People of Aleppo not quite white enough

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European leaders have come together to stress how upset they are that the people of Aleppo have ever so slightly funny coloured skin and...
Prisoner

Rochdale man released from US prison after Trump repeals ‘Merry Christmas’ ban

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A Rochdale couple have told the Herald that their son's release from jail in America is the best present they could have hoped for. Percy...

Australia’s Immigration Minister calls for tougher toughness

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Peter Dutton, Australia’s Immigration Minister, launched a scathing attack on Australia’s business leaders following their public support for the legalisation of gay marriage. Heads of...
Refugee Children

Refugee children launch crowdfunding campaign to buy Ivanka Trump a Spa Day

Asylum seekers were devastated to learn today in an article in The Independent that Ivanka Trump, daughter of the megalomaniac and golf enthusiast Donald...

Theresa May summons devil to discuss Syria

The prime minister has summoned the devil to discuss the government's response to a suspected chemical weapons attack in Syria. They are expected to discuss...

Incest enthusiast congratulates infidelity enthusiast

Amateur golfer and incest enthusiast Donald Trump has congratulated the UK's infidelity champion Boris Johnson on becoming the latest worst Prime Minister in living...
Red and green nebula

Trump Election Due To Cosmic Emissions Says Brian Cox

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Professor Brian Cox has explained the recent election of Donald Trump by pointing to a rare stellar phenomenon. The Oldham-but-not-Rochdale born scientist explained:- "On the 9th...
Angela Merkel

Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to fuck off in person

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Following historic meetings with world leaders such as Carwyn Jones and Nicola Sturgeon during her first week as British Prime Minister Theresa is set...
Marine Le Pen

Marine Le Pen demands Malian be charged with breaking and entering

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Marine Le Pen has demanded to know why a Malian refugee was given citizenship and not arrested for breaking and entering over the weekend....

Trump rally cancels book burning as supporters have no books to burn

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Plans for an official book burning at a Trump rally in Bumshart California had to be scrapped yesterday after it emerged Trump supporters in...

Trump rage over #takeafinger protests

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Donald Trump has demanded "they fire these sons of bitches" over the growing #takeafinger protests. A woman pictured raising her middle finger toward Trump's motorcade...
Putin 2

Russian presidential candidates have families safely returned in wake of Putin’s re-election

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The families of all seven Russian Presidential candidates have been returned safely after the totally unexpected landslide victory for Vladimir Putin. Today Vladimir Putin has...
Cyclist in rain

Prize boffin apparently unaware of weather

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The winner of this year's Dyson James Dyson Boffin Admired By Dyson's James Dyson Award, is Isis. No, not the naughty middle eastern twerps, a...
Trump

Donald Trump is a hoax, says Global Warming

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Global Warming, the phenomenon by which mankind is fucking up the environment, has confirmed on Twitter today that Donald Trump is in fact a...
France

France admits the French Language was created to avoid speaking to other Countries

It has been rumored for years. Now it is official, France finally stops the lies. Confesses they only created the French language to avoid...

German families to heat homes using hot air from Donald Trump

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German families are to use the hot air that emanates from Donald Trump to heat their homes. The news was broken by the German Government...

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