Donald’s diddy digits dodge draft

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As the smokescreen around Donald Trump's draft dodging tactics intensifies The Rochdale Herald has uncovered startling new evidence. The story currently being spun is that...
Donald Genius Trump

Fat bottomed ape learns to mimic human sounds

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Washington DC - A seventy year primitive primate that can mimic human words such as hello, bigly, braggadocios, and covfefe is thought to be...
Julian Assange

Julian Assange unveils plans to have quiet weekend in front of the TV

Julian Assange has tonight been giving a speech outlining his plans for the weekend. Mr Assange who, was told today by a Swedish prosecutor that rape...
Donald Trump

I will sue my victims says Donald Trump

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Donald Trump has vowed to track down and sue all of his victims after the presidential elections.
Obama and Biden

Obama and Biden spend last afternoon playing ‘hide the turd’ at White House

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Outgoing President and his VP Joe Biden have spent their last afternoon in office playing 'hide the turd' in The White House.

Donald Trump is a twat, confirm G6 leaders

Leader's of the G6 have agreed on the text of a communique officially declaring that Donald Trump is a twat. One spokesperson said, "It's been...

Italians face criticism over construction. 

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The Italian government had come under severe criticism today for the standards of its building construction in the 1600's. This comes in the wake...

Gigantic orange adult toddler in misogyny veteran sacrifice spat

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Donald 'The Toddler' Trump was said to be upset this morning after the hashtag DumbDonald began trending on Twitter. The Toddler is running for the...
Donald Genius Trump

Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump to measure micro-willies at summit

Thin-skinned, narcissistic, alternative-reality dwelling clown Donald Trump and "Nuclear" lunatic Kim-Jong Un are to make history by meeting later in the year to engage...

ACEA: No U-Turn on Right-hand Drive Cars

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The European Automobile Manufacturers Association (ACEA: Association des Constructeurs Européens d'Automobiles) looks set to cease the production of right-hand drive vehicles by mid-2019. The decision...
French Military

French Head of Military resigns after Macron cuts £1bn from White Flag Budget

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General Pierre de Villiers today sensationally quit as Head of the French Military in a row over cuts to the French White Flag budget. General...

Women remain underrepresented amongst Taliban leadership

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It has been revealed that women remain underrepresented amongst the leadership of the Afghan terrorist group the Taliban. An internal review carried out by...

New York Times Reported to the House Committee for Un-American Activities

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The New York Times, long considered to be the lap-dog mouthpiece of the Commie-loving East-coast foreigner, has finally (and thankfully) been reported to the...

Trump demands resignation of Dow Jones

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White House sources reveal alleged serial sex offender, proven serial failed businessman and currently failing POTUS Donald J Trump has called for the head...

Syrians praying for UK dog owners tonight

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People across Syria are united in prayer tonight as Britain is bombarded with heavy rounds of fireworks, the worst we've seen in weeks. "It's horrendous"...

Trump asks to buy Greenland after hearing it is actually white

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President Trump has indicated his strong interest in buying Greenland from the Danish.  The move has shocked US analysts as it comes just weeks...

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