Sweden not rocked by terrorist incident

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Hundreds of Swedes were not killed on Friday night by a terrorist attack. A suicide bomber, described by police as non-existent, failed to detonate explosives in a crowded shopping centre, or, indeed, anywhere else.
Theresa May

Theresa May admits using ‘BREXOMATHICS’ to calculate number of overstaying foreign students

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"It's so simple, you take a real number and keep doubling it until everyone's eyes light up," explained May pointing out that it worked...

Putin admits attack on Skripal start of ‘War on Dubstep’

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After repeated denials of involvement in the Skripal affair, Vladimir Putin has finally been moved to admit it was a deliberate attack. Putin...
Rock Paper Scissors

Trump and Putin fail to beat each other in two hour long rock, paper,...

3
Presidents Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin met face to face for the first time in public yesterday and went for each other in a...
Donald Trump

Donald Trump denies allegations he has rigged erections

9
The allegation was made by Anthony "Fandango" Scaramucci following his removal from post. The President's former tiny-right-hand man lashed out indiscriminately at his former...

Putin starts worrying that he might be a dick

Russian President Vladimir Putin has reportedly started worrying that he might actually be a bit of a dick. Sources close to Putin have revealed that...
Cave Diver

Rescue divers call off search for viable Customs Union Plan

Rescue divers searching for a viable plan for a customs union palatable to lunatic backbench MPs have finally called off the search. Having plumbed the...

Trump Press Secretary buys fireproof underpants

1
The secret of Press Secretary Sean Spicer's propensity for hyperbolic bullshitacity has been revealed.  He has reportedly been wearing a revolutionary new type of asbestos...

Donald Trump Jr upset by chants of ‘lock him up’ from Donald Trump Snr

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Donald Trump Jr has allegedly complained that President Trump keeps chanting 'lock him up' at him. Trump Junior made a complaint to a White House...
Mar a Lago

Donald Trump moves Mar a Lago to Tampa Bay for insurance purposes

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Donald Trump has applied to have the address of his Mar-a-Lago changed from Palm Beach to Tampa Bay, ahead of the arrival of Hurricane...

Trump tells California, Cut down all the trees to prevent future forest fires

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POTATUS has announced that if all the trees in California were cut down then there would be no forest fires. POTATUS got the idea after...

Sweden attack was 100 times worse than The Bowling Green Massacre says Kellyanne Conway

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More details are emerging of the savage attack somewhere in Sweden on Thursday, or perhaps Wednesday involving one or less unknown assailants. In a shocking...
Trump

Trump restores American faith in Bush

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Donald Trump has today been credited with restoring America's faith in Bush. Dwayne Dwight of Alabama told the Herald "I was big into Bush in...
Paris

Meghan Markle’s mum ecstatic with trip to Paris courtesy of Duke of Edinburgh

Meghan Markle's mum, Doria Ragland is reported to be over the moon with the trip to Paris that the Duke of Edinburgh has given...

ISIS claim responsibility for Windows 10 update

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ISIS have released a statement taking responsibility for the latest Windows 10 update. The religious group released a statement today saying, "The recent major update of...
Donald Trump

President Trump wins golf tournament with hole in one on final difficult windmill

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Donald Trump has begun his seventeen day summer vacation on a high after winning an international competition at his private golf course in New...

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