Harvey Weinstein

Harvey Weinstein secures Republican 2020 Presidential Nomination

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Harvey Weinstein has officially been nominated by the Republican Party as their candidate to contest the 2020 Presidential Election. Mr Weinstein gained support from a...

Heroic arsonist awarded posthumous bravery medal for putting out fire

A heroic self-admitted arsonist in Northern Ireland has been awarded a posthumous medal for bravery after spending half a lifetime putting out suspicious looking...
Four Horsemen

Four horsemen of the modern apocalypse revealed to be Fire, Fury, Sad and Fake

In a move designed to drag them kicking and screaming into the new era, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are to be retired...

Putin joins America in suffering from Trumpgret

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Relations between the US and the Russian Federation have deteriorated since Trump became president, says Vladimir Putin. "Listen, sweetie dahling, I thought rigging the elections...

William and Kate To Tour North Korea

Prince William and Kate Middleton are to take a break from producing sovereigns for the Royal Mint and tour North Korea. Foreign Secretary Boris...

Your 60 second news round-up

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Here's The Rochdale Herald's round-up of today's important news headlines: - UKIP leader's girlfriend is a nasty little racist - Nicola Sturgeon backs a second Scottish...
Sean Spicer

Whitehouse denies denying things that were denied last week

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The Whitehouse press corps was today left totally baffled by the latest denial issued by a Whitehouse press spokesperson. The denial was in response to...
Sea Wall

Trump announces plan for sea wall to keep out foreign storms

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Donald Trump has unveiled his latest scheme to “make America great again” - a huge wall along the entire coast to keep out hurricanes,...

Britain To Close Controversial Island Refugee Centre

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Britain's oldest island refugee centre, Australia, is to be closed following reports of inhumane conditions and bonkers management. The centre, set up in 1770, has...
Trump

Trump allowed to leave Whitehouse on his own for first time

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President Trump has arrived in Saudi Arabia on the first leg of his International tour. Before landing Mr Trump told the Herald, "We have much in...
Putin White Denim

Putin to sing ‘This land is my land’ at Eurovision tonight

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Russia today announced suprise plans to enter the Eurovision song contest tonight. The Russian entry is to be sung by Vladimir Putin and is entitled "This land...
World surprised to learn that Thailand is torturing pretty much everybody

World shocked Thailand torturing political prisoners

The world was rocked to the core today after an Amnesty International report revealed that Thailand's military junta, otherwise known as "the government", tortures...

Trump to brave Muslim controlled no go area during UK Visit

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Despite the advice of Fox News commentator, Steven Emerson, advisors to Donald Trump have said that there is a strong possibility that the so-called...

Syrians praying for UK dog owners tonight

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People across Syria are united in prayer tonight as Britain is bombarded with heavy rounds of fireworks, the worst we've seen in weeks. "It's horrendous"...

Car bombs not as bad as nicking stationery insists Martin ‘I’m a politician’ McGuiness

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Former number three in the Irish presidential election Seamus Martin Pointa McGuinness has resigned from his position as Deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland. The...

Che Guevara’s beret gift from Corbyn confirms Che Guevara’s Dad John McDonnell

John McDonnell has taken to social media today to confirm rumours that Che Guevara's trademark beret was a gift from Jeremy Corbyn.

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