Anthony Scaramucci, The Mooch, President Trump’s new distraction in chief, has denied snorting cocaine with a rolled up fifty dollar note jammed into his nostril.
Mr Scaramucci was addressing the assembled White House press corp after his energetic and quotable phone call to a New York journalist set minds racing.
“It’s all fabrication. I have never, ever sucked myself off, unlike Steve Bannon. You know what he gets up to in his bathroom alone? Right? You with me? What a piece of work. Jesus. And I don’t do coke. I have never snorted it. Never. Not once. Ever. I’ll fucking kill anyone who says I do. You’re all dead. You’re all marked. I know where you live.”
When asked by reporters what the rolled up bank note was doing jammed into his nose he dismissed it as rumours.
“Don’t listen to everything you hear on that filthy vine you call grape. You’re all dead. You’re marked. You better head for the hills. I know people who live in the hills. You bet I do. Don’t bet I don’t. You’re all as bad as Bannon. You’re worse than Spicer. That little cuck.
He wouldn’t have the balls to do what I do. He’d cry before he got any beautiful, energising, lovely white powder up his nose. He’d turn it to juice with his baby tears and be licking the glass like a dirty little amateur. Don’t you print any of this you room full of bitch. I’ll fucking hunt you down myself. You’re all in boxes. In the desert. I’m laughing into the sun with a dirt covered shovel in my hands. The dogs won’t even find you.”
He later denied also making death threats to the White House press corp, although he had a different denomination note up his nose at the time.