Da Vinci’s ‘My Spunky Pantaloons’ sells for £45m

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A previously unknown Leonardo da Vinci work "My Spunky Pantaloons" has been bought bought by Charles Saatchi for £45m. The jizzy kecks will be...
White House

White House denies that men in white coats are coming to take Trump away

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Electing Donald 'The Donald' Trump as their president was undoubtedly one of the most mystifying decisions made by the American people since changing the...
Theresa May

Theresa May’s Rituals

"Theresa May is signalling distress." Dr. Maca Damia comments, viewing photos of the Prime Minister kneeling by the road just inside Wales. "Do you see...
Katie Hopkins

VICTORY! I am a racist, not a druggie says Hopkins

Katie Hopkins is celebrating her racist and drug-free status tonight, it has been confirmed. Hopkins, 67, made a complaint to the Independent Press Standards Organisation...

All Homosexuals should be stoned, says Mike Pence

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Vice President of the US, Mike Pence, has finally come out - with a statement that may shock many Republicans. President Trump joked a year...

OJ Simpson appointed White House press secretary

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Tongues are wagging in Washington today over what seems too convenient for coincidence as OJ Simpson is rumoured about to be appointed as Sean...

The United States to allow Guns to be purchased from Vending Machines

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United States, Washington DC - A new bill has been passed in the United States, to allow firearms to be sold from Vending Machines....
Kim Jong Un

Kim Jong-un claims North Korea ‘now a Hurricane Power’ after successful Atlantic test

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North Korean leader Kim Jong-un praised the "perfect success" of the country's third and largest Hurricane test and urged further weather development. According to state...
White Supremes

Tribute band ‘The White Supremes’ enjoying huge boost in bookings

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The rising tensions in America have led to violent clashes in the streets of late, which has caused the tragic loss of life. The...

Trump claims fitness app data proves he has more troops than Kim Jong-Un

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President Donald Trump told the world that "there's nobody better than me on the military" last night as he ushers in new era of...
Donald Trump

White House admits Trump thought Korean War was fought in Star Trek

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The White House has apparently confirmed that POTATUS, Donald Trump, thought the Korean War was a war fought in the 1970's in Star Trek. The...

Man-child chickens out of UK visit because people said mean things about him

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Man-child and completely stable genius Donald Trump has reportedly cancelled his planned visit to the UK next month, according to the White House. Trump was...
Donald Trump DNA

Donald Trump: DNA test finds ‘strong evidence’ of human DNA

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US President Donald Trump has revealed that a DNA test shows "strong evidence" that he is distantly related to human beings. He took the test...
Man holding a gun

America in shock after a live streamed dispute is resolved without a single shot...

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Americans were rocked to the core today to find that it was possible to resolve a dispute without gunfire. Chuck Henderson, a 7-Eleven employee from...

Conspiracy theorists concerned nobody might be in charge after all

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American conspiracy theorists heads are exploding at an alarming rate as the two main presidential candidates get more and more terrible. "Up until yesterday I was...

Alcoholics Anonymous of America add 13th Step – Don’t Fucking Bother

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After 63 years of success Alcoholics Anonymous of America have added a 13th Step to their eponymous programme - Step 13: Don't Fucking Bother. The...

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