when she announced she would definitely push the button. As cheers rang out across the nation it...
Brown bear in woods

Bear Cancels Plan To Shit In Woods

Bryan Pickle, an unemployed brown bear, interrupted a meeting at The National History Museum this morning to make a surprise announcement. "I've been thinking about...
Sorry Trump

Donald Trump ‘very sorry’ for accidentally nuking North Carolina

0
As the world looked on with intrigue and anticipation at the spat between the USA and North Korea, a horrifying incident occurred. With the...

2017 set to be hottest year on record

0
Experts in worldwide trends are predicting that 2017 will reach terminal levels of warmth by mid-June. Professor Thorfin Nerfstretcherrsson, Head of Rochdale Community University's department...
Farage

So Mr Farage, what first attracted you to the white supremacist sympathising billionaire Donald...

6
That was the question that Nigel Farage was asked by TV interviewer Mrs Morton and Mr Farage MP (just kidding) obliged like never before. Mr...

Notre Dame Cathedral fire caused by unattended Chip pan in bell tower

0
Parisian fire fighters are currently battling a roaring fire at the Notre Dame cathedral. The fire has caused one of the medieval spires and a...

US Closes Wardrobe Border Travel Bans on Narnians and Radical Followers of Aslan

1
President Donald Trump last night signed an Executive Order immediately banning "followers of Aslan" from entering the US.  This will instantly affect talking beavers, centaurs...
Trump Golf

Scientists confirm Donald Trump’s ego and waistline are inflating at an alarming rate

0
Scientists have today confirmed that, President of the United States, Donald Trump is inflating at an alarming rate. On his Inauguration Day on 20th...
Muhammadu Buhari

President of corrupt shithole country to meet President of Nigeria Muhammadu Buhari

Nigerian President Muhammadu Buhari will become the first leader from sub-Saharan Africa to be received by the President of the corrupt North American tin...

David Duke retracts Trump endorsement saying no room for “locker room banter” in politics

0
In sensational news today David Duke, the former head of the Ku Klux Klan, has withdrawn his support for Republican Presidential Candidate Donald Trump.
Donald Trump

Actor playing Donald Trump forgets stage directions

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Due to White House budget cuts, an experienced but cheap actor was selected for the part. Bit part "character actor" Rowle Player is best...
Scaramucci

I only just learned how to spell Scaramucci and he’s been fucking fired, complains...

18
A highly paid and widely syndicated satirist has complained about the firing of the White House Head of Communications Antony Scarymuchly, as he’s only...
Trump

President Trump In Deep Water Over Puerto Rico

1
President Donald Trump has found himself in the middle of a storm of controversy recently following his comments about Puerto Rico. At a press...

Elon Musk offers POTUS a ticket to ride his rocket

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Sources close to the White House have revealed that Elon Musk has today offered Donald Trump a ride on the next Falcon Heavy rocket. The...
AR-15

Americans forced to drink milkshakes through AR-15 assault rifles after plastic straw ban hits...

0
The unjust plastic straw ban threatens the American way of life, but citizens are finding an innovative way to beat the ban.   Consuming tens of...
Ancient text

“The Cheesemakers?”

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Archaeologists near Jerusalem have discovered what is believed to be a missing page from the Old Testament. If genuine it belongs at the beginning of...

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