FBI

There was nothing to tip us off about that bloke who bought 33 guns...

1
The FBI have reiterated that there were absolutely no clues that a bloke who bought thirty three semi-automatic rifles in one year might have...

Trump calls for ‘total and complete shutdown’ of dinosaurs entering US after seeing new...

0
Donald Trump has called for a 'total and complete shutdown' of dinosaurs entering the United States after inadvertently watching the new trailer for Jurassic...

Concern mounts that US teachers are stockpiling weapons of maths instruction

0
Deliverable weapons of maths instruction in the hands of a school or tuition network, or the two working together constitutes as grave a threat...
Donald Trump Wig

Saudi Arabia’s handling of Khashoggi killing worst cover up ever, says completely bald man

A completely bald man who is convinced everybody thinks he has a full head of hair has criticised Saudi Arabia's handling of the killing...
TRUMP POLE DANCERS

Donald Trump awarded prestigious Time Magazine Dickhead of the Year Award

0
Donald Trump has been awarded the Time Magazine prestigious Hitler of the Year Award and is said to be "honoured" by the accolade.
Sergei Lavrov

Kremlin accuse American spooks of lying to Trump

0
The Kremlin has accused America's security services of treasonous behaviour after Lavrov's love in with Trump. A spokesman for the Kremlin released the following warning to...

Director of CIA asks Jason Bourne to drop in on Trump for a ‘quiet...

11
The Director of The CIA, John O'Brennan, asked Jason Bourne to pop over to Trump Tower. Following allegations Donald Trump made about the US intelligence...

Thoughts and prayers shortages in US reaching crisis point

0
Shortages of thoughts and prayers for the victims of gun violence is said to be reaching crisis point this morning with many dead people...

Man-child chickens out of UK visit because people said mean things about him

0
Man-child and completely stable genius Donald Trump has reportedly cancelled his planned visit to the UK next month, according to the White House. Trump was...
Trump Walking

Trump to visit Texas just as soon as the golf courses have been reopened

0
Donald Trump has announced he intends to visit areas of Texas affected by flooding just as soon as the cleaning operation on Texan golf...
Harvey Weinstein

Harvey Weinstein secures Republican 2020 Presidential Nomination

37
Harvey Weinstein has officially been nominated by the Republican Party as their candidate to contest the 2020 Presidential Election. Mr Weinstein gained support from a...

Trump presidency result of Putin prank phone call

0
Russian President and superstar house elf, Vladimir Putin, has revealed that the whole Trump/Russia thing is a prank that went too far. "Trump come to...
Mount Rushmore

Trump vows to chisel four ‘losers’ off Mount Rushmore

3
President Trump has vowed to have the images of four of his predecessors chiselled off Mount Rushmore, describing them as ‘total losers’. In a...

Pathetic spoilt lying child learns lying works both ways

2
A nursery class somewhere in the US was reportedly in turmoil yesterday.  The usual relative calm was shattered by a screaming blubber-baby having a foot...
Trump

Waxwork of Donald Trump removed from Museum in Bumshart Nebrahoma

0
A full size model of Donald Trump used for "selfies" by visitors to a museum has been removed by popular demand. Pictures shared all over...
ISIS

Isis Claims Responsibility for Education Fair Funding Formula Terror

In a shock announcement this morning, that surprised no one, a spokes-stool for Isis (other names are available) claimed credit for the proposed funding...

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